Dirty Little Secret
by CreateWriteInspire
Summary: AU College Destiel - Dean is the leader of the group that is constantly giving Cas a hard time, mainly because he's gay. However, when Dean shows up at Cas' dorm room late one night wanting something more from him, things change but, from the outside, everything looks the same. Despite his inner protests, Cas becomes Dean's dirty little secret. Graphic M/M so, you've been warned.
1. Chapter 1

**So, this is basically just a story for male on male smut and I don't know where it's going but, hopefully, you can enjoy the ride. Sorry if it's sloppy but I'm trying to fit this around assignments so lack of time is a contributing factor.**

**Enjoy. **

The campus seems deserted as Cas walks the path from his late night class back to his dorm. He adjusts his square, black rimmed glasses as he explores his smartphone. He attempts to download the PDF of one the required readings in his economics class. His laptop bag bumps him on the backside as he walks.

He doesn't even realise the group of guys sitting on one of the picnic benches until it's too late. He concentrates on his phone. Hoping, naively, that they'll leave him alone for once. Cas knows that this particular gang of guys like to give him a hard time. Led by the infamous Dean Winchester, this band of derelicts often have nothing better to do than get drunk and pick on intellectuals like Cas.

Most of the other nerds avoid them, ran away or, at least, try to give them what they want out of desire to avoid any trouble. Cas, however, knows that he probably causes more trouble for himself by trying to stand his ground.

If Cas was smart, he'd avoid the places that he knows they dwell but, as stupid as he knows he is, he isn't a coward.

As he passes the guys, Dean purposely coughs, "_Faggot_." The rest of the group laugh.

Cas keeps walking with his eyes on his phone but he's unable to keep his mouth shut, "Go and fuck yourself," Cas sings, ensuring that his words are loud enough that they hear him.

"What'd you say?" Dean calls out, outrage evident in his voice.

Cas turns to face him but continues to walk backwards. No one is following him, thankfully. Dean is, however, standing in the middle of the path, watching him.

"I said: have a pleasant evening, gentlemen!" He calls back. He turns again so that he's walking forwards once more, "Try not to hurt yourselves – as difficult as that may be for you when you aren't wearing helmets."

"You mother fucker!" Dean yells out. Still, no one follows. Clearly they are too drunk, high or lazy to chase Cas at this point.

Dean's the ring leader of the group and the only one Cas knows, really. Only because everyone at his college knows Dean Winchester – he's somewhat of a God. He's a well-known womanizer, kind of a rebel and tough enough to take on the entire football team. He sparks fear in the heart of anyone around him. Cas likes to put up a front but, really, if Dean had him alone, he'd be terrified.

No one really understands why he comes to college. Dean isn't really the 'intellectual' type. Cas thinks it's got something to do with watching over his little brother. No one dares mess with Sam Winchester or they shall feel the wrath of Dean.

Cas unlocks his room and enters. He drops his keys in the bowl on top of his bedside table and heads to his desk. He takes out his laptop and lays it on the surface. He starts it up and instantly emails a copy of his class notes to his friend, Gabriel. Cas told their professor that Gabe was sick but it had been a lie. Unless, sick is slang for finally getting to nail that chick who works at the coffee shop and doesn't wear a bra under her white uniform, after two weeks of stalking and ordering twice as much coffee as usual. Cas was pretty sure Gabe was developing a twitch over it.

When Cas is finished, he crawls into bed and falls asleep almost instantly. He doesn't even undress himself.

Cas sees Gabe sitting on one of the outside tables. He hasn't chosen to sit on the seat but on the table, with his feet on the seat instead. Cas joins him.

"Hey, Cassie," Gabe beams, "thanks for the notes."

Gabe sinks his teeth into the burger in his hands. Cas pulls out his pre-made ham and cheese sandwich and starts to eat.

"How was your date?" He asks.

Gabe smiles gleeful, "Great," he enthuses, "chick was all hands."

Cas rolls his eyes, "And your coffee addiction?" He asks.

"I've come to terms with my addiction," he begins, "and I solemnly swear to not return to my dealer for another fix."

"So you're not going to see her again?" Cas asks, instantly translating 'Gabe talk'.

Gabe shakes his head, "I've seen her naked," he shrugs, "I have no reason to see her again."

Cas chuckles, "I'm sure she'll be relieved."

Gabe shoves him playfully.

People often think that they're a couple – Gabe and Cas. Cas is used to it but he feels bad for Gabriel. The funny thing is, Gabriel never goes out of his way to deny the rumours. Hell, sometimes he spurs them on just for fun. Cas often tells him that he doesn't need to do that, that it won't hurt Cas if he wants people to know the truth but Gabe's response is always the same: he doesn't need to defend something that isn't insulting. It makes Cas platonically love him even more.

"Wanna do something this weekend?" Gabe asks hopefully.

Cas shakes his head, "Can't – economics essay due on Tuesday."

Gabe laughs, "Sucks to be you," he comments.

Cas frowns, "We're in the same class," he reminds him.

Gabe's face falls, "Aw, crap!"

Cas laughs.

Just like he promised, Cas donates his Saturday to study. He works well into the night.

Cas stands from his desk when he hears a loud rapping at the door. He double checks the time but his initial thought was right: it's already past midnight, who could be visiting him at this hour? Cas removes his glasses and heads for the door.

Before he can answer, another knock comes. This one is more urgent and Cas suddenly contemplates an element of danger. He's careful as he opens the door and peers through the small crack. He frowns at the sight. A man is leaning against his doorframe with his head bowed. The man raises his head upon the arrival of Cas. It takes Cas a moment to recognise him, mainly because it's extremely confusing.

"Dean?" Cas asks. Now that it's registered, he can only think of one reason that he would be here. He's come to torment Cas more, "What are you doing here?" He inquires.

Dean's half smile is messy and Cas senses that he may be drunk, "I, uhh," Dean slurs, "I…" he looks to Cas' stern expression and he can't quite articulate what he wants to say. Dean leans off the door frame and slightly sways, "Can't find my room." Dean looks to the left and right of him.

Cas scrutinizes Dean with interest, "Um…" he begins, "you don't live in this dorm."

"Oh," Dean says before forcibly chortling. "That explains it."

Cas just frowns as Dean continues to stand there, "Is there something else I can help you with?" Cas asks briskly.

Dean peers around the door into Cas' room, "Did I wake you?"

"No," Cas says quickly, "I was studying."

Dean grins, "One in the morning on a Saturday and you're studying?"

Cas purses his lips, "Well… unlike some people, I don't go to college to scam on naïve chicks and drink my weight in beer every night."

Dean chortles, "I can see how scamming on chicks wouldn't be your cup of tea."

Cas rolls his eyes and attempts to slam the door but Dean's hand flashes up to stop it. For how drunk he is, his reflexes are incredible.

Dean pushes the door open with gentle force and steps into Cas' room with a smile on his face, "C'mon, Cas," he soothes, "It's just a joke."

Dean stands in the middle of Cas' room and invades his privacy with his curious eyes. Cas lets the door fall closed. Dean shrugs out of his jacket and throws it on Cas' couch. Cas frowns at the action. Why is Dean making himself comfortable?

"So… you calling me names and publically humiliating me… that was a joke?" Cas snipes savagely.

Dean looks back, "You live alone?"

Cas frowns and shrugs, "My parents donated to the school."

Dean makes an approving face, "That must be pretty awesome."

"Yeah… it's great," Cas says dismissively, trying to get back to the subject that Dean is clearly trying to avoid. "Dean?" He addresses and raises his eyebrows, "Was that your idea of a joke?" He asks more forcefully.

Dean turns and his remorseless eyes are lit with a smile, "You're still upset about that?"

Cas looks utterly outraged, "It happened two days ago."

Dean practically scoffs, "You really are a girl."

Cas opens the door, "Get out," he says with calmness that's remarkable for how much anger is boiling through him.

Dean covers the distance between him and Cas in two easy steps. He doesn't leave but presses the door closed with his left hand to lean over Cas. Cas backs into the door, suddenly fearful of what Dean might do.

"Make me," Dean dares.

Cas glares, "Just leave me alone," he pleads.

Cas attempts to push past Dean but he's blocked as Dean's other hand touches the door and he's boxed in by two intimidating arms. Cas starts to think that he's about to get punished of rhis smart mouth yesterday.

"Where do you think you're going?" Dean taunts.

"Away," Cas spits.

"Why?" Dean grins and eyeballs Cas up and down, "Is my presence bothering you on?"

"Yes."

Dean beams like that was the answer he was hoping for, "Are you finding it hard to control yourself?"

Cas makes a disgusted noise in the back of his throat, "You're not really my type,"

Dean smiles smugly and shakes his head, completely undiscouraged, "I'm everybody's type."

Cas grinds his teeth, "Why are you doing this?" He demands.

A long moment of silence passes as Dean and Cas stare at each other, "You have the bluest eyes I've ever seen."

Before Cas can react to the strange comment, something stranger happens. Cas freezes as he feels Dean's lips crush against his. In an instant, Dean's hand is at the nape of his neck, pulling him in closer. A million things run through Cas' mind. _Is this a joke? _Cas wonders,_ Is Dean trying to humiliate me again? _Dean's other hand finds Cas' hips and, before Cas understands what's happening, it slides down to firmly grasp his behind. Dean clutches to Cas, pressing their hips together. Cas would gasp if his mouth wasn't occupied. _Dean is hard_. He can feel Dean pressing his hardness into his hip. This isn't a joke… Dean's actually turned on!

It only makes the situation stranger. Dean's growing more persistent with his mouth, willing Cas to respond. Cas attempts to fight his temptation to open his mouth and let him in. He doesn't pull away because he can't but he knows he shouldn't allow this to happen. _What _is_ happening? _He thinks. Dean Winchester has shown up in his dorm room, drunk and looking for a _booty call_? Dean Winchester… the womanizer.

Cas can't take it anymore. Just as he's about to give in, Dean pulls away. Surely, he's grown bored of getting no response and has given up. Cas doesn't have time to consider it. Dean pulls him off the wall and turns him roughly.

The sudden change reawakens Cas' good sense. Dean wraps his arms around him so that his hands are on Cas' stomach, pulling his backside into his groin.

Cas pulls away, "What're you doing?" He stutters out nervously.

"Giving you what you want," Dean practically groans into the nape of Cas' neck before adding a sloppy kiss.

"Dean, I don't want you," Cas says with immense willpower.

"Really?" Dean chuckles into Cas' neck as he slides his hand down the other boys' body to palm and grasp his hard member over his jeans, "Your body says otherwise."

Cas gasps at the sudden pleasure, he hadn't even realised he'd grown so hard. Now that it has his attention, it's almost painful how turned on he is.

Dean pulls at the back of Cas' collar to reveal more skin that Dean vandalizes with fiery kisses, nibbling as he goes. Dean continues to rub Cas, sending unusually strong sensations throughout his entire body.

Dean's hand runs through the hair on the back of Cas' head and tugs lightly, pulling his head back to gain better access to his neck. Cas lets out an embarrassing, breathless moan as Dean nibbles at his neck and ear.

Dean chuckles darkly and presses himself harder into Cas, "You like that, don't you? You dirty queer."

Cas acts instinctively as he jabs Dean with his elbow, "Fuck you," he spits but Dean doesn't move.

As Cas tries to break away, Dean manages to grab a hold of his wrists. Dean quickly pins Cas' hands to the door and holds them there. Dean just chuckles, his breath hot on Cas' neck. Cas struggles angrily but Dean is too strong.

"You're kind of feisty, Cas," Dean comments, clearly amused.

"Does that get you off Dean?" Cas spits back. As angry as he is, he can still feel Dean's hardness pressed into his backside and it makes his groin twitch.

Dean chuckles again before leaning in close to brush his lips against Cas' ear, "Wouldn't you like to know what gets me off," he whispers.

Cas stews angrily – unable to move, unable to get away. Not due to his physical restraints but because he doesn't want to.

Cas almost gathers the willpower to pull away but then Dean starts to move. The first thing he does is close his hands over Cas', entwining their fingers and tightening his hold on him. The next thing he does has Cas almost melting into butter. Dean starts rolling his hips, rubbing himself against Cas. Enticing him, teasing him. Cas almost groans but controls himself. He's thankful that Dean can't see his face, for it's contorted in obvious arousal.

"You like that, Cas?" Dean hums. Cas doesn't answer and that frustrates Dean, "I know you do," he breathes, "I can hear that filthy moan you're trying to bite back."

Cas exhales unsteadily and bites his lip.

After a few minutes without any response from Cas, Dean stops.

Cas stiffens at the sudden change. Suddenly, Dean's uneven breath is in his ear, "Do you…" he begins, "do you want me to stop?"

Cas closes his eyes. He wishes that hadn't been asked. Now it's up to him and he doesn't want to admit how much he wants Dean to continue. Dean – his tormenter. He never thought he'd want him, not in a million years. Even less likely that Dean would want _him_.

Cas hates himself. He hates himself so much, "No," he whispers.

He feels Dean's smile as he presses his lips against his neck once more, only this time, it's more passionate. Dean devours Cas' neck like he can't get enough of his skin against his tongue. Dean unleashes Cas and both their hands slip down to Cas' stomach. Dean pulls Cas in as close as he can get. He then tugs at Cas' shirt until he yields and allows Dean to pull it off completely. Dean revels in the beauty of Cas' pale, alabaster skin and instantly places his hands back onto his stomach to feel him. He runs his hands over the smooth, hard abdomen as he trails fervent kisses from Cas' left shoulder, to his right, spending extra time on his neck.

This time, Cas voluntarily places his hands back on the door and pushes back against Dean. The act sends Dean over the edge and he can't control himself any longer. With nervous hands, he latches onto Cas' belt buckle. When it's open, he unzips his pants and they practically fall to Cas' ankles.

Cas hears Dean undo his own pants and he feels his stomach flutter nervously.

Dean's hand grips the side of Cas' as he liberates his own, painfully hard member.

Cas feels Dean press himself against his entrance and he instantly tenses.

"Dean," Cas cries, startled.

Dean halts, "What?" He asks self-consciously.

Cas frowns and suddenly realises that this must not be something Dean does often, if ever, "I can't just… I need to… warm up."

"Oh," Dean says and there's a strange innocence in his tone that fills Cas up with an odd, longing emotion, "like… stretching before a race?"

Cas almost smiles, "Yes, Dean…" he admits, "like stretching."

"Do you have…?"

"Beside the bed… second drawer."

Dean leans over to dig into the drawer. He quickly finds what he's looking for. He instantly coats his fingers. He slips one into Cas.

Dean smirks at Cas' gasp. He eagerly moves in and out of his lover, enjoying the muffled moans he hears. Dean adds a second finger and starts moving more quickly. Cas stumbles and a surprised moan escapes his lips. Dean smiles to himself, he hadn't meant to do that. He Brushes against Cas' sweet spot again and Cas groans loudly.

Dean moves harder and faster.

"Dean," Cas pleads breathlessly, "Please… I need you."

Dean involuntarily groans, "I like it when you beg," he whispers.

Dean quickly slicks himself and hastily slides into Cas. It's the warmest, tightest, greatest feeling he's ever experienced. Dean and Cas simultaneously groan as Dean sinks in.

"Don't move," Cas warns, afraid that Dean might move prematurely.

Dean stops dead, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Cas says tightly, "I just need a second."

Dean breathes down Cas' neck, "Am I too big?" He chuckles. Dean senses an eye roll from Cas.

"Shut up, Dean," Cas retorts. Dean laughs again and places a kiss on Cas' back.

"C'mon Cas," he encourages, "I'm going crazy here." Dean's hands slip down Cas' body and grasp his hard member. Dean starts to move his hand.

Cas moans, "Move Dean," he pleads.

Dean pulls out slowly before slamming back into Cas. "Oh, God," Cas cries. Dean smiles and lets go of Cas' manhood. He digs his nails into Cas' hips and starts to move faster. He slams his hips against Cas. Cas clenches his hands into fists. The sight of the action drives Dean insane.

"Oh, God," Cas cries again, "Oh, fuck, Dean!"

Dean groans, "Say it again," he pleads.

"Oh, Dean," Cas repeats, causing Dean's pleasure to practically double. Dean feels himself start to build impossibly quickly. If he doesn't stop, he's going to go over the edge. Dean feels the impending orgasm and pulls out of Cas. Even if he just stopped, the sensation of Cas around him would've caused it anyway.

Cas looks back, devastation written on his face, "Why'd you stop?" He asks.

Dean doesn't want to reveal the embarrassment that he'd almost lost it. He's never had this problem before, especially not while drinking. Then again, he's only ever been with women. He expels the inevitable truth from his mind instantly.

Dean's eyes flash to Cas' bed, "Bed," he gestures.

Cas nods eagerly and moves to take his position on the mattress. Dean lets his pants drop and steps out of them. He pulls his shirt up over his head. Dean stands behind Cas and rubs himself against Cas' backside. Cas whimpers softly. Dean had hoped to calm himself and tease Cas but he'd only made himself more crazy. He can't help it, he pushes himself into Cas once more.

He picks up the pace. Dean tries to keep his orgasm under control but the noises coming from Cas are so desperate and lustful that trying is pointless. He tries to block it out but he can't. Dean feels himself build again and he doesn't think he can stop himself this time.

"Oh, fuck Dean, I'm gonna'…" Cas cries.

Dean fills with relief, "Me too, Cas," Dean responds eagerly.

Dean realises that Cas is touching himself and any of Dean's willpower disappears.

"Oh, God!" Cas cries as he erupts. Dean's only a second behind him as he feels himself explode inside of Cas. The two collapse onto the bed. Dean tries to catch his breath and, as he does, the reality of the situation hits. Now that he's sobered and satisfied, the idea of fucking Cas' brains out doesn't seem so great.

Dean just had sex with a guy. _Fuck!_ He thinks, _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

Dean pulls himself off and out of Cas quicker than he thought he'd be able to. Cas rolls onto his back, his breathing shallow and quick. He watches Dean as he furiously pulls on his pants, stands and buckles them. Cas frowns, did he miss something? When did a satisfying sexual experience fuel anger? Cas was under the impression it was the other way around. He stares at Dean, pleading for an explanation. Dean pulls on his t-shirt and his eyes finally fall on Cas. They're hard and his jaw is clenched tight.

"You tell anyone about this and I'll kill you," Dean threatens savagely. He snatches his jacket off the couch and doesn't spare Cas another glance before storming out the door and slamming it behind him.

Cas lies there, feeling confused and, admittedly, a little hurt. He feels used and, suddenly, quite dirty. He never usually does things like what he did with Dean but he'd been swept up in the moment. He disregarded any willpower he had and allowed his carnal urges to rule him for a moment of bliss. He never does that. Call him old-fashioned but he's not one to consider sex as a simple, meaningless act. He's only slept with people who meant something to him. He's never slept with someone he didn't know for a single night of fiery, satisfying love making. Well, he can't say that now.

Cas feels awful about himself.

He spread his legs like a common whore. Even worse, he spread them for Dean Winchester.

Cas buries his head behind his blanket in shame and forces himself to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry it's short but the next part will come quickly.**

**Haha **_**come quickly**_**.**

**Sorry.**

Cas keeps his eyes open all day on Monday. He constantly searches the grounds for Dean. He doesn't know if he's fearful or hopeful that he might see him.

He lays eyes on Gabriel sitting in the cafeteria and he makes his way over. He slides into the seat across from him. Gabe notices that Cas has a little bit more stubble than usual, his hair is messier and his tie is slightly askew.

"Hey Cassie," Gabe grins. Cas gives him a swift nod. "Did you get your assignment done?"

Cas shakes his head, "Not all of it."

Gabe frowns, "What?" He demands, emphasising his outrage for comical value, "The great and powerful Cas has left an assignment to the last minute?! Alert the church elders!"

Cas rubs his eyes sleepily, "Shut up," he says.

Gabe chuckles, "You're a bad student," he jokes.

"You probably haven't even started it!" Cas cries.

"Not the point," Gabe argues, "I can't start yet because-,"

"Any assignment that you can't do the night before is an assignment you can't do," Cas finishes his sentence, he's heard it all before, "I know," he adds.

Gabe grins widely. Actually, Cas wishes he could be more like Gabe. Cas works hard for his grades but Gabe will write this essay tonight and still get at least a B minus.

"So what happened?" Gabe continues, "Writer's block?"

"I was distracted," Cas responds.

Gabe frowns, "What distracted you?"

_Masturbating over Dean all weekend_, Cas thinks. He's immediately thankful that he isn't one of those people who speak without thinking. He'd be humiliated right now. Actually, he's a little embarrassed just by having such dirty thoughts.

Cas knows that his face is revealing his utter guilt. He wants to talk to Gabe about what happened over the weekend but Dean's words echo in his head: _'Tell anyone and I'll kill you'._

He sighs, "Something strange happened," he says vaguely.

Gabe looks intrigued, "What?"

"I can't tell you."

"Then why'd you bring it up?"

A long moment passes and Cas can't think of a logical answer, "I don't know," he responds dully.

Gabe rolls his eyes, "Well, you've mentioned it and now you have to tell me."

Cas sighs as he deliberates. He looks around him but the coast is clear: he can talk quietly and no one will hear. Cas leans in to better engage Gabe.

"Okay," he begins, "but what I tell you can _never_ leave this table," he warns him seriously.

Gabe shrugs, "Of course."

Cas shakes his head, "No, Gabe… I'm serious… you cannot reveal a single word, hint or even _think_ about this around another person… you tell a soul and I'll tell everyone about the time you went to third base with that chick in your freshman year and then found out that it was your cousin, Janie."

The smile disappears from Cas' face, "You wouldn't dare." Cas still looks utterly serious and Gabe rolls his eyes, "Fine Mr. Grim…" Gabe puts a hand over his heart and holds the other up like he's taking an oath, "If I should tell, may my genitals be chewed off by ravenous Hellhounds."

Cas almost smiles. He licks his lips, wipes his mouth and glances over his shoulder again.

"Someone came to my room Saturday night," he explains, "and I, uhh…" Cas trails off.

"Cas," Gabe begins, his grin large, "Did you get laid?" Cas blushes and Gabe couldn't be happier. He thumps Cas on the shoulder, "You dog! Who was it?"

Cas shakes his head, "I don't even know if you'll believe me."

Gabe looks intrigued, "Tell me."

Cas checks his surroundings again, "Dean Winchester," he whispers.

Gabe's face drops, "What?!" He cries loudly and Cas has to shush him. "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"Nope," Cas says.

"Oh my God!" He cries, "I can't believe it… he's gay?!" Gabe gushes in furious whispers.

Cas shrugs, "I guess."

Gabe stops smiling, "Wait," he begins, "You had sex with him? That jerk?" Cas shrugs guiltily, "Cas! He treats you like shit!"

"I didn't exactly _plan_ on it," he defends, "I tried to throw him out."

Gabe looks confused, "Well, then… How did it happen?"

Cas lets the silence hang in there. He wishes he had of kept his mouth shut because he doesn't have a good answer, "He touched me," Cas explains.

"Cas!" Gabe cries, "I can't believe _you_ let him have you!" Gabe smiles, "I thought you had self-respect but turns out… you're just another whore like the rest of us."

Cas shakes his head warmly and can't cover his embarrassed smile, "Shut up," he dismisses, "you don't understand… it was like… unbelievable…" Cas feels himself grow hard at the memory. That had been his problem all weekend. "I couldn't even see straight I was so…" Cas just shakes his head.

"But him?"

"I regret it, Gabe. He's a douche but…" Cas supresses a groan at the memory. "Jesus Christ it was hot."

Gabe laughs, "Damn Cas, I've never heard you talk like that." Gabe, on the other hand, likes openly telling Cas about his sexual antics and, in his case, no dirty, gritty detail is too small or too personal.

Cas shrugs, "You're the only person I can talk to about this."

Gabe smiles warmly, "So… is this going to become a regular thing?"

Cas shakes his head, "I highly doubt it… he kind of… threatened me afterwards."

"That dick!" Gabe cries.

Cas points a finger at Gabe's nose, "Silence," he reminds him.

Gabe dismisses him with a wave of his hand, "Yeah I know – Cousin Janie."

Cas smiles.

The next few weeks only get worse for Cas. It's like his and Dean's encounter has made him even more hated than he already was. Dean picks on him more than ever and Cas can't quite understand it. He hates himself and he hates Dean!

He doesn't realise he's passing Dean until his foot collides with something and he trips over. He scraps his palms and they sting. He turns over to see Dean smirking. The rest of his posse is hanging around him, admiring his handiwork like he's some kind of hero.

Cas can't help it when he snaps.

"If you wanted me on my back, all you had to do was ask," Cas smiles mischievously.

Dean's face turns utterly furious. He grabs Cas and hoists him to his feet by his collar. "I think you need to watch your mouth."

Cas emphasises his lips movements as he talks, "I think you need to blow me."

Dean smiles, trying to remain cool, "I beat you'd _love_ that you fucking fairy."

Cas grins, "Well I certainly liked it when you-," Cas can't finish his sentence as the wind is knocked out of him as Dean's fist collides with his stomach. Cas keels over and he feels Dean's lips against his ear.

"Keep your mouth shut!" Dean growls.

Cas' thankful when he watches them leave and he feels safe to sink to his knees and attempt to breathe right.

Cas doesn't expect Dean to visit him again, although he regretfully, half-hopes that he will. Despite how awful he felt afterwards, the experience he and Dean shared had been one of the best he'd had in his lifetime. He wonders if there's something to be said about sleeping with strangers – perhaps he's been missing out by being so reserved all these years. But he knows, even if Dean does show his face again, Cas will surely throw him out. Well… at least he hopes he will.

It's three AM on a Tuesday night when a loud knock comes at Cas' door. He crawls out of bed to answer, thinking it could only be one person. Sure enough, Dean's leaning against the door frame, his expression hopeful. He takes in Cas' appearance and his jeans grow immediately tight. Cas is wearing nothing but sweat pants, his beautiful skin is practically glowing.

Cas glares, "What do you want?"

Dean smiles, "Can I come in?"

"No," Cas refuses.

"C'mon, Cas," Dean says, breaking a smile, "We had fun last time."

Cas glares in his direction, "Yeah," he agrees, "and then you continued to act like a dick."

Dean smirks and reaches out to trail a finger down Cas' stomach but stops at the hem of his pants, "I know," Dean agrees, "I'll make it up to you."

Dean bites his lips and Cas almost kisses him but resists. Cas bats Dean's hand away, "No," he refuses.

"Cas," Dean begins and turns on his best smoulder, "please," he implores. Cas stares at him curiously, "I want you," he admits.

"I don't let pricks into my bed,"

"Last time - ,"

"Last time was a mistake," Cas cuts across him.

"You're mad," he acknowledges.

"You _punched_ me!" Cas roars.

"C'mon Cas, let me make it up to you…" Dean forces his way in, ignoring Cas' protests. He quickly shuts the door.

Before Cas can react, Dean drops to his knees, hooks his fingers over the hem of Cas' pants and instantly takes his member into his mouth. The force presses Cas against the door and a loud gasp escapes him. He intends to throw him off but the surprise subsides and pleasure invades every inch of his body. Cas is so shocked by the immense, overwhelming sensation that he doesn't even care about his integrity anymore. He'll take any amount of self-loathing for this feeling. It's unlike any pleasure he's ever experienced.

"Oh, God," Cas moans loudly as Dean's tongue darts around his member, giving him the most glorious blow job of his life. Dean manages to hit all the right spots and has the perfect rhythm. It's blowing Cas' mind. Cas has been with people much more experienced than Dean and yet, none of them had anything next to Dean's skills. Cas silently fears that Dean is secretly some sleeps-with-lots-of-random-guys-yet-is-still-in-th e-closest-slut.

Dean bobs his head around Cas' shaft, bringing him to the end impossibly soon, "Oh, fuck, Dean," Cas groans, allowing his hand to gently rest against Dean's head.

A chill rests on Cas' manhood as Dean pulls away, "Do you like that, Cas?" He asks, his lustful eyes looking up at his lover.

Cas acts on instinct, "Dear God, don't stop!" He cries, grabbing the back of Dean's hair and pulling him back onto his hard, wet shaft.

Dean groans deeply with a mouthful of Cas. His hands reach up to clutch at Cas' beautiful hips. He runs his hands up and down Cas' torso, revelling in the beauty of his delicately soft skin yet hard muscle.

Cas closes his eyes and tilts his head back, overwhelmed with pleasure as he strokes his lover's hair, "Oh, God." He looks back at Dean, unable to keep his eyes off the beautiful sight of Dean on his knees, with Cas between his lips.

Cas feels himself start to build, "Dean," he breathes. Dean works him more furiously, more eager to get Cas off than he's ever been with a lover. As soon as Dean starts working harder and faster, Cas is tipped over the edge. He cries Dean's name as he erupts. Cas is surprised and delighted when Dean willingly takes it and eagerly swallows. Cas leans back against the door and attempts to catch his breath. Dean stands and wipes his mouth with a satisfied smirk on his face. Something about the gesture excites Cas – he didn't think that was possible so quickly.

Dean leans in. Cas, kind of delirious from the experience, reaches out to guide Dean to him, sloppily meshing their lips together and welcoming the taste of himself on Dean's mouth. Dean leans in to press their bodies together.

Dean pulls away slightly, "Was that…" he begins, whispering into Cas' slightly parted mouth, "was that good?"

Cas frowns at Dean, "Have you…" Cas swallows and licks his lips, "ever done that before?"

Dean looks devastated, "You could tell?" He demands.

"No, Dean," Cas soothes, placing a calming hand over his chest, "it was…" Cas groans and presses his lips to Dean's again, "mind-blowing," he says against Dean's lips.

He feels Dean smile. Cas almost gasps as Dean wraps his arms around his lover's waist and lifts him. Cas realises what he wants and wraps his legs around Dean's hips as he's pressed into the door. Cas tugs at Dean's hair as he devours his mouth. Cas allows himself to uninhibitedly moan as Dean's lips move to greedily attack his neck.

Cas tugs at Dean's shirt, trying to get it off and feel his bare, muscular chest against him again. Dean presses his groin harder into Cas in an attempt to hold his lover there and free his arms. Dean lets Cas undress him. He cups the back of Cas' neck and brings him in to embrace another heated kiss.

Dean wraps his arms around Cas' waist and pulls him off the door. He backs into the bed and sits, forcing Cas onto his lap. Cas runs his hands through Dean's hair as they kiss.

Every movement is so desperate and intense. Despite the fact that, outside the bedroom, they hate each other, there is undeniable heat.

Cas grinds his hips down against Dean.

"I do want to know what gets you off," Cas whispers into Dean's ear, tugging at his earlobe with his teeth.

Dean makes a noise between a chuckle and a moan. He wraps a hand at the nape of Cas' neck and forces his ear to his lips, "You, Cas" he slurs passionately.

Cas smiles before latching his hands onto Dean's belt. He impatiently undoes his pants and unleashes his rock hard shaft. Cas starts moving his hand furiously.

Dean inhales a stuttered breath, "Fuck," he moans.

Cas starts to move faster. Dean latches his hand onto the back of Cas' hair and holds their lips together by force. Dean moans as he invades Cas' mouth eagerly. Dean's other hand moves to grasp Cas' manhood. He begins moving his hand in sync with Cas, making his lover grow hard.

Dean feels Cas' member bush against his own and he groans loudly. He breaks their lips connection to look down at the beautiful sight. Dean keeps his fingers locked in Cas' hair and refuses to let him move even an inch away, their foreheads stay glued.

Cas swats away Dean's hand and takes both his and Dean's shaft in his hand and starts working them together.

A lustful, animalistic moan escapes Dean. He keeps his eyes locked on Cas' work, unable to look away. He keeps Cas locked against him as he breathes heavily against his mouth.

"You like that, Dean?" Cas breathes.

"Yes," Dean moans, "It's so… You're so…" Dean licks his lips, "You're so fucking hot, Cas."

Cas grins and presses his lips against Dean's once more. The action fuels Dean's fire and he holds Cas' kiss and deepens it like he can't get enough of him.

Dean swiftly moves Cas so that he's lying on his back and Dean hovers above him. Dean latches onto Cas' neck as Cas jerks them both off.

Cas moves faster.

"Oh fuck, Cas, are you trying to kill me?" Dean whispers fervently.

Cas chuckles, "I'm trying to make you come, Dean," he retorts in a hearty breath.

The words send Dean over the edge. He clutches Cas' hair harder than before as he groans and rides out his orgasm, enjoying it even more because he's spilling all over Cas' stomach.

As soon as Dean is finished, the anger he had last time returns. It doesn't matter to him that he's leaving Cas high and dry. He pushes himself away from the bed as soon as he can and fiercely dresses himself. Cas just lays there, watching him, slightly dissatisfied.

When Dean's fully dressed he stops and stares at Cas, his face set to scowl.

"Forget this ever happened," he says quickly.

Cas rolls his eyes, "Or what?" He provokes, "You'll kick my ass?" Dean remains quiet for the moment, "What else is new?" Cas continues.

"Just keep your fucking mouth shut!" Dean growls, taking a step towards Cas.

"Why do you come here?" Cas snaps. He grabs the nearest thing to him – his t-shirt from yesterday still resting on his bed – and quickly wipes his stomach before sitting up to look at Dean. "Why do you show up at my door at three am just to blow me?"

Dean grinds his teeth, "It won't be happening again," Dean assures him solemnly before leaving.

Cas lays back down and fumes.

"Dick," he says to himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Cas slumps over to Gabe who's laying on the grass with his earphones in his ears and his eyes closed. Cas nudges his foot and Gabe's eyes flicker open. When he sets his eyes on Cas, his face lights up.

"Hey Cas!" He says loudly, sitting up and pulling the music from his ears. Cas collapses onto the ground next to Gabe who immediately starts digging into his bag.

"Check it out!" He cries and pulls out a piece of paper. Cas immediately spots the big red 'A' on the front. "A minus!"

Cas smiles for him but it doesn't last. He takes out his own paper and hands it to Gabe, "C," he says.

"What?" Gabe demands as Cas lies down on the grass and shields his eyes with his hand, "What the hell happened?"

"I don't know," Cas admits sadly, "I must have been having an off day."

Gabe looks down at his friend, "This wouldn't have anything to do with Dean Winchester, would it?"

Cas sighs, "I did it again," he admits.

Gabe raises his eyebrows, "You mean you did _him_ again?"

A silent moment passes, "Yes."

"Oh, Cassie," Gabe soothes, "What're you doing?"

Cas groans wearily, "I don't know."

"How did this happen?"

Cas rubs his eyes, "The guy has the mouth of an artist."

Gabe looks intrigued, "Really?"

The strange tone makes Cas frown, "Yes," he says wearily. Gabe makes an approving face, "What?"

He shakes his head, "Nothing," he dismisses, "It's just… guys, in general, I've always assumed would be, you know… pretty good… at that… I mean, if _you_ say he's good… he must… wow."

Cas almost laughs, "Yeah," he agrees, a little freaked out at the direction that the conversation has taken.

"Have his goons backed off, at least?"

Cas bites his lip and sits up and hugs his knees, "He punched me in the stomach last week," he admits.

"God sake Cas!" Gabe tries, "Why are you letting him do this?"

"You don't understand, Gabe," he says.

"What don't I understand?!" He demands.

"He's _really _hot," Cas defends quickly.

Gabe just grins and shakes his head. Cas chuckles too. "Just," Gabe begins, "don't… you know… fall for him or anything."

Cas frowns, "Gabe," he defends, "That's never going to happen. Besides, I'm pretty sure he's done with me."

"Why do you say that?" Gabe inquires.

"Because he said it won't be happening again."

"Yeah… well, if it does just be careful."

"I would never fall for that wanker."

"Cas," Gabe begins solemnly, "you've only slept with boyfriends… you've never even had a one night stand…"

"I've also never fallen in love, Gabe," he reminds him.

"Exactly!" He exclaims, "Cas, you don't know the signs… you could get in over your head."

Cas sees the concern in Gabe's eyes and it warms his heart. He rubs his knee affectionately, "Thanks for the concern," he says, "but it's not necessary."

Gabe nods, "Okay," he agrees, "good."

Dean doesn't come back and Cas starts to almost miss him. Despite Dean's awful attitude, their… encounters… have been unbelievable. Cas is ashamed to think of the things he would gladly do to feel Dean's lips around him again.

Every time he hears of a campus party, he prays that Dean will show up late at night but he doesn't. A month passes and there's no sign of him. Cas wonders if Dean would hurt him if he tried to make the first move but he knows that he doesn't have the courage to try.

Dean wanders around the party aimlessly. Every beer he drinks makes it harder and harder for him to block out the memories of Cas. Dean wants him. He told Cas it wouldn't be happening again. He can't rock up at his room again, can he?

It would feel so good, though. Dean's pants grow tight at the thought of having Cas writhing beneath him. He needs a distraction and quickly. Otherwise, he'll most likely skip out and head straight to Cas'.

Dean sets his eyes on a target. She's a gorgeous brunette with blue eyes. _That's_ the girl for him tonight. She's sitting on the couch and chatting with a cute blonde chick. Dean takes the seat next to her. He doesn't have an opener but the chick notices his arrival and looks at him.

"Hi," she breathes, a little pleased at the sight of Dean.

Dean smiles, "I've never seen you around before," he begins, "you go to this college?" Dean knows the answer is no. If she went to this college, he probably would've slept with her already. Back when he still had a sex drive. Since Cas, it's all he's been able to think about. He used to love women and now they dwindle in comparison. He hasn't even made the effort. If he can't have Cas, he'll take care of himself to the memory. Even thinking about Cas surpasses sleeping with another.

Well, tonight that changes.

"I'm visiting a friend," she explains.

"Boyfriend?" Dean asks immediately.

The girl shakes her head, "My boyfriend just broke up with me."

"His loss," Dean says and the girl smiles gleefully.

"Yeah," the girl agrees, "my friend thought it'd be a good idea to… get back at him." The girl runs a finger over her exposed thigh, purposely drawing Dean's attention to her legs.

Dean grins, "That," he begins and then leans in, "is a _very_ healthy approach to a cure a broken heart," Dean winks.

The girl giggles and runs her fingers over her chest like it's a mindless gesture. Dean feels nothing. He helps himself to a greedy view of her assets but nothing. To even get hard enough for this, he'll need to think of Cas. _Cas_ – the memory returns and Dean internally rolls his eyes at himself. Why'd he have to think of Cas again?

Dean bites his lip as he reminisces. The girl mistakes his interest and smiles mischievously.

Dean just smiles, "Excuse me," he says and gets up and leaves.

"Hurry back," she says but Dean has no interest in returning.

He tried, he really did but he can't fight it anymore. He needs Cas.

Dean tries to head out the door but Roman stops him, "Wow, Dean… where's the fire?" He asks.

"Booty call," he grins as an explanation.

"Dude, you got prime and ready just begging for it over there." Roman gestures to the brunette.

Dean smiles, how will he explain this? "This girl I've been seeing has moves like you wouldn't believe," he begins before patting his friend on the shoulder, "even better than your mother, Roman."

"Dude… it's like the rules of bro-hood… when given the chance, always take the strange." Usually, it's what Dean would do. "I mean, she could be mind-blowing and, by the looks of her.. wow."

Dean sighs and his friend grins, "don't worry," Roman beams, "I got this – don't go anywhere!"

Dean goes to get a beer but, within a few seconds, someone's whispering into his ear, "Follow me," she says.

Dean watches her walk up the stairs, wiggling her hips as she does so. Dean looks back and his friend is standing behind him, grinning.

"What'd you tell her?" Dean demands.

He smiles, "That you were gonna bail because some other chick is the best you've ever had and told her that you didn't think she could compare…" he nods in the direction the girl went, "I think she's got a point to prove, bro."

Dean rolls his eyes. He begrudgingly follows the girl.

When he enters the room she slipped into, he's attacked. Lips and hands immediately start to ravish him. Dean kisses back half-heartedly. Next thing he knows, he's pulled off the wall and pushed down on the bed so that he's sitting on the foot. Dean wipes his mouth, he's always hated that sticky, lip gloss shit that, no matter how hard you wipe, never seems to be completely gone.

The girl smiles at Dean as she slips off her dress and lets it drop to the ground. Her breasts and legs are beautiful and flawless but Dean still feels nothing. Her skin is tan. Dean misses the soft, pale, alabaster skin that perfectly shapes the subtle muscle of Cas' body. He misses the slight 'V' shape at the bottom of his stomach that highlights his beautiful hip bones and seems to point to the thing Dean really wants.

The girl straddles Dean's lap and starts to kiss him. Her kisses are strange. They're not heated and almost sloppy. They're almost mechanical and calculated. She purposely runs her tongue over Dean's lower lip sensually. The action doesn't feel erotic; it just feels wrong, like she's trying too hard to be sexy. No one can blame her; she probably drives other guys crazy with this display.

She grinds her groin into Dean's lap. Dean imagines Cas doing it and feeling his hardness press into him. Dean finds himself disappointed that the girl doesn't have a...

_This is just weird_, Dean thinks. He can't even bluff his way through this.

He seizes the girl by her arms and pulls her off him. She falls back on the bed and Dean stands.

The girl giggles, "You like to play a little rough, huh?"

"No," Dean responds and he adjusts his askew jacket. "This isn't working for me."

The girl's face falls, "What?" She asks.

"I, uhh… should go," Dean says quickly and makes to leave.

"Are you kidding?" The girl demands, "You hit on me and then just leave? What the hell's wrong with you?"

Dean turns to frown, "I'm sorry you're upset," he begins, "but you knew I was leaving and _you_ jumped on _me_."

The girl opens her mouth but then closes it again. She settles for a frown and Dean leaves her there and leaves the party.

It's late Friday night and Cas is studying. A knock comes at the door. He removes his glasses and nervously approaches the sound. He adjusts himself so that his expression is composed before he opens the door.

Sure enough, Dean's standing there, scanning the hallway nervously. His expression is hard but Cas can smell the beer.

Cas doesn't speak, he just walks away but leaves the door open. He heads straight to his bed and begins to undress. Dean follows him inside, letting the door close behind him. Dean watches Cas curiously as he strips down to nothing but his briefs.

Cas turns, sits on his bed and leans back on his hands.

He stares at Dean, his eyes burning into him, "Are you waiting for a written invitation?" He asks.

Dean's surprised but a little delighted. He thought he'd have to do some convincing. He takes a step forward and feels himself grow impossible hard. Cas is practically eye-fucking him.

Dean removes his jacket and lets it fall to the ground.

He reaches Cas and slightly sways his hips as he stands between Cas' slightly parted knees. Cas keeps his bedroom eyes locked on Dean. He gives his lover a sweeping up and down look before licking his lips and seizes his bottom lip between his teeth. Dean smirks as Cas' hands reach up to grasp his belt buckle and undo his pants. They drop to the ground and Dean pulls his shirt off.

Dean's hands find Cas' hair and he ruffles it, almost affectionately.

Cas slides Dean's briefs down but he doesn't reveal him, not just yet. He slides them down just enough to reveal a small sprout of hair. Cas can feel Dean's member pressing against the fabric, desperate to be free. Cas doesn't let it, not yet. He places a gentle, chaste kiss against Dean's hip. Cas opens his mouth, dragging his lip over Dean's skin and, very lightly, tickles his hip bone with his tongue.

Dean softly murmurs inaudibly.

Cas walks his lips and tongue across Dean's stomach, just below the usual line where he wears his jeans. Cas' kisses grow deeper and Dean grows harder. Cas moves further down, getting closer and closer. Cas, very slowly and lightly, grazes his lips against the fabric covering Dean's hardness.

"Cas," Dean whispers, unable to take anymore teasing, "please."

Cas smiles before tugging at Dean's briefs.

Without a second's hesitation, Cas engulfs his lover. A gasp escapes Dean's lips. Cas starts to move faster, running his tongue around Dean's shaft and bobbing his head in a pleasurable rhythm.

Dean keeps his hand on the back of Cas' head as he gently moans. Cas' tongue flicks his tip and the sensation affects his entire body. His lover's hands seize his hips and Cas works harder and faster with his new leverage.

Cas goes deeper, causing Dean to gasp and groan. He feels himself start to build but he can't have that. It's been almost a month since he's had Cas and he's not satisfied with just a blow job. As glorious as it is, he wants more of his secret lover.

Dean's fingers lock into Cas' natural bed hair and he pulls him away. Quickly and roughly he grabs the boy by the biceps and hoists him onto his feet. His fingers dig into Cas' skin, almost painfully as he forces their lips together. He tugs at Cas' beautiful, plump bottom lip with his teeth and is delighted by the appreciative moan he receives.

Cas grabs Dean by the hips and presses himself against his the boy's glorious hardness.

The feel of Cas' erection pressing into his own satisfies Dean in a way he can't describe. He slides a hand down Cas' backside and firmly squeezes.

Cas only needs to whisper a simple, "Fuck me," against Dean's mouth and Dean loses control. He roughly turns Cas and presses himself into the back of him. Cas groans and crawls onto his bed to brace himself.

Dean reaches over to the bedside table and fumbles for the little plastic bottle. He seizes it and immediately coats his fingers.

"No Dean," Cas refuses desperately, "Just do it," he pleads.

Dean quickly coats himself, the desperation in Cas' plea only making him harder. Hastily, he pushes himself into Cas' entrance. Cas groans in a mix of pleasure and pain and tightens his fist around the bed sheets.

Dean holds Cas' hips and waits for him to relax. It's extremely tempting to move. The feeling of Cas around his member again is unbelievable. He'd almost forgotten how great it felt. The times he'd pleasured himself over this image were dull in comparison.

"Move Dean," Cas pleads.

Dean eases out of Cas before slamming back into him. Cas groans loudly. Dean can't tell if it's lustful but it turns him on, nonetheless. Afraid to hurt him, Dean continues to slowly slide in and out. Cas feels himself being tormented and he can't stand it.

"Dean," he demands, "move faster!"

Dean eagerly picks up the pace, his fingernails deep in Cas' skin. Every time Dean brushes against Cas' sweet spot, he's rewarded with a delightful moan. It only makes him thrust faster.

"God, Cas," Dean cries, "I love it when you moan."

Cas breathes heavy, "Oh, Dean," he purrs softly.

Dean can't take staring at the back of Cas' head. He pulls out, "Turn over," he demands.

Cas turns onto his back. Dean takes in the sight of Cas' flushed face, swollen lips and even more dishevelled hair than usual and he can't get to Cas quick enough. He hikes up Cas legs, pressing them into his chest and pushes into him once more.

Cas closes his eyes at the sensation and his mouth falls open. His hand tightly latches onto Dean's bicep. Dean slowly picks up his rhythm again.

He's kind of glad that Cas has his eyes closed because he can watch him without getting bashful.

"Oh, God, Dean," Cas moans. The way Cas looks and sounds, makes Dean crazy. Every tiny action he does under pleasure is like watching him bite his lip or seeing him on his knees: a complete and utter turn on. Dean groans as he claims Cas' mouth and forcefully parts his lips.

Dean pumps a little slower, fearful that he might erupt all too quickly. It's even worse when Cas' hands move to Dean's back. When Dean brushes against his sweet spot, Cas fingernails sink in and involuntarily drag down his back. A shaky, animalistic groan roars from Dean's throat. Cas' hands release him immediately and his eyes flash open. Dean's momentarily disarmed when he's staring into those big, blue eyes.

"Did I hurt you?" He asks innocently.

Dean shakes his head with an adoring smile on his face, "No," he says quickly, "no, Cas… it was good."

Cas smiles before he reaches up to bring Dean in closer to him and their lips touch again. Dean begins pumping into his lover quicker than before. Cas tilts Dean's head and begins biting, kissing and nibbling at his neck.

"Touch yourself, Cas," Dean demands. Cas immediately wraps a hand around himself and begins pumping. Dean feels Cas' manhood brush against his stomach and he gasps lustfully. He keeps his head glued to Cas' but looks down to watch his lover pleasure himself.

Cas concentrates on devouring Dean's neck.

He groans into Dean's skin as the pleasure becomes almost unbearable. He finds Dean's ear and nibbles at it.

"Dean," he breathes, "I'm going to…"

Dean groans, "Do it Cas," he urges, "come for me."

Cas entwines his fingers into Dean's hair and tugs it tightly. He groans into Dean's ear, "Oh, God," he breathes, "Dean," he cries out as he erupts.

Dean pushes himself in deeper as Cas explodes, heightening his pleasure.

Once Cas has spilled himself, Dean slows down. He doesn't know if he's supposed to stop. If Cas were a girl he wouldn't stop, but Dean doesn't know if it's different.

"Do you want me to…" Dean trails off.

Cas shakes his head, still panting, "No," he practically begs, "keep going," he insists.

Dean doesn't need more assurance than that. He launches into another, quick rhythm. He can still hear Cas softly murmuring into his ear. His hands rest on the small of Dean's back. Dean claims Cas' mouth again, forcing his tongue between his lips.

He feels himself start to build and he thrusts more furiously. He breaks the kiss but keeps his forehead to Cas'.

"Do it again, Cas," Dean begs, feeling himself on the verge.

Cas frowns but then he realises and places his hands on the top of Dean's shoulder blades. He lightly digs his fingers in, "This?" He whispers.

Dean nods, "Please," he begs, almost there, "as hard as you can."

Cas obeys and drags his fingernails down Dean's entire back. The sensation causes Dean to come undone. He cries out loudly. Cas feels Dean spill himself inside of him and he's thankful that it wasn't a moan of pain. Not _just_ pain, anyway.

Dean relaxes and his heavy breath is in Cas' ear, "Fuck," he whispers.

Cas lies there, finally able to relax.

When Dean realises that he's still lying on top of Cas, he pulls himself off hastily, without looking at him. He dresses himself quickly. He's even more embarrassed because of the things he'd thought and said during… Well, even he didn't think he was _that_ gay. _No,_ he thinks, _not gay!_

He still hears Cas breathing heavily, "Don't -," he begins but Cas cuts him off.

"Yeah, yeah," Cas says, waving him away, "don't tell anyone… I know the drill." Dean just nods and makes to leave.

Cas knows what he's letting Dean do is degrading but he can't help himself. He can deny it, he can try to deny Dean but he knows, in the end, he'll roll over and let him have him. He'll let Dean use him all he wants because all he wants is him.

Dean's visits continue, even the unwanted ones.

It's the night before an exam and Cas just got to sleep an hour ago when a loud knock comes at his door.

He rolls his eyes and checks his phone for the time, "You've _got_ to be kidding me," he says after reading it. Not today, does he have any boundaries? Cas knows he shouldn't get angry unless he plans to make a change but, even though it's the night before his exam, Cas knows he's still going to have sex with Dean tonight. It's inevitable.

He opens the door and Dean enters. Cas gives him a stern expression.

"Were you sleeping?" He asks.

"Yes," he says and moves towards Dean and immediately begins to feel him up.

Dean looks delighted, "Well, more eager than usual, Cas?" He grins.

Cas rolls his eyes as he finds Dean's phone. He quickly puts his number in it and returns it to Dean's back pocket, unable to resist copping a feel in the process.

"A head's up next time?" He requests. Cas pulls his own shirt up and over his head.

Dean nods and then his face falls, "But what if-,"

Cas, as if reading his mind, answers his unasked question, "It's under Cassie," he explains, "no one will know."

Dean nods in approval, "Alright."

"I have an exam tomorrow, Dean," Cas explains stiffly as he pulls at the draw strings of his sweat pants, "you owe me for getting out of bed at all for you."

Cas stands expectantly and Dean can read his mind. His eyes fall to Cas' already-hard package and he grins mischievously.

Cas tugs his sweat pants and briefs down to reveal himself, "Well… what're you waiting for?" He asks.

Dean bites his lip before moving towards him to deliver.

At least once a week, Dean comes over. And still, when Dean's done, he leaves without saying a word.

"Why do you do that?" Cas asks, turning around from his position bent over the desk. For this particular rendezvous, Cas had gotten a wicked idea to watch porn on his laptop while Dean worked him from behind. They lasted about two minutes before Dean closed the computer and whispered, 'I only want you' into his ear. As sweet as it sounded at the time, Cas now translates it as 'you're the only guy I'm willing to have sex with… everything else is too gay'.

Cas pulls his sweat pants up and leans gingerly against his desk. He loosely crosses his arms over his chest.

Dean glances up at him as he fastens his belt but the eye contact doesn't last long, "Do what?"

"Get pissed off and leave as soon as you come?"

Dean scoffs, "What? Do you want me to stay so we can cuddle?" Dean grins and sits on Cas' bed to pull his shoes on.

"Don't be an asshole," Cas dismisses.

Dean laces his boots, "I don't know what you want to hear, Cas," he admits.

Cas rolls his eyes, _he_ doesn't even know what he wants to hear, "Don't worry about it," he says, "there's not much I can say that'll change your behaviour anyway."

Cas is looking at his feet but he thinks he sees Dean tense at the comment. If it affects him, he doesn't show it because he gets up and leaves silently.

"I'm such an asshole," Dean whispers to himself sadly as soon as the door closes. He hurriedly leaves Cas' dorm.

**Thanks for the great response, I hope you enjoy.**


	4. Chapter 4

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

**Just a note: I don't know much about the American grading system (Except that I think it's A-E) and how it works kind of confuses me. I'm just going off what Aussie Uni is like and what I've seen in movies. If I've made any BIG mistakes, feel free to let me know. K, thanks. **

**Enjoy.**

**Oh and to Angelphoenixwings14 – your comment was hilarious and I loved it, thank you. **

The bell rings and Dean makes to leave his last class of the day.

"Mr Winchester?" His professor calls. Dean stops and heads over to his desk as the other students scurry out.

His professor is wearing a stern face and Dean worries that something may be wrong.

"Mr Winchester," he begins solemnly, "I just finished grading your last paper." _Oh no, _Dean thinks. The professor gives Dean a sympathetic expression. "After we discussed your first piece of assessment-," the problem with that one was Dean only receiving a D minus, "-I made sure I graded yours first and… I'm afraid I had to give you a D."

"A D?" Dean asks, the devastation clear in his voice.

The professor nods gravely, "I'm afraid, Mr Winchester… that I was being lenient in my grading."

"What does this mean?"

The professor sighs, "It means that you will have to do much better for the final exam. You can't scrap by with a C minus, Dean... you need at least a B."

"A B? On an exam?" Dean asks. That's going to be hard. Dean is usually okay with scraping by but this class has been a little bit more difficult than he's used to.

The Professor nods, "Yes," he still looks sympathetic, "look, Dean, I know you're trying… I know you really want to pass… but if you get less than a B on your test, I'll have to fail you… you need to try harder."

Dean nods and tries to compose his expression, "Yeah," he agrees, taking his paper back and rolling it up, "Thanks."

When Dean leaves the room he fights the temptation to throw a punch at a wall or kick something. How is _he_ going to get a B?! He shakes his head at himself. He can't fail, Bobby will be devastated and he can't disappoint Bobby. _I'm so fucking useless!_ Dean thinks. If his father were alive, none of this would be happening. John Winchester had been realistic about his son. He and Dean both knew that he was destined to work in the garage and Dean was fine with that. Bobby, however, was not. John died quite a long time ago now and Bobby took Dean and Sam in. Dean had no intentions of going to college and every intention of working full time with Bobby. Bobby wouldn't have it. His exact words were: 'you're smart enough to do anything you want, you idjit… I don't care what your father thought.'

It's Bobby paying for the intuition and Bobby who wants Dean to succeed the most. Hell, the one and only B he's received is hanging on Bobby's fridge! He can't let Bobby down and yet he has because he's so _fucking useless!_

Dean can barely control the anger he feels at himself. There's only one thing he wants, one thing that can make him feel better and he's too emotionally unstable to deny that he wants it. It doesn't matter that he's sober or that it's daytime, he needs it.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas feels his phone vibrate.

_Dean:_

_Your room – ten minutes!_

Cas frowns. Dean has never wanted him in the middle of the day before. Why is Dean drunk at two in the afternoon? Cas slyly replies.

**Cas:**

**I can meet you in thirty – in lecture.**

_Dean:_

_No, Cas… I need you now!_

Cas knows he shouldn't but he _is_ a little curious as to what Dean wants with him in the middle of the day.

Cas replies.

**Cas:**

**Fine, see you there.**

Cas packs up his notebooks and makes to leave. He makes a little gesture to his Professor with his phone and mouths 'emergency'. His Professor gives Cas a little wave and Cas leaves.

It only takes five minutes to get to his room and he waits patiently for Dean. He jumps as his door opens abruptly. He guesses, in the daylight, it's riskier for Dean to wait outside his door for him to answer. Dean doesn't look at Cas but storms over to his window and hastily closes the blinds. Cas stands immediately. It's strange for him to see Dean so angry _before _sex.

Dean turns back to Cas and acts quickly. He covers the distance between them in one stride and reaches out to grab Cas and pull their lips together roughly. His kiss is more heated and urgent than it has ever been. He's clutching at Cas as eagerly and desperately as he can. Cas knows that something's wrong. He's pretty certain Dean isn't drunk this time.

He has to practically shove Dean away to break their kiss, "Dean," he breathes and he can tell Dean's disturbed by the kiss being broken, "What's wrong?"

Dean hates the way his eyes stare into him like big, desperate puddles of the clearest, purest water he's ever seen, "Nothing," Dean dismisses, forcing their lips together once more.

Cas breaks them apart again, "Dean!" He pleads, "Tell me."

"Cas!" Dean protests and his face looks deathly serious, "No, okay? Just… stop." His eyes are incredibly desperate and he's pleading with Cas to give him what he wants in his time of need. Cas wants Dean to talk but he's not going to force it. If Dean needs a distraction, Cas will be it. He'll be whatever it is he needs.

Cas just nods and allows Dean to invade his mouth again. This time, he doesn't break their connection. Cas' hands clutch at Dean's hair and he binds them together. He drags Dean towards his bed. The back of his legs touch his mattress but he remains standing. He slips off Dean's jacket and pulls at his shirt until it comes off. All the while, their lips only part when Dean's shirt comes between them.

Dean seizes Cas' tie and loosens it until he can pull it off completely. Dean continues to moves his lips against Cas' as he fumbles over the buttons of his shirt. He peels it off Cas' shoulders and off his arms completely. He curls his arms around Cas' waist and pulls him into himself. Cas wraps his arms around Dean's neck and he deepens their kiss. He runs his fingers through the short, dirty blonde hair.

Dean pulls Cas off his feet. Cas doesn't need more of a hint than that and he quickly wraps his legs around Dean's waist.

Dean kneels onto the bed and cradles Cas as he softly lays him down. Dean rolls his body, sinking himself into Cas, grinding against him. He sits back on his heels, breaking their kiss to focus his attention on undoing Cas' belt. Cas props himself up on his elbows and Dean watches him through his lashes. His gaze is intense yet, almost, gentle.

Dean peels the jeans off his lover's legs. He takes a moment to run a hand over Cas' calves. In an instant, he tightens his grip and quickly drags Cas down to him. A delightful chuckle escapes Cas' lips and Dean smiles as he crawls up his lover to touch his lips.

Dean pulls away but keeps his eyes locked with Cas'. Dean grazes Cas' cheek with his thumb before running it over his beautiful, plump bottom lip.

"Dean," Cas begins softly, putting his hand over Deans, "Do you want to ta-,"

Dean silences Cas with a kiss but he pulls away again, "I just want a distraction… I only want to think about you."

Dean's pleading, meadow green eyes make Cas' stomach flutter with butterflies. He nods and pulls Dean down to his lips. Cas wraps his legs around Dean and, in one quick movement, rolls over so that he's on top and straddling his lap. He catches a glimpse of Dean's half-smile before tracing his lips down Dean's neck and down to his chest. He dawdles over Dean's glorious pecks before sitting up. He scoots down Dean's legs and undoes his pants and slides them down his thighs, revealing Dean's earnest member.

Cas licks his lips and Dean sucks in a stuttering, anxious breath. Dean watches excitedly as Cas spits into his hand and runs it over Dean's tip and down the shaft.

"Fuck," Dean murmurs softly.

Cas smiles as he slowly begins to jerk Dean off. Dean sits up to run his hands over Cas' back and claim his lips. Cas runs his other hand over Dean's chest and pushes him back down. He leans over to his flick his tongues across Dean's tips, causing him to gasp in pleasure. Cas lets more saliva spread over Dean's member, readying it for himself.

Cas adjusts himself further up Dean's body and tugs his briefs down just low enough for access. Dean feels as if his heart stops. The thought of Cas on top fills his groin and stomach with a warming, tingling sensation.

Dean props himself on his elbows to eagerly watch. Cas places a hand on Dean's chest and keeps one around his member as he eases himself down. Cas gasps at the sudden, painful stretch but ensures that he covers his lover completely. Cas' nails dig into Dean's chest.

Dean groans. Cas rests his hands on Dean's chest. The pain dulls and he slowly pulls off before easing back down. Cas digs his fingernails into Dean's chest as he starts to rock faster and faster. Dean's hand rests on Cas' thighs as he watches his lover work. Cas moans lustfully, his face contorted in ecstasy. Dean can't take his eyes off Cas, the sight is better than anything he's ever seen – previous nights with Cas excluded.

Shameless moans escape Dean involuntarily, "Fuck Cas, you look good like that," he mumbles. He runs his hand up Cas' thigh and palms his concealed manhood. Dean eagerly frees it and proceeds to jerk his hand up and down.

"Oh, God," Cas moans.

Cas moans blissfully, thrusting into Dean's willing hand. Dean rocks his hips up and down, meeting Cas' movements.

Cas leans back on Dean's legs to gain better leverage. He bounces up and down – harder and faster than before, slamming down on Dean.

"Oh, Cas, don't stop," Dean pleads as he feels himself start to build and yearns for release. Cas tilts his head back, relishing in the overwhelming pleasure. "That's it, Cas," Dean encourages, "ride me."

"Oh, fuck, Dean," Cas groans loudly. He can't handle Dean talking dirty to him. It'll send him over the edge.

"Harder," Dean demands.

Cas obeys, "Please keep talking," he begs.

"I'm almost there, Cas," Dean says and Cas moans loudly. Dean smiles, loving how only a few words from him causes Cas to come undone. He feels himself on the very edge of his climax and he can't control his tongue, "Ride me like the slut you are."

"Oh, fuck, Dean," Cas cries. Dean forces himself deeper into Cas as they both reach climax. Cas slowly rocks up and down, riding out his orgasm. When he's finished, he waits for Dean to unclench his hold before easing off him and collapsing onto the bed next to him. He watches Dean's chest heave beautifully. He notices the mess on Dean's stomach and he feels suddenly embarrassed.

"I'm sorry," he gestures to his stomach, "I can get you-,"

Dean waves his hand in dismissal, "Don't worry about it," he breathes. Before turning to smirk at Cas, "Unless you want to lick it off," he winks.

Cas smiles back and shakes his head, "There are… tissues… under the bed," Cas says and Dean reaches under the bed and cleans his stomach up.

It takes Cas a moment to realise what's wrong with the picture. Dean doesn't look angry. In fact, he looks serene; vacant of the anger he had before.

He's not trying to escape as soon as possible. Cas wants to ask him or, at least, give him a quizzical expression but he doesn't want to risk Dean leaving. He kind of likes the thought of them just lying in bed together. Even now, the accidental touching of their arms warms Cas' stomach strangely.

The feeling doesn't last long as Dean sits up. It's probably the hardest thing he's ever done. He wants to stay more than anything but he can't admit that – not even to himself.

He looks down at Cas on the bed next to him, "Thanks," he breathes before scooting off the bed to get dressed. Dean looks hesitant and Cas silently wonders: _Does Dean _want _to stay? _

"Dean," Cas begins nervously, "You can, um… stay if you want."

Dean frowns, "Uhh," he begins, "I don't think…"

"Well… just because it's still light out," Cas begins, "someone might see you." Dean grows silent while he seriously ponders it. Cas continues, "You can just stay… just rest or sleep… until you can safely sneak out."

Dean nods, he tries not to jump too eagerly at the offer, "Yeah," he agrees, "Okay."

Cas scoots over to make some more room as Dean lies down next to him.

Cas pulls the blanket up over Dean and himself and rolls over to face the wall. They almost touch but never actually do. Dean stares at the back of Cas' head. He wants to reach out and wrap his arm around Cas' middle. He secretly wonders, would Cas reject him? Dean wouldn't blame him if he didn't want to… well, cuddle. He can't risk it. Dean keeps his hands to himself.

When Dean wakes up, it's close to midnight. He stirs and looks down to see Cas fast asleep on his chest.

He can't control himself and Cas will never know. He reaches out to graze Cas' cheek and bask in his beauty for a moment. He only allows the slip of willpower for a moment before he carefully eases out from under him and gets off the bed. He dresses quietly before leaving.

Dean spots a piece of paper stuck to Cas' door and he pauses to read it. It's clearly from his neighbour.

_Please sound proof your room or stop having sex at ridiculous hours of the day!_

Dean snatches the paper, scrunches it up and throws it in a nearby bin. No one tells his Cas what to do. _His _Cas. Dean doesn't know where that came from. He tries to dismiss it as a momentary lapse and heads off.

When Cas wakes, Dean is gone. He vaguely remembers sleeping on Dean's chest last night but he dismisses the notion as ridiculous.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Dean still torments Cas and Cas shamefully allows it to occur. Even worse, Cas still allows him into his bed and, since Dean's had him sober, it's happening more and more.

Cas is starting to notice strange things about Dean's behaviour but he often wonders if he sees those things because he _wants_ to.

When Dean picks on Cas, it's usually just an occasionally shove or a degrading name. Sometimes, he throws him around and pins him but he's careful not to hurt him. He never shoves Cas hard enough that he bruises. Even more interesting is that, if one of Dean's friends initiates the bullying, Dean always steps in. He always takes over. Sometimes, he even looks annoyed by it. Sometimes, Cas could swear Dean wants to step between his friends and Cas. But, again, Cas could be seeing things he wants to see.

They're relationship – as dysfunctional as it may be – has become somewhat, comfortable.

Even last night, Cas almost felt like a couple.

Dean texted him at eleven at night.

_Dean:_

_I'll be at yours in ten minutes._

It was almost half an hour later when Dean finally showed up. Cas opened the door and Dean scurried inside.

"You're late," Cas said briskly as he closed the door behind Dean, sounding a little like a nagging girlfriend.

Dean shrugged, "Sorry – I got caught up," he explained.

"Yeah, yeah," Cas dismissed before immediately jumping on Dean, eager to feel his lips again. The hesitation he used to have in the bedroom has now completely gone. When he's with Dean, it's like he has no fear of rejection. Maybe because he doesn't really care what he thinks because, well, Dean's still a dick. With all the crap he has to deal with, he deserves an advantage in this relationship and his is that Dean wants him just as much as he wants Dean. Cas knows exactly how to tease Dean in order to have him begging for it and vice versa. Cas has never been like that with a lover.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas takes the seat next to Gabe in the lecture hall.

Gabe smiles at the arrival of his friend, "How goes the emotionally traumatizing devastation that is your sex life?" He beams.

Cas rolls his eyes, "He slept the night," he admits.

"What?"

Cas shrugs, "He slept over, I mean, he left in the middle of the night but he stayed."

Gabe frowns, "Cas," he warns, "did you _ask_ him to stay?"

"I offered," he explains, "and then… gave him a good reason to."

Gabe rolls his eyes, "in too deep," he mutters.

"Gabe, it's not like that."

"Are you sure? Because it kind of sounds like you're more into it than he is."

Cas scoffs, "Please," he begins, "I may be hopelessly hot for him but he's got it just as bad for me."

Their conversation is interrupted as the professor starts the lecture.

"Doubt it," Gabe mutters.

Cas looks offended, "You doubt it?"

"Yes," he admits.

Cas shakes his head, "Alright… I'll prove it to you…"

"And how are you going to do that?"

Cas shrugs, "I'll get creative… I tell you Gabe, you don't know what it's like – it's like he's all over me all the time."

"Yeah, because you fuck him and keep his dirty little secret," Cas glares and Gabe looks almost angry, "Do you deny it?"

"You're angry, you are you angry?" Cas asks.

Gabe sighs, "It's not you, Cas," he says, "but that guy…" he shakes his head, "is a great big bag of dicks."

Cas chuckles and a neighbour student shushes him. He leans in to whisper to Gabe, "If it makes you feel better… I'll screw with him a bit for you," he suggests.

"Yes, that does make me feel better, thank you," he grins.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Since Cas already painfully and pathetically needs Dean so much that he puts up with the emotionally scarring torment, he figures he can have some fun with it.

It's another unfortunate evening when Cas finds himself walking home after a late night class. Dean and his friends are drinking from a brown paper bag that isn't fooling anyone and standing under the bleachers.

Usually, Cas would roll his eyes and wish they'd ignore him but, today, he has a sly grin on his face.

"Well, well, well," one of them sings. He moves towards Cas, "you just don't learn."

Dean frowns at his friend's back. No one sees it but Cas. He didn't imagine that. Dean moves forward and seems to, subtly, get ahead the group advances on Cas.

"Good evening," Cas acknowledges them with a nod, "what will it be this time, gentlemen?" He asks. "Take my lunch money? How about an Indian Burn?"

"Dealer's choice," one of them answers quickly.

Cas chuckles humourlessly, "Well, given the choice… I guess I'll take the robbery over the pain."

Dean stares down Cas with his smouldering gaze. He's barely inches from Cas, ensuring that he'll be the first to make a move.

Cas just smiles, "You want to kiss me, Dean?" He raises an eyebrow and purses his lips teasingly. Dean's expression turns even darker. The rest of the group fall deathly silent.

"What the hell did you just say to me?" He growls.

Cas smirks, "Is your hearing impaired? Or are you just stupid?" He asks.

Dean grabs a hold of Cas and slams him into one of the poles holding up the bleachers. That kind of hurt. Dean's expression is murderous.

They're so close that their bodies are touching. No one can see that Dean's practically pressing himself against Cas. Cas wonders if he's doing it on purpose. Cas leans in to whisper in Dean's ear, "Does treating me like this turn you on, Dean?" Cas breathes huskily, quiet enough that no one hears. "I can feel your hard-on against my stomach," he smiles.

Dean's thankful that no one's looking at his face, or they'd see him blush.

"Punch him, Dean," someone encourages. The rest of the group agree.

Dean lets go of Cas and begins rolling up his sleeves. Cas' smile finally disappears, _is Dean actually going to punch me?_ Cas immediately regrets his stupid decision. Maybe he was wrong and Gabe was right. Maybe Cas is way more into it than Dean.

Dean turns to face his friends, "Head on without me," he gestures with a nod of his head.

"What?" One of them asks before leaning towards Dean, "Dean, buddy… we'll give you a hand."

Dean seizes his friend by the collar, "I don't need your hand," he growls through clenched teeth before shoving the guy away, "Now… _head on_…" Dean emphasises, "_I_ want to handle this." The rest of them follow the first and head off down the path. Dean watches them go.

He turns his attention back to Cas. He grabs him by the collar again and directs him towards the shadows under the bleachers. Cas watches him as he looks to his left and right, scanning the vicinity for civilians. When Dean's satisfied that they're alone and hidden under darkness, he turns his stare to Cas. A few things happen simultaneously. Cas' back presses against a pole, Dean's hands reach up to cup his face and their lips crush together. Excited and surprised by the reaction, Cas meets Dean's enthusiasm almost instantly. He moves his lips in sync and slightly parts them, allowing Dean's eager tongue to slip into his mouth.

Cas' hands clutch at Dean's hips, desperate to bring him as close to himself as possible. Dean moans into his lover's mouth as the collision of their lips makes his groin twitch.

Dean pulls away but keeps his forehead glued to Cas'. His hand drifts down his lover's neck as they both breathe heavily.

"That smart mouth is going to get you into trouble, Cas," Dean whispers, briefly placing a sloppy kiss on him, as if to emphasise his point.

Cas smiles, "I think you like my smart mouth," he teases, welcoming another kiss from Dean.

Dean smiles as he opens his mouth against Cas', dragging his lips over his lovers' in a way that makes Cas crazy. "I like your smart mouth wrapped around my-," Cas cuts him off by forcing their lips together again by grasping the back of his neck and pulling him in.

Dean presses himself into Cas, desperate to feel his lover's hardness against his own.

Cas' hands slide down to Dean's belt and he tries to undo them. Dean seizes his hands over Cas' wrists.

"Cas!" He protests, glancing over his shoulders furiously, "We can't."

Cas smiles and shakes off Dean's hands and attempts to unbuckle his pants again, "It'll be quick," he says, "I promise."

Dean clenches his jaw and groans softly as Cas' hands slip into his briefs and grasp his hard on. Dean stops him again.

"Cas!" He protests, continuing to check their surroundings.

Cas slowly massages Dean's crotch, as much as possible with his restricted movement, "Do you want me to stop?" He whispers against Dean's mouth.

Dean closes his eyes and releases Cas' hand, "Fuck, Cas… you're gonna be the death of me."

Cas starts to move his hand as Dean continues to check around them nervously. He groans as Cas' lips find his neck, "Relax, Dean," he whispers.

He increases the pace of his hand twofold. Dean's breathy moan is loud in Cas' ear, "God, Cas," he whispers as his fingernails dig into Cas' arm.

Cas sees something in the distance, a guard. He knows they can't be seen but they might be heard. Quickly, Cas switches their positions so that Dean's back is pressed in the pole. He continues to work Dean up and down and uses his other hand to cover Dean's mouth. Dean looks confused.

"Someone's coming," Cas whispers and he's delighted by the horror in Dean's eyes. Dean seizes Cas' hand, forcing him to stop.

Cas gives Dean a serious stare, "Dean," he warns, "let go." Dean frowns and shakes his head, "Dean, let go or I'll stop for good."

Cas smiles when he sees the surrender in Dean's eyes and his hold slackens. Cas continues to run his hand up and down Dean's shaft, enjoying the anguished look in his eyes as he tries to remain silent. Cas watches the campus security guard in the distance. He starts working faster and faster and he can feel Dean's fingernails dig into his hips in frustration. Cas watches the guard head in the other direction and disappear around a building. Cas chuckles and releases Dean's muzzle.

Dean covers his face in exhaustion "You're such a prick," he breathes, his voice still saturated with pleasure.

Cas chuckles again, "Do you want me to stop?" He asks.

Dean stares into Cas' mischievous eyes darkly, "No," he admits begrudgingly.

Cas moves his hand faster and claims Dean's lips, "Good," he whispers against them. He parts Dean's lips with his own, and lets his tongue slip into his mouth. Dean responds enthusiastically and runs his fingers through Cas' hair and pulls at it.

"Damn, Cas," Dean whispers against his mouth, "don't stop."

"Beg me, Dean," he whispers back.

"Please, Cas… please don't stop," he begs. Dean breathes heavily with Cas' hair in his fingers and his forehead against his own, "keep going… I'm gonna…"

Cas brings Dean to the edge and, without warning, drops to his knees and takes his hard member deep into his mouth, "Ah," Dean groans. He erupts instantly as he feels his tip graze the back of Cas' throat. He makes wonderful noises as he rides out his orgasm in Cas' mouth. He doesn't realise that he's pressing Cas hard against himself until he's finished but Cas seems pleased.

Dean watches him lick his lips and wipe his mouth.

Cas stands and kisses Dean cheek, "You're welcome," he says before heading off with a smirk on his face. Dean snags his sleeve.

"What?" He asks, a little breathless, "What about you?" He grins mischievously, eyeing Cas up and down.

Cas just smiles and moves in closer so that he's in Dean's arms, "I'm going to my bedroom to jack off to the thought of what I just did."

Dean grins, delighted, "Can I come?" He asks.

Cas meshes his lips against Dean's passionately, "No," he says bluntly before walking away.

"Why not?" Dean calls.

"Because I like the thought of you thinking about it," Cas calls back.

"Tease!" He yells.

"Prick!" Cas retorts.

He walks away smiling, slightly proud of what he just accomplished.

Dean smiles too, a little delighted at how Cas just acted. "He's so fucking hot," Dean whispers to himself.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas sits at the large desk in the middle of the library, facing down one of the book isles. Gabe sits next to him, drawing while Cas takes notes.

"Do you think I could proposition the librarian to have sex with me?" Gabe whispers.

Cas glances up at Ms. Krip, working behind the reception desk, "She's fifty-three Gabe," Cas reminds him.

"That's thirty-five years of sexual experience," Gabe defends.

Cas shakes his head, "You're disgusting," he says and Gabe chuckles proudly.

Cas looks over to see what Gabe was drawing this entire time. He picks up the piece of paper, "What is _wrong_ with you?" He asks.

Gabe looks hurt, "What?" He asks. "Everyone likes boobs." Cas rolls his eyes, "Well, present company excluded."

"You're like a dog in heat," he comments, dropping the paper.

"Yeah, yeah," Gabe dismisses, "Like you can talk Mr. My-boyfriend-treats-me-like-shit-yet-I-still-sprea d-my-legs-for-him-every-chance-I-get."

"Don't call him that," Cas requests, returning his eyes to his textbook.

"Touchy?" Gabe asks with a smile on his face.

Cas shakes his head, "Don't you have a librarian to seduce?" He asks.

"Fine, I know when I'm not wanted," Gabe sighs and collects his things, "I'm out – stay excellent."

Cas spends the next hour highlighting and writing down important points. He's working hard when someone leans over and picks something up from his desk. He looks up to see Dean standing across from him with a piece of paper and a crease in his brow. Cas scans the surroundings but Dean's alone. Cas has never seen him without his friends. Well, outside the bedroom anyway.

Dean grins and looks at Cas, "Is this some kind of suppressed, sexual frustration thing I don't know about?" He raises his eyebrows.

Cas looks confused until he realises what Dean must be holding, "Oh," he dismisses, "that's Gabe's."

Dean makes an approving face, "I thought that guy was gay," he says as he drops the paper back on the desk.

"And I always thought _you_ were straight," Cas mutters under his breath. Dean glares at him, "What are you doing here?" Cas asks, "Aren't you afraid of talking to me in public? Your friends might see and think you're queer," Cas quips bitterly.

Dean doesn't look offended and it annoys Cas, "Like _they_ would ever come to a library," he points out simply.

"Someone might pass it on," he says, returning his eyes to his textbook.

"In that case… I probably shouldn't let them see this," Dean backs away into the book isle behind him. Cas watches curiously as he slides his hand down and cups himself, showing Cas that there's something hard under the denim. He runs his tongue over his lip and makes a kissing gesture. Cas smiles and shakes his head.

He watches Dean take out his phone and dial something. Next thing he knows, his phone vibrates.

**Dean: Am I distracting you?**

_Cas: Is that why you're here?_

**Dean: No, but it's a plus.**

_Cas: Then, why are you here?_

**Dean: Uh, usually… people come to libraries to read books.**

_Cas: Really? I had no idea, I've been coming for the scenery… How weird._

**Dean: As weird as you drawing pictures of boobs?**

Cas glares in Dean's direction and he's smiling smugly. Cas shakes his head and forgets where he is for a moment, "Prick," he says with more volume than he expected. Ms. Krip shushes him and Cas covers his mouth, embarrassed.

A loud cackle comes from the isle across from him and he looks up to see Dean covering his mouth, trying to hold in the laughter. The librarian shushes him too.

**Dean: You're kind of funny.**

_Cas: Thanks – you _are_ distracting._

**Dean: Wait until later... I'll fuck you so hard that you won't be able to walk.**

Cas can't help but bite his lip as Dean's words make his groin twitch delightfully. Cas keeps his cool.

_Cas: Who says I'm going to let you?_

Cas expects a look of disappointment but Dean smirks.

**Dean: Well, if you're anxious, I can just do you here… I don't think anyone will see me under the table.**

_Cas: What would your friends think?_

**Dean: To hell with them.**

_Cas: Are you drunk?_

**Dean: I'm **_**really **_**horny.**

Dean's smiling at Cas impishly as Cas reads the message. He blushes.

_Cas: Prove it._

Cas watches Dean closely as he reads the message and a wicked grin appears on his face. He looks around him before undoing his pants and showing Cas his harden member, a smug grin on his face.

Cas smiles and looks down, blushing. He bites his lip as Dean does up his pants.

Cas stands and gives a sideways nod, gesturing for Dean to follow him. He heads down the back to the far corner of the library. He glances over his shoulder to see Dean trailing behind him, checking over his shoulder frantically. Cas slips into the dusty, old filing room that no one ever uses. A few moments later, Dean slips inside too. Cas quickly locks the door and turns to face Dean, who's smiling.

"You can get arrested for that," Cas informs him.

Dean smirks, "Does that turn you on?" He asks, taking a deliberate step towards him.

Cas raises an eyebrows, "If I said yes, would you break the law more often?" He inquires.

Dean takes another step and bites his lip, "Fuck yes I would," he breathes before launching at Cas, forcing their lips together and impatiently parting them.

Cas swiftly turns to press Dean against the door. He moves his lips in sync with Dean as he undoes his belt and zip. Cas slides his hand into his lover's pants and palms his hardness. Dean moans into Cas' mouth.

"Do you always seduce guys in libraries?" Dean whispers, a true concern beneath his question.

Cas chuckles against Dean's mouth, "Of course not," relief fills Dean, "it's usually at national parks," he grins.

Dean shakes his head, "Slut," he says.

Cas winks, "Only for you," he jokes.

Cas feels Dean's cock twitch in his hand and he gives Dean a knowing look. Dean almost looks embarrassed.

Cas kisses his lover again and slips his hand under the fabric of Dean's briefs. Dean groans as he tugs at Cas' hair and directs his ear to his mouth.

"You like being my little slut, Cas?" Dean slurs passionately as he palms Cas' manhood over his jeans.

"Yes, Dean," Cas agrees breathlessly.

Dean laughs, "Prove it."

Cas leans back to smile before instantly sinking to his knees and taking Dean into his mouth.

"Son of a bitch," Dean groans. Cas bobs his head and runs his tongue up and down Dean's shaft.

Dean breathes heavy and rests his hand on the nape of Cas' neck. The way Cas looks up at him, with his member between his lips, makes Dean almost come undone immediately.

"That's it Cas," Dean encourages. "I want you to touch yourself," Cas fumbles over his pants as he frees his member, grabs a hold and instantly begins to please himself. "That feel good, baby?" Cas feels a rush of heat in his body at Dean's use of the word _baby_. He moans appreciatively around Dean.

Cas works Dean up and down, with a rhythm that matches his own. Dean groans softly, muttering things like, 'yeah, that's it'. Every word that falls from his mouth, brings Cas closer to the edge.

"Oh, Cas… I'm getting so close," Cas works his lover harder and faster. Dean feels himself reach the brink of his orgasm, "Oh, fuck, Cas," Dean groans, forcing himself deeper into his lover's mouth as he erupts. The action finally brings Cas to his own climax and he explodes into his own hand.

Cas stands and wipes his mouth. Dean grins and buckles his pants up.

Dean seizes Cas' jaw in between his thumb and fingers, "Thanks for the quickie," he grins before kissing Cas on the cheek, "_babe_," he grins. Dean slips out and Cas stays to gather his breath and chuckles at Dean's goodbye. _At least he's not threatening me anymore_, Cas thinks and then realises how sad that really is.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas eats his lunch by himself. He takes out one of his weekly readings. He's already read it but he feels uncomfortable eating by himself and just staring off into space.

He feels a light tap over the back of his head and the word, "Nerd," being spat at him and then laughter. He doesn't need to look to know it's Dean. Cas rolls his eyes. He realises they've chosen to sit at the table to his right. They start talking immediately. Cas finishes his meal quickly and intends to pack up and hurry away but he hears something strange that makes him postpone packing up just yet.

"So I hooked up with this chick the other day," Dean announces loudly. Cas freezes. Dean sat close to him, he knows Cas is listening, is he purposely trying to be hurtful? This is a whole new low for him.

Cas listens. His friends are encouraging him to tell his story.

"Yeah, I was in the library," this sparks Cas' attention, "and I just kind of winked and grabbed myself to this girl…" Is he… Is Dean talking about Cas? "Next thing I know, she tells me to follow her. She takes me into the back room, gets on her knees and starts sucking me off… hottest fucking experience of my life."

Dean's friends make some crude comments and there's some slight hooting.

Dean eyes Cas out of the corner of his eye. Cas is smirking proudly, even though his eyes are focusing on his textbook. He packs away his things and stands. He looks to Dean who's smiling smugly at him. None of Dean's friends are facing him so he makes a subtle kissing gesture. Dean smiles bigger and bites his lip. Cas turns and leaves the cafeteria, a satisfied grin on his face.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_


	5. Chapter 5

**Almost had my laptop crash and almost lost all my progress, but, luckily, I've got mad technology skills. And by that, I mean google. **

**Enjoy. **

"Can you help me with this?" Gabe asks, pointing to a previously highlighted section of the criteria sheet.

Cas scoots over on the grass to have a closer look. Their assessments are both due in only a few hours and Gabe wanted Cas' opinion on a few things. Cas quickly scans the section, he's already read it a million times, "Which part are you having trouble with?"

"This part," he points to the first sentence, "that guy-,"

"Our professor?" Cas corrects.

"Yeah," Gabe says quickly, "he said we only need one example but here it says 'Student has used accurate and proficient examples'… exam-pulzzzz… plural."

Cas shakes his head, "Don't worry about that… we're supposed to use _at least _one example… you can use more if it's necessary to emphasise your point but one is fine."

"Oh, thank god," Gabe sighs, "I don't have it in me to make another one up."

Cas chuckles.

"Cas?" Someone calls and Cas turns to see a familiar face heading towards him.

"Balthazar?" Cas asks, jumping up to meet the guy. "Hey, man." He enthuses.

Balthazar looks delighted, "Hey!" He cries, pulling Cas in for a friendly hug. When he's done, he pulls back to look at Cas from arm's length. "You look great! It's been ages!"

"Yeah," Cas agrees, smiling warmly. He notices the backpack slung over Balthazar's shoulder, "What're you doing here?"

"I just transferred," he explains, nodding, "yeah, well… you know my mum's still a bit sick and the nursing home nearby is a lot better… equipped so…" he shrugs, "here I am."

Cas nods awkwardly and hugs his own arms, "I'm sorry to hear about your mum," he says.

Balthazar shrugs, "Don't worry," he says quickly, "She's gotten a lot better since… well, you know."

Cas smiles, "That's good," he says.

A moment of awkward silence passes, "Hey, umm… I gotta go, I have a class but… do you wanna catch up later? Get a drink or something?"

Cas looks into Balthazar's eager eyes and deliberates, "Umm," he begins awkwardly. He can't help it when his mind drifts instantly to Dean and he silently wonders what he would think but he dismisses the notion. It's been weeks since their little library experience and their encounters have grown even more frequent. Still, apart from Dean staying the night that one time, nothing about their relationship implies that it's anything more than sex and Cas knows that. Even so, Cas has to say no. He knows that starting things up with Balthazar again is a bad idea. _It has _nothing_ to do with Dean_, he tells himself. "I don't know, Balth…" Cas begins, "it's, uhh…"

Balthazar shakes his head, "Just as friends, Cas," he amends and then smiles, "not a date."

Cas smiles to cover his discomfort, he's never been good with this stuff. He feels embarrassed for misreading Balthazar's intentions.

"Yeah," he nods, "sure… Uhh, there's a restaurant bar – the Roadhouse… just off campus, I've got some stuff to do tonight but I'm free tomorrow."

"Great," Balthazar smiles before patting Cas on the shoulder affectionately and heading on his way.

Cas turns back to sit with Gabe, who's looking at him curiously, "Who was that?" He asks.

Cas shrugs, "A friend from high school," he explains.

"Looks like more than a friend," He hints, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Cas shakes it off but doesn't respond, "Well?"

Cas sighs, "Yeah," he agrees without looking at Gabe, "we dated for, like, four months or something."

"And did you…?"

Cas frowns, "No, I didn't sleep with him," he admits. "Balthazar was my boyfriend in senior year and my first real one… But, um… he's a year older than me and, uhh… wanted to… but I, uhh… wasn't ready."

Gabe's face lights up, "Is he the one who was totally in love with you?"

Cas bites his lip and sighs, "Yeah, I think so."

"What happened?"

Cas shrugs, "He got a bit too attached and I wanted out."

"I guess he's not bitter about you dumping him," he observes.

"He was really understanding about it," Cas replies, "since it was my first relationship and all."

"Longest relationship?"

Cas nods, "Yeah, but… mainly because I was nervous about breaking it off… we're gonna catch up tomorrow night."

"Rekindling?"

Cas shakes his head, "No, nothing like that."

"Wouldn't hurt you Cas," he says, "you should go for it."

Cas bites his lip, "I'm not interested."

"Not interested or not available?"

Cas looks gravely at his friend, "Not _interested_," he emphasises.

Gabe puts his hands up in defence, "Me thinks thou doth protest too much."

"Please don't quote Shakespeare," Cas pleads, "my love life's in enough turmoil without that reminder."

"Isn't there a Balthazar in Romeo and Juliet?"

Cas freezes, trying to recall his knowledge. _Damn it,_ he thinks. Gabe's right.

"Shut up," he mutters.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Dean watches Cas stroll down the path, on his way home from his late night. Cas doesn't notice Dean because he's staring at his smart phone but Dean's not bothered. He's too busy enjoying the view of Cas' perfect, tight ass through his skin tight jeans. Dean doesn't realise that he's smiling at the sight. He forgets where he is and lets himself stare.

"Hey," Dean's friend says, breaking his concentration. Dean composes his faraway expression. "There's that kid," he says. Dean swallows. It's been a few weeks since he's been around his friends and Cas has been nearby. He's been purposely avoiding places like this, where he knows Cas passes through but he'd slipped up tonight. He's almost forgotten how he's supposed to act.

Dean's friend tries to stand, as if to head over and Dean acts on instinct, he doesn't even think about it. He seizes his friend by the back of his shirt and pulls him back on the bench, "No," Dean growls.

The friend looks startled and Dean knows that he's not backing out now, "What?"

Dean shoots daggers at him, "I said no," he warns.

He frowns, "Why not?"

"Just…" Dean begins but he doesn't have a good explanation, "don't."

Dean's friend doesn't question him and Cas walks home unharmed.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas sits in the computer lab, staring at a computer screen. He'd hoped it would help him focus better by moving location since he can't distract himself here but it doesn't make the document more interesting. He forces himself to focus but he's been staring at the computer screen too long. He won't allow himself to go to bed until he's finished, that'll be his motivation. Only two other guys are in the computer lab tonight but they're both sitting at the first bench, clearly working on some group assignment together. Cas sits all the way at the back, he doesn't like having his back to anyone.

He feels his phone vibrate and quickly checks it.

**Dean: your room, ten minutes?**

_Great, _Cas thinks, _another excuse to ditch the work and go home_. He thinks of Gabe and summons extra willpower.

_Cas: Can't. Studying in the computer lab._

**Dean: Snore! Come get some.**

Cas chuckles to himself.

_Cas: No, Dean… I have to finish this._

**Dean: Party pooper.**

Cas smiles but doesn't reply and tries to focus. Now that he knows Dean wants him, he suddenly finds extra motivation.

Cas works harder but his concentration is broken by the opening of the computer lab door. He looks up and his heart sinks at the look of the familiar green eyes and hard physique. Dean's wearing a cheeky grin and Cas can't wipe off his own. He shakes his head at him. Dean casually enters and walks up the aisle, stopping to shake hands and exchange a casual greeting to one of the guys in the front row. Cas thinks his name is Ash or Andrew or something.

Dean heads straight to the back row but sits at the bench adjacent to Cas'.

Dean sits on a roller chair, forcing it to scoot back. He doesn't really place himself in front of a computer but, rather, faces Cas. He's still wearing his impish grin. Cas tries to ignore him but he can't keep the smile away.

Dean pushes himself on the chair so that it rolls until it collides with Cas' gently. With the computers forming a wall, he feels safe to get this close.

Dean leans in to whisper in Cas' ear, "If we were alone right now, I'd fuck your brains out."

Cas smiles mischievously, getting an idea. He turns to face Dean.

"Really?" He asks.

Dean nods, "Absolutely," he grins.

Cas smiles, "I think you should do it anyway," he suggests.

Dean looks disarmed, "What?" He stutters.

Cas turns on his best bedroom eyes and remembers to move his lips slowly, emphasising them for Dean. It works because Dean's eyes never leave his mouth as he speaks, "Fuck me," he dares.

Dean looks a little lost at Cas' totally serious and expectant expression, "I can't," Dean trembles.

Cas just smiles again and leans in even closer, "Dean," he addresses seriously, "either you fuck me – here and now… or I'll _never_ let you again."

Dean evaluates Cas' expression, trying to judge if he's serious or not. Dean has no doubt in his mind that Cas is serious. He looks at the two guys in the front row. He wants Cas more than he ever has. It's not about never getting to have him again – although, that's terrible in itself. No, what's got Dean on the verge of bending Cas over and having his way with him, no matter who's watching, is Cas' behaviour. This strange, demanding, take-charge attitude is stirring an unbelievable surge of sensual emotion in Dean. Like the time he jerked him off but wouldn't let Dean come home with him. The smug, almost irritating look on his secret lover's face is enough to send sexual vibrations throughout his entire body.

Dean can't take it – he has to have him. Dean will do whatever he can to have Cas alone. He has to do what he can and, as everyone knows, Dean can do a lot.

Dean moves swiftly as he launches at Cas, seizes the front of his t-shirt and pins him to the nearest wall. He lifts Cas a few inches off his feet. The sound has clearly drawn attention which is what Dean had hoped for. Cas looks utterly betrayed, like always. Dean hates that look, it turns his stomach but he knows that it's not the look that makes him want to hurl, it's himself. He's glad that he can surprise him this time.

Dean keeps his eyes on Cas' face, "Get out of here!" He growls at the rest of them. No one moves. Dean turns his furious glare on the two staring, dumbstruck people in the room. "Now!" He yells.

The two scatter, obviously terrified of falling victim to his wrath.

It's good to be Dean Winchester.

Ash doesn't leave, "Dean," he begins, "c'mon man… don't do this," he pleads, "don't be a dick."

Cas thinks he sees a look of hurt on Dean's face but it evaporates too quickly, "Fuck off, Ash!" He snaps, "And lock the door behind you."

Ash hesitates but does what he's told. Everyone listens to Dean.

When Dean hears the door lock, he drops Cas to his feet. He grins down at his frowning lover.

"I hate it when you do that," Cas says quickly.

Dean shrugs, "we're alone," he points out, "and you were threatening celibacy, I had no choice."

Cas breaks a smiles and shakes his head, "I hate you," he sighs.

Dean only smiles as he moves in to press his lips against Cas'. He runs a hand through Cas' hair and opens his mouth against his lips.

Dean's brow forms a crease of concentration, "Forgive me?" He breathes sincerely, between passionate kisses.

Cas slows and looks up at Dean. There's genuine concern in his eyes. It does things to Cas that he wants to deny. Dean actually wants his forgiveness. He wants something more meaningful from him than sex. It's like a rare glimpse into inner Dean, whatever it is that he hides with his tough guy façade.

Cas is a slave to that plea, a slave to Dean. He nods, "Yeah," he whispers, "yeah, I do."

Dean can't help himself when he hears the words. He lifts Cas and practically slams him into the wall with his body and crushes their lips together hard. Cas wraps his legs around Dean's waist and pulls his head back by his hair to eagerly devour his mouth.

Dean lets Cas touch the ground to tug off his shirt. Dean immediately presses his lips against his lover's neck. He opens his mouth to taste and nibble at Cas' skin. Cas' hot, rigid breath in his ear spurs Dean on and he starts to run his mouth down his chest. Dean's hands grasp at Cas' waist as he drags his lips down the boys stomach and sinks to his knees. He nibbles and sucks at Cas' hipbones, tugging at his skin with his teeth. Cas softly moans and runs a hand through Dean's hair.

Dean stops and leans back on his heels, "Take it out," he directs. Cas smiles and obeys. Dean smiles up at his lover before guiding his lips over Cas' member. He starts off slow, tantalizing him. Dean picks up the pace, impatient to hear more desperate moans from Cas.

Cas lets Dean pleasure him for a long time before he pulls him off and sinks to his knees, meeting Dean's height. He pulls him in for a delicate kiss. Unable to take it any longer, Dean pulls Cas up and turns him so that he's lying with his back to the floor. Dean crushes their lips together and grinds his groin into Cas. A little too eagerly, he tugs at Cas' jeans so that they're halfway down his thighs. Unable to help himself, Dean slicks his finger with his saliva and slips a digit into Cas. Cas gasps. He quickly wraps his lips around his lover's members again and begins sucking and licking. He slips another finger into Cas and starts moving his hand in and out of Cas as fast as he can. Cas stifles dark and lustful moans.

"Dean," he warns, "If you keep going, I'm gonna come."

Dean purposely presses his fingers against Cas' sweet spot before removing them. He chuckles as he pulls Cas' pants off entirely and places himself between his legs. He quickly slicks himself and forces his way into Cas. Cas groans appreciatively.

"Move Dean," Cas says immediately.

Dean earnestly begins thrusting against him. Every time he slams into Cas, he's rewarded with a loud moan.

"Faster, Dean," Cas begs and Dean moves even faster. Cas' flushed face and slightly burrowed brow of concentration almost pushes Dean over the edge. He slows down his rhythm for fear of climaxing too quickly.

He reaches over to clash their lips together again. Dean picks up his pace again.

A loud knock interrupts them and Dean's stomach drops.

"Hello?" A fierce voice yells.

"Shit!" Dean cries.

Cas seizes the front of Dean's shirt and stops him from pulling away, "Dean," he says seriously, "don't you _dare_ stop!"

Dean looks utterly crazed, "What?" He cries, "Cas!" Another loud knock comes.

"Dean!" Cas yells again, "Don't stop."

Dean can't resist. The desperate, pleading look in Cas' eyes makes him crazy, "Damn it," he curses before pounding into Cas again, moving faster than before, desperate to get off as quick as he can.

Another knock comes and inaudible yelling is on the other side. He furiously thrusts into Cas. Cas is biting on his lip so hard to hold back his moans that he wonders if he'll soon draw blood.

Dean's on the verge. As much as he wants it to finish, he can't let himself go before Cas.

"Come, Cas!" Dean demands and it sends his lover over the edge.

Cas erupts, involuntarily clenching around Dean and provoking his orgasm. Dean forgets about the knocking for a moment as he rides it out. When he comes back down to earth, he quickly pulls out and starts dressing.

Cas does the same.

"Who's in there?" The voice calls again, "If there is anyone in there, it is illegal to lock a room on school grounds containing valuable property."

"Shit, what're we gonna do?" Dean asks desperately.

Cas rolls his eyes, "No faith," he says as he stands, now fully dressed, and digs into his laptop bag. He pulls out some white cords.

Cas moves comfortably, despite the terrifying knocking at the door.

Cas hurries to the computer at the front – the only other one still on. He inserts the headphones into the computer and orders Dean to sit and put them in. Trusting, Dean obeys. Cas pulls his iPod out of his bag and wraps his large headphones around his neck and heads to the door. He opens it and stares curiously at the furious guard on the other side.

"What's going on?" He demands.

Cas fakes alarm, "We're… studying," he says. Cas opens the door wider to show the guard, who peers in to look at Dean.

He seems appeased by the earphones in the boy's ears.

He turns his scowl to Cas, "Do you know it's against school rules to lock computer lab doors?"

Cas pouts, "No, I didn't," he says but then frowns, "but I didn't realise this door was locked… sorry sir."

The guard looks a little disarmed, "Well, now you know," he says and then waves a stubby finger in Cas' face, "keep it open."

Cas nods obediently, "Of course."

He turns his smile to Dean, "You are disturbingly good at lying," he points out.

"Surprised?" Cas asks.

"A little turned on," he says, causing Cas to laugh.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Dean and Sam walk towards the Roadhouse. It'd become a tradition of theirs to grab some food and a few drinks at least once a week. Dean's way of looking out for Sam and Sam's way of making sure Dean's flying right.

They head inside and grab their usual table and order.

"So," Dean begins, "how's things?"

Sam shrugs and sips his beer, courtesy of Dean's fake ID, "Can't complain," he says, "Kevin's driving me crazy, though."

"Yeah?" He responds, "What's short round up to?"

"He's like a rat in a cage," Sam says, "since he took on that extra class, he sleeps a few hours a day and works the rest of it… Hard to sleep when your roommate's computer screen is constantly lighting the room an eerie blue."

Dean chuckles, "Maybe you should get out more," he says.

"Maybe _you_ should stay in more," Sam retorts, "how are your studies going by the way?"

Dean shrugs, "Okay," he lies. He can't face the thought of telling Sam he's failing a class.

They exchange chit chat about Bobby and a girl named Jessica sparking Sam's interest while they eat. They talk for an extra hour over after dinner drinks. They often lose track of time when they catch up – even though they do it every week.

Dean's eyes fall on the door as a blue eyed brunette enters. He gives him a subtle smile that's reciprocated before Dean's eyes fall on the guy following him. Some blonde guy follows Cas in and the two of them pull up two stools to the bar and order drinks. He doesn't like the way the blonde guy's face lights up when Cas speaks and he hates the way he cackles at the intimate jokes they're probably sharing. Cas doesn't chuckle quite as hysterically but he does laugh comfortably. Dean can't even begin to believe how beautiful Cas looks with that carefree happiness on his face. He hates that the blonde boy is causing it.

He tries to compose himself and focus on Sam but he keeps an eye on Cas out of the corner of his eye. The blonde boy grazes Cas' shoulder with his hand in a friendly gesture. Dean tightens his grip on his beer bottle.

Sam almost makes an attempt to leave a few times but Dean always suggests other round, desperate to keep a watch out.

Dean finally catches Cas' eye and he gives him a look. Cas appears to roll his eyes before he excuses himself, stands and heads towards the bathroom. Dean waits a few seconds before making an excuse and following him.

Dean is hot on Cas' tail, who appears oblivious.

Dean sneaks up behind him and, as soon as they enter the bathroom, seizes Cas by the arm and pulls him into one of the stalls. He locks the door and turns them both so that Cas' back faces the door and he faces Cas. Cas is wearing a curious frown.

"Who the hell is that?" Dean demands.

Cas looks taken aback, "A friend," he says, like it's obvious.

Dean bites his lip and inhales, "Are you on a _date_?"

Cas smirks and his eyebrows crease incredulously, "What's it to you?"

Dean heaves angrily and clenches his jaw, "Cas," he says seriously, demanding an answer.

Cas looks suspicious and amused, "Dean Winchester… Are you jealous?"

Dean wipes his mouth in a frustrated gesture. He grinds his teeth, "No," he refuses.

"Really?" Cas inquires, "Then is cornering people in bathroom stalls a hobby of yours?"

Dean heaves angrily again, "I'm _not_ jealous," he assures.

"Who you trying to convince, Dean?" Cas smiles smugly.

Cas jumps in his skin when Dean snatches him by the front of his shirt and shoves their bodies together.

"You know what, Cas?" Dean whispers against his mouth, "I don't like the thought of anyone else _fucking_ you but me."

Cas smiles, despite the death grip Dean has on him, "So you are jealous."

Dean doesn't have an answer. Well, he does but even he knows it's stupid. Even so, he can't help but say it. "In the bedroom, Cas… you are mine." Dean growls.

Cas has a dark twinkle in his eye, "Am I?" He asks.

In an instant, Dean pins Cas to the wall with his lips. The heat of Dean's anger is incredible. An unbelievable surge of arousal starts at Cas' groin and runs throughout his entire body. Dean briefly breaks, "Yes," he whispers before roughly turning Cas.

Cas lets out an embarrassing groan of surprise and pleasure. Dean practically rips his pants open and pulls them down. Cas gasps but doesn't stop him, because he can't, his body won't let him. He aches for Dean, he needs him and he doesn't care how it happens. Dean's rough, frantic actions turn him on in a way he could never imagine. He's never wanted Dean more.

Dean's hand presses against Cas' back to hold him in place. Cas tingles excitedly as he hears Dean's belt clink as he unbuckles it.

Dean holds his hand out under Cas' chin, "Spit," he demands. Cas obliges.

Dean quickly coats himself, feeling his groin twitch in anticipation.

His hard breath is in Cas' ear, "You are not allowed to come," he whispers harshly.

Cas stifles a moan at the demand.

Dean forces his way in so that he's buried as deep within Cas as he can be. Cas stifles a painful groan and Dean can see his fists tense.

Dean gives Cas a second to relax before he starts to thrust. He doesn't start off slow but slams into him as hard and as fast as he can. He hears a gasp escape Cas' lips. He doesn't have time to be gentle, someone could walk in at any moment and he wants to finish this. He _needs_ to finish this.

He pounds into his lover, quick and rough. He feels himself start to build almost instantly and, for once, he welcomes his quick draw. Cas always seems to have that effect on him, even more now. He pounds Cas into the door furiously.

Cas bites down on his lip to stop himself from groaning. He also hopes the pain will stop him from coming.

He can hear Dean's rigid breath in his ear, quietly groaning and heaving. It doesn't help him concentrate on holding himself back.

"Dean I'm-," Cas warns but Dean stops moving instantly.

Dean pulls Cas off the wall and grabs a hold of his hard member. He grips Cas by the hair and yanks his head back. Cas gasps.

"Say it," Dean demands heatedly.

Cas heaves. He almost spits it out immediately but he holds back. He doesn't want Dean to know how desperate he is to say it and, not just because he's desperate for Dean to continue.

"I'm yours," he whispers.

Dean forces Cas' lips against his in a quick, hard kiss before letting go to grab hold of his hip. Cas presses his palms against the door of the bathroom stall as Dean launches back into his frenzied rhythm. He rapidly tugs at Cas' manhood until Cas' body tenses and he knows he's on the verge. Dean feels safe to let himself go and he erupts into his lover. Dean's orgasm tips Cas' over the edge. Cas can't supress the groan that comes from deep within his throat as he climaxes.

When Dean pulls out of him, Cas quickly does his pants up. He has no idea how much time has passed. He looks to Dean and can't help the slightly blushed smile. Dean responds with half of one.

"What're you gonna tell your boyfriend?" Dean demands with a mix of bitterness and amusement in his tone.

Cas licks his lips and smiles, "It's not a date, Dean," he tells him, "he's a friend."

Dean tries to hide the smile but Cas sees it. He leans over to give Cas a quick kiss that almost misses his mouth, "Good," he says softly before leaving the bathroom.

"You took your time," Sam observes and Dean shrugs his shoulders.

"You think it's an accident that I look this good all the time?" He smirks.

Sam shakes his head.

Dean watches out of the corner of his eyes as Cas heads back to his friend. He smiles as Cas has to gingerly ease himself onto the seat.

Cas' friend smiles at his arrival and Dean glares. The boy looks to him but the eye contact is so quick that Dean wonders if he imagined it.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Dean starts catching glimpses of Cas' boyfriend. As assured as Cas made him feel, he can't help but not like the look of the blonde kid he's now hanging out with. Dean used to only see Cas hanging out with Gabriel. Now, the duo had turned into a trio and Dean doesn't like that. Even if they are only friends, why are they suddenly around each other all the time? Do they go to the Roadhouse and drink together? Has the guy ever made a move on Cas? Would Cas reject him if he did? It's not like he has any ties to Dean. Even worse, it's not like Dean has done anything to make Cas _want_ to have any ties to him. What if something _does_ happen and Cas decides he doesn't want Dean anymore. Dean doesn't know what he'd do if Cas denied him access to his bed. Dean doesn't want to think about it.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

"So," Dean begins, buckling his pants, "that guy from the other night… you sure that's not a date thing?"

Cas exhales humorously as he pulls on his sweatpants and collapses face first onto his bed, "It's nothing," he dismisses.

"Well, it seemed…"

"It's nothing!" Cas groans into the pillow.

Dean almost laughs, "Is he gay?"

Cas frowns and pulls his face out of the pillow to glare at him, "What does that matter?" He asks, "If someone asked me that about _you_, I'd say no."

Dean purses his lips, "Touche'," is all he says. Cas collapses back onto the pillow, ready for sleep but Dean can't let it go, "It's just, I've never seen him before... who is he?"

Cas groans before turning onto his back, "He's just a guy I dated in high school."

Dean freezes, "What?" He demands, "You _dated_ him? Why didn't you tell me?"

Cas just frowns up at him, "It wasn't your concern."

"Did you sleep with him?" Dean demands, his voice a little high in outrage.

Cas props himself up on his elbows, "Not that it's your business but no." He says with venom in his tone.

"Not my business?" Dean repeats in outrage, "How is it not my business?"

"I'm sorry…" Cas says sarcastically as he sits up and swings his legs over so that he's sitting on the edge of his bed, "are you my boyfriend? Maybe I didn't get the memo."

"C'mon Cas…" Dean begins, his voice softer than before but still reeking of frustration, "you know what I mean."

"No, Dean" Cas yells, standing to emphasise his irritation, "You have no right… Like you're innocent? God knows how many girls you've slept with…" Cas can't help but gesture emphatically in anger, "I couldn't even tell you the last time you slept with someone else… could be last night for all I know!" Cas throws his arms up in exasperation.

"C'mon Cas…" Dean tries to defuse him but he knows he's right, "you know…"

"Know what, Dean?" Cas demands, his voice hot with fury.

"You know that…" Dean begins, clenching his teeth. He breathes deeply, "It's not like that," he adds quietly.

"No, Dean… I honestly don't," Cas breathes, his hands on his hips as he shuffles his position tensely, "What exactly am I supposed to know?" Dean's impassive expression infuriates Cas and his outburst comes without warning or Cas' consent, "We fuck, Dean… that's all I know… God knows what you're doing when you're not with me."

"Cas… it's…" Dean tries to soothe.

"It's what Dean?" Cas yells, facing Dean and finally stopping his edgy movements, "C'mon… spit it out!"

"It's more than that!" Dean yells back, finally snapping, "We're more than that!"

"Are we?" Cas questions doubtfully.

Dean stares at Cas' demanding expression and he doesn't know how to answer so he yells back the first thing he can think of, "Why are you yelling at me?"

Cas doesn't miss a beat, "Because you're frustrating!" He cries.

Cas fumes and neither of them speak. The only thing breaking the silence is Cas' heavy breathing.

They stand there for a long time before Dean speaks.

"Do you…" He begins reluctantly, "Not think…"

Cas frowns, "Not think what?"

Dean meshes his lips together and avoids looking at Cas, "Not think that we're…" Dean pauses and then sighs, "more… than that."

"Dean," Cas demands but Dean is staring at his feet with his hands in his pockets, "Dean, look at me!" Dean begrudgingly looks at Cas. "What are you asking me?"

Dean presses his lips together to form a hard line, "Am I…" he starts but then has doubts, "Are we…" he tries again and fails, "do you think…" Dean clears his throat and swallows. He closes his eyes and has to pretend he's somewhere else to get the words out, "are you only with me for the sex, Cas?" He blurts it out like he can't control the haste of his tongue.

A moment passes, "You're asking _me_?"

Dean keeps his eyes on his feet, "Yes," he says, even though, as Cas needn't point out, it's not fair.

Cas deliberates and crosses his arms. He doesn't look at Dean, "You, first."

Dean swallows and the silence hangs in the air for a long time. Dean finally answers, "No," he says, "I'm not."

Cas taps his finger against his arm nervously and lets a moment of silence pass, "Me too."

Dean nods uncomfortably, "Good," he clears his throat, "I, uhh… should go."

Cas just nods and Dean gives him a quick glance before leaving. Cas exhales a mouthful of air and runs a hand through his hair.

Before he understands what's happening, Dean bursts back into his room, quickly covers the distance between them and pulls Cas in and crushes their lips together. Dean cups his lover's face and leisurely deepens their kiss.

Dean pulls away to look at Cas, "Seeya," he whispers. He pulls him in for one more, soft kiss before letting him go.

Cas snags Dean by the back of his jacket and pulls him back for another, deep kiss. Despite how tired he is, Cas can't let him walk out after what just happened. He drags Dean over to the bed and pulls him on top of him, unwilling to let him go.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews, they're always colourful and hilarious.**

**Enjoy.**

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

"Dean," Cas begins softly from his post on his bed. "When you came over that one time in the middle of the day… you were… upset… how come?" It's the first night Dean has willingly spent the whole night in Cas' room. He'll have to leave before the sun rises but, for now, Cas enjoys it. They'd done anything but sleep. Dean sits at Cas' desk, shirtless, and with his feet up. They'd just spent the last hour talking about Dean's little brother, Sammy. Dean had Cas in stitches over some anecdote about when they were kids and Sam would correct Dean's homework.

Dean laughs uncomfortably, "Oh, it was something stupid."

Cas stands and wanders over to Dean, "Tell me," he implores.

Dean leans back and tugs at Cas' pants, "You look so good in your sweats and nerd glasses."

"Are you calling me a nerd?" Cas asks, faking offence.

Dean smiles, "Yes," he says. He leans into him and presses a gentle kiss against his exposed stomach. He rests his forehead against his lover and closes his eyes. "My sexy, nerdy Angel."

Cas chuckles, "You're changing the subject."

Dean pulls away to look up. He can't say no to those eyes. He exhales and leans back in his chair.

"I'm failing," Dean explains. "I have to get at least a B on my final exam or I'll flunk."

"I didn't realise that you really cared about that," Cas says as he crawls onto Dean's lap. Dean rests his hands on Cas' thighs.

"_I _don't," Dean clarifies, "but Bobby does."

Cas frowns, "Who's Bobby?"

"Ahh, he's a friend of my Dad's… took me and Sammy in when he died," Dean explains.

"I'm sorry," Cas says but Dean shakes his head to dismiss it.

"But he pays for my intuition and stuff… and thinks I'm way smarter than I am… I'm never gonna get a B."

"Why not?"

Dean shrugs, "I'm not smart enough," he admits, like it's obvious.

"That's bullshit, Dean," Cas snaps.

Dean looks horrified, "What?"

"You're full of shit… you're not stupid, you're lazy!"

"I am not! Cas, I failed the first two pieces of assessment."

Cas gets off him, "Yeah? And how many nights have you actually spent studying this Semester?" Dean frowns, he doesn't have an answer.

"Why are you yelling?"

"I mean, have you actually even started studying for this exam that you _need_ a B for?"

Dean swings in the chair and looks down, "I've been busy?"

"Doing what?"

"You," Dean laughs at himself.

Cas rolls his eyes, "_I_ am not an excuse."

Cas seizes Dean's bag and begins searching through it. He pulls out a random textbook, "Is this the one?" He asks.

Dean nods, "Chapters one to six," he recites.

Cas throws him the textbook, "Finish the first chapter before you come see me next... thoroughly."

Dean looks horrified as he thumbs through the book, "That's like twenty pages!"

"You better get started," he says as he crashes onto the bed and pulls out his own book. "Now get out."

"Cas!"

"Dean, read the book or I won't have sex with you!"

"Hard ass," he says before packing up, giving Cas a swift kiss and leaving.

Cas smiles to himself.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

The next night, Dean shows up. Cas just got home and Dean had been waiting for him to finish his class. He finished the chapter Cas assigned him last night before lunchtime and he'd been anxious ever since. As soon as Cas said he couldn't have him, Dean was desperate to have him.

"Okay," Dean says, putting the textbook on Cas' desk, "I'm finished."

Cas picks up the book. He skims over the first chapter, "Okay," he begins and asks Dean a random question.

Dean sits at the desk chair and looks puzzled, "What? Now you're gonna quiz me?"

"Answer the question, Dean," Cas commands.

Dean tries but gets it wrong.

Cas looks at him darkly, "Did you actually read this?"

Dean looks offended, "Yes, of course I did."

"Then try again," Cas encourages. This time, Dean gets it right. "Very good," Cas muses as he slips out of his shoes.

Dean frowns, "What're you doing?"

Cas doesn't answer but sparks up another question. Dean answers right on the first time and Cas removes his socks.

Cas gives him another question and Dean takes three turns to get it right. When he does, Cas takes off his tie. The next one, Dean knows immediately and he's rewarded when Cas takes off his shirt.

"Best teacher _ever_," Dean mutters under his breath. Cas strips off his pants when Dean gets the next one right immediately. When he gets the next one right, Cas starts touching himself. Dean feels his pants grow incredibly tight, "God, Cas," he whispers.

"Answer the next one," Cas begins, "and I'll let you blow me."

Dean licks his lips. The next question, he gets right. Cas walks over and guides Dean's mouth to his member and Dean welcomes it.

Cas pulls away and asks another question.

"What do I get this time?" Dean asks.

Cas smirks, "You get what I give you," he says and his smouldering eyes make Dean even harder. "Now, this one's a hard one."

"Speaking of hard ones," Dean mutters under his breath.

"Dean, you speak out of turn in my classroom and I'll have to enforce corporal punishment."

"Holy shit," Dean whispers as his groin hardens incredibly.

Cas delivers the next question and Dean has to take a minute to answer.

Cas smiles, "Well done, Dean." Cas throws the textbook onto his bed and kneels in front of Dean. He begins to unzip Dean's pants, "You get an A plus," he says before taking Dean in his mouth.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Dean, for once in his life, actually starts to enjoy his studies. Cas gives him homework, tasks and often quizzes him in the hottest ways imaginable. Dean's got it so bad that even just reading from the textbook gives him a hard on. Even better – or worse, Dean can't decide – is that Cas won't let him have him until he's completed his 'studies'. It's the biggest turn on he's ever experienced, especially when Cas gets domineering.

Dean's favourite, so far, was when Cas organised a ten question quiz and gave Dean an allocated reward system. If he got all ten right, he could fuck him but, if he only got one, he had to sit and watch Cas touch himself without doing anything. Dean got all ten right but still asked that Cas torture him a little bit with some of the lower rewards.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

"Your full name is Castiel?" Dean asks, thumbing through the documents on his lover's desk.

Cas smiles, "Yeah, named after the Angel of Thursday… my parents are kind of religious."

"Fitting," Dean mutters under his breath and Cas breathes a smile.

Cas' laptop starts making a ringing noise and Dean reads 'Balthazar Calling' on the screen. He scowls at Cas.

Cas rolls his eyes, "C'mon," he gestures for Dean to get out of his desk chair, "up."

"You're _not_ answering?" Dean asks in disbelief.

Cas gives him a stern look, "He's my friend," he explains.

Dean begrudgingly stands, "Is that supposed to make me feel better about you video chatting with your ex-boyfriend?"

Cas takes his seat and scoots closer to the screen, "Dean, _you_ are in my bedroom and _he_ is requesting a video chat… would you prefer it to be the other way around?"

"I would prefer to punch that little dweeb in the-,"

"Dean," Cas cuts him off, "unless you want him to see you, I would hide."

Dean frowns, "Why?"

"My laptop sees my whole room so, you might have to go if you don't want to be seen."

Dean raises his eyebrows, "Are you trying to get rid of me? You want some privacy with your boyfriend?"

"No," he says quickly, "I want to protect _your _privacy."

Dean half-smiles, "Maybe you don't want Balthazar to know about us."

Cas smiles, "Dean, I would gladly let you blow me in front of him… I just assumed _you_ wouldn't want anyone to know that there's something going on."

Dean grins, "If you say so," he says before crawling under the desk.

"What're you doing?"

"What you wanted," he says, pulling Cas into him and immediately undoing his pants.

"Dean!" Cas cries, laughing and trying to push him off, "No," he says.

Dean stops, "Fine!" He complains, "I'll just hide here."

Cas answers and Balthazar's face appears on his screen.

"Hey, Balth!" Cas greets happily.

"Hey, Cas," he answers, "what's up?"

Cas tenses as he feels Dean's hands start to undo his belt buckle again under the table. Cas bites his lip. He tries to, slyly, push Dean away but he can't, not without making it obvious to Balthazar.

"Uhh, good," Cas says, smiling at his friend, "how are you?"

"Yeah, good," Balthazar responds.

"How's your ma-um," Cas sings awkwardly as he feels Dean's mouth sheath his manhood. He clears his throat uncomfortably.

"Are you okay?" Balthazar asks.

"Yeah," Cas says in a high voice, "yeah," he tries again, "I'm just… getting a cold I think."

Balthazar just nods, "So, I was think of checking this new club out," he begins. Cas just nods because it's all he can do not to throw back his head in ecstasy and beg Dean to move faster. He presses his lips together in a tight line to stop himself from screaming. "It's supposed to be pretty awesome, you wanna check it out?"

"Yeah, sure," Cas answers unevenly. Cas cries out in pain as he feels Dean's teeth purposely scrap against his member. It doesn't hurt as much as it surprises him.

"What's wrong?" Balthazar asks.

"I, uhh," Cas begins, kicking Dean under the table gently, "stubbed my toe," he explains, laughing nervously.

Balthazar frowns but nods, "Oh, ouch."

"Yeah," he agrees shakily. He unknowingly closes his eyes as Dean starts to move faster, running his tongue over his shaft in the unbelievable way he does. Cas can barely control himself.

"So, this club?"

"Yeah," Cas agrees, earning him another nip from Dean. This time, the pain mixes with the unbelievable pleasure and Cas groans loudly.

"Cas?"

"Uhh, I," Cas says rubbing his eyes in frustration, feeling himself start to build and can't believe that he's about to climax right in front of his ex. "I, just… don't feel well," he explains, "Uhh, can we talk la-AH-ter?" Cas asks, his voice shaking as Dean flicks his tongue of his tip.

Balthazar frowns, "Yeah, no problem, buddy," he says, "see ya later."

Cas waves before exiting Balthazar's window. Cas lays back into his chair and groans, "Fuck, Dean," he whispers lustfully with a hint of anger. "That was _not_ funny."

Dean doesn't let Cas escape him. He crawls out from under the desk, pushing Cas out as he does.

Dean replaces his mouth with his hand, "Really?" Dean asks, "Because I'm hard as a rock after that."

Cas groans again, "God, Dean," he begins, "keep going."

"What, Cas?" Dean torments, "I thought you didn't want me to suck you off."

"Dean!" Cas moans, "Please!"

"Are you actually gonna go with him?" He asks.

"I don't know," Cas breathes, tilting his head back into the chair.

"Do you want to?" He asks seriously.

Cas looks at Dean with his hand still bobbing along his shaft, "Do we really have to have this conversation now?"

Dean slows and smiles wickedly, "I can stop if you want."

Cas closes his eyes, "Don't stop."

Dean lets it go, almost, "If he touches you, I'll kill him," he assures Cas.

Cas rolls his eyes, "Dean, please… I need you."

"Tell me, Cas," he pleads with a mischievous smile on his face, "tell me what I wanna hear." He leans over to flick his tongue over.

Cas moans and closes his eyes, "I'm yours, Dean," he says, "you know I am."

Dean smiles before wrapping his lips around Cas again and launching into a furious rhythm.

"Oh, God," Cas groans as Dean aggressively bobs his head along Cas' shaft. "Fuck, Dean… you are _so_ good with your mouth." He can't help himself when he seizes Dean by the hair and forces himself further down his throat as he erupts loudly.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Balthazar stares at the computer screen, watching Cas climax into Dean's mouth. He feels dirty but he doesn't look away. Not after they'd started talking about him. He can't have this. He's not a stalker, he only hacked Cas' webcam to keep an eye on him and make sure he was okay. Cas is so secretive, he doesn't tell Balthazar much about his personal life. Now he knows why. All it took was Cas to answer his video chat for him to gain access. He'd made up the story about the club but now, he knows, he has to go. Now that he knows how it makes this 'Dean' guy feel. Balthazar doesn't like him, he doesn't like _anyone_ touching his Cas.

Balthazar thought he was over him. After all, it took him a whole year and sleeping with a lot of brunette, blue-eyed men to get over him. All it took was seeing Cas again and he knew he was in trouble. He wants Cas back, he _needs_ him back and he'll do whatever he has to in order to get him back. Cas was the love of his life and they belong together, that he knows for sure. This 'Dean' guy doesn't care about him – not like Balthazar does.

Balthazar has to do something, he can't allow this. He quickly saves the video and attaches it to an email and he doesn't even hesitate before clinking send.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

**Sorry it's so short and sorry about the cliff-hanger.**

**I'm sorry, please don't hate me, I love you, friends?**


	7. Chapter 7

Every time Dean sees Cas with Balthazar, a sickly chill runs down his spine. He tries to keep his cool but it's hard. He just _knows _that he has a thing for Cas. Every time he sees them together, he's either touching him or sitting too close for Dean's comfort. Cas is his, no one is allowed to touch him. Dean wonders if Cas condones that sort of behaviour or if it makes him uncomfortable. He hopes that he doesn't secretly enjoy it.

"I've been most impressed with your progress, Mr Winchester," Cas grins down at Dean.

Dean sits with his back leaning against the bed's headboard and Cas straddling his hips. Dean smiles, "Well when you wear your glasses in bed, how can I not learn?" Dean loves those glasses. He's happy for Cas to believe that Dean may have some kind of kinky fetish with the whole nerd-teacher thing but that's not the reason he loves them – though it may play some part. No, what Dean loves is how they magnify those beautiful, blue eyes. If it's true what they say, that eyes are the windows to the soul, then looking into Cas' soul is like staring at light reflecting off a crystal clear, blue ocean making it seem like the water is embedded with diamonds – so beautiful that it almost hurts your eyes but more inviting than the smell of freshly baked apple pie or his mother's warm embrace.

Cas smiles. That smile. It lights up his face and everything around him like the way lightning strikes and sets fire to the sky. Cas runs his fingers through Dean's hair and collides their lips together in a deep, intimate kiss. As their lips entwine, everything between them that always goes unsaid is said. What Dean refuses to say aloud is spoken when he kisses Cas, when he holds him and the gentle, rare moments when Dean's wall comes down, one brick at a time.

"Hmm," Cas hums against Dean's mouth.

"Let's do it on your desk," Dean suggests between kisses, he can't bring himself to say what he truly wants to say. The words '_make love'_ do not belong on Dean Winchester's lips.

Cas smiles but shakes his head, "I can't, I have to go," he says before sliding off Dean and off the bed to search for some clothes.

Dean frowns and checks his phone, it's already ten at night, where does Cas have to go? More to the point, why does Cas have to leave him?

"Where are you going?" Dean asks and it makes Cas feel as if he's leaving his new born puppy at home.

He smiles, "Out," he says, "remember? Balthazar asked me to go to that club."

Dean groans, "Great," he says sarcastically, "I didn't need to sleep tonight," he mutters under his breath.

Cas frowns, "What does that mean?"

Dean shakes his head, "Do you really have to go out with that dick-hole?"

"I'm his friend," Cas repeats, even though he's quite sick of saying this, "I told him I would… I'm gonna help him pick up," Cas grins but Dean looks horrified. Cas rolls his eyes, "Other people Dean," he clarifies.

"I don't like it," Dean responds.

Cas sighs, "I know… your jealousy knows no bounds."

Dean resents the truth, "I'm not jealous."

"Sure you're not." Cas grins. Actually, something about Dean being jealous makes him almost giddy.

Dean swings his legs over the bed, "Cas… you'll get eaten alive… I want to…"

"Protect me?" Cas asks as he pulls his jeans on.

Dean looks down and purses his lips thoughtfully, "Yes," he answers begrudgingly.

Cas chuckles, "It's a gay bar Dean, I'll be fine."

"Even worse!" Dean yells, "Have guys swarming all over you."

"Dean, if you're that worried, by all means, come with me," Cas wanders over to cup Dean's chin and bring him in for a tender kiss.

Dean frowns, "Is that a genuine invite?" He asks hopefully.

Cas smiles, "Of course… I might actually get to show you off for once."

Dean grins widely, Cas' eyes look hopeful. He sighs, "I can't…" he says.

Cas looks disappointed but he hides it, "I know," he says before he kisses Dean and continues getting dressed.

Dean stands and wraps his arms around Cas' waist, hugs him from behind and kisses his shoulder, "Just call me when you're finished and I'll come get you."

"Dean, that's not necessary…" Cas begins.

"Please Cas… I'll feel better when I've gotten you home safe." He buries his face behind Cas' shoulder so he doesn't have to look into his eyes during his confession. Cas pulls away and turns and places a kiss on Dean's cheek. How strange is it that Dean is concerned? He's never really had that before. He's had unconcerned boyfriends, overbearing boyfriends but never like this. Dean's so reluctant to express any matter of feeling and yet, here he is, wanting to keep him safe. Strange.

"Gabriel will be there," Cas explains.

Dean half-heartedly smiles, "That's oddly comforting."

Cas smiles, "I'll call you later," he promises.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Dean passes the time studying up on his textbook for Cas' next quiz. It's almost twelve and he would consider sleeping if he wasn't so stressed over Cas being out. He suddenly feels like a fifties housewife, waiting for her husband to return after a night of drinking. Dean's _never_ been on this end of a relationship. _Relationship?!_ Dean thinks. Fuck, he's really got it bad.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas feels uncomfortable in the – the only way to describe it would be – seedy den. He would've considered Balthazar's taste in nightclubs to be a little more… refined. Gabe seems to be enjoying himself, though, as he scopes out the vicinity for women.

Gabe disappears quickly and Cas and Balthazar head straight to the bar to grab drinks. They have a few and start reminiscing about old times. Cas would be uncomfortable but Balthazar doesn't bring up anything intimate and Cas is thankful. Before Cas can stop him, Balthazar buys him shots and then he feels obligated to choke them down. After the third one, Cas has to refuse more. He sticks to whiskey and coke. He's never been a whiskey drinker but the smell reminds him of the first few times he and Dean got together.

A dark haired man asks if he can buy Cas a drink but he has to respectfully decline. He notices Balthazar watching the interaction.

"So, Cas," Balthazar begins, "anyone catching your eye?"

Cas smiles bashfully, "No, not really."

Balthazar forces a concerned frown, "Are you seeing someone?"

Cas bites his lip, "I, uhh…" How does he answer this? _Yes, I am sleeping with someone but I can't tell you who and, even though we're not together, there's no chance in hell I'm touching another person. Not because I feel obligated but because no one else compares…_ No, that won't do. "Sort of," he responds, "but it's not official… he lives out of town." Cas usually doesn't let himself think that way about Dean. He only allows it because he can blame it on the drink for now. Usually, it's too painful to dive deeper into his true feelings; not when Cas has such high doubts about their… relationship. He can't let himself have feelings… not when they'll surely be trampled on when Dean decides he's over it.

Balthazar just nods, "Is it serious?"

_I want it to be, _Cas thinks and then internally curses at himself. "Not really… well, it's early days."

Balthazar just nods, "Do you want to dance?" He asks.

Cas looks to the dance floor and makes a face, the grinding and sweating heaps of men don't exactly make his nether regions quiver. It looks extremely claustrophobic.

"I don't think so… I'm not the dancing type," Cas says.

Balthazar just smiles, "You need more shots," he decides and requests a few more from the bartender. Cas rolls his eyes but lets it happen. It only takes two more this time before he's officially done. It doesn't take much convincing for Balthazar to get him on the dance floor after that.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

More time passes and Dean grows edgier and edgier about Cas' safety. When it hits two and he hasn't heard from Cas, Dean decides to take action. He grabs his keys and heads out. After all, he _was_, technically, invited.

Dean makes it to the club and, as soon as he's inside, his heart sinks. How the hell is he going to find Cas in this crowd? He scopes out the bar and tables but he doesn't see him. He decides to weave himself through the sea of people on the dance floor.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas shuffles around the dance floor awkwardly. It's hard to move in such tight vicinities but at least no one is really going to notice his dancing. Balthazar jumps around like he's having the time of his life. His enthusiasm is kind of contagious.

Balthazar leans in to whisper – or, rather, shout – in Cas' ear.

"Remember when I took you to a place like this when we were dating?" He asks.

The memory comes back to him and Cas nods, "Yeah," he shouts back, "we got kicked out and ended up at that lake by my school."

Balthazar beams at Cas. What Cas had left out was that Balthazar had gotten a little too affectionate and Cas had to say no… that he wasn't ready. He remembers distinctly because Balthazar had driven him straight home after that and was grumpy for the next few days. Cas remembers feeling so guilty about it.

"I'm sorry I was a dick!" Balthazar says and Cas smiles at him.

"It's water under the bridge!" He yells back.

"Maybe if I stopped thinking with my dick… we would have lasted more than a few months!"

This makes Cas uncomfortable. He knows the answer is no. It wasn't Balthazar being too pushy that made him walk away… It was that Balthazar clearly had more feelings for him than he did for Balthazar.

Cas just smiles but doesn't answer because he doesn't want to lie.

"I'm glad we can still be friends!" Balthazar yells.

"Me too!" Cas retorts.

Balthazar smiles and grazes his hand over Cas' hip until it rests on the small on his back possessively. Cas doesn't realise because there's already a million people touching him.

Dean finds Cas and his eyes fall to the hand resting on his back. He can't control himself. He heads straight for him. He latches his hand onto Cas' shoulder and yanks him away from Balthazar.

"Dean?!" He hears Cas question but Dean isn't listening. In one quick, agile movement, Dean throws his elbow into Balthazar's face. He hears a crunch and Balthazar stumbles to the ground, falling into the crowd. He moves towards Balthazar with the intention to hurt him further but something is holding him back. He hears Cas' voice calling his name and he's vaguely aware that he's being pulled back. It's only when Cas' hand slides into his and starts dragging him away that he stops resisting. The last thing he sees is Balthazar smiling through the blood pouring from his nose before he's swallowed by the crowd.

Cas drags him through the sea of people, gripping his hand tight in his own. Cas can't find the front exit, it's too far and he needs to get Dean out _now_. He drags him towards the back exit. When he reaches the door, he yanks Dean through, throwing him into the alley forcefully.

Cas lets the door close behind him, "What the hell is wrong with you?!" Cas barks fiercely.

"What?!" Dean cries, outrage clear on his face.

Cas gives him an infuriated look, "What the hell was that?"

"Are you kidding?" Dean asks, "Did you miss that he had his hand on your ass!"

Cas grinds his teeth and resists the urge to roll his eyes, "He was barely touching me, Dean!"

"Bullshit! He's been all over you since he showed up!"

Cas rolls his eyes, "He's my fri-,"

"Your friend? Does he know that? Maybe you haven't told him that you're-,"

"That I'm what, Dean?" Cas snaps, "Screwing you? No I haven't… I was under the impression that you wanted to keep us a secret."

"Yeah, it seems like you do too!"

"Dean!" Cas yells, "I. Don't. Want. Balthazar!" He growls through his clenched teeth.

"Really? Because sometimes, it's hard to tell."

"For fuck's sake, Dean!" Cas yells, "I want _you_, I'm with _you_… I don't care about anyone else!"

Cas' words stop Dean short and the silence hangs in the air for a long time, "Is that true?" Dean demands, his voice still gruff in fury.

Cas exhales, "Yes," he admits begrudgingly.

"I just…" Dean begins but he stops himself, "I just don't like the thought of him touching you…" He admits, "even if it's innocent."

"Dean," Cas begins seriously, "Balthazar is my friend… Are you going to attack him every time we hang out?"

"I'd like to," Dean mutters under his breath and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Dean, this is serious, Balthazar is in there with a broken nose!"

Dean snaps, "Yeah?" He asks, "Well, then, why aren't you nursing his wounds instead of standing in the alley fighting with me?!"

Cas opens his mouth to retort but then he shuts it again. He doesn't have an answer. He only considers it now. That's probably what he should've done but that wasn't his first instinct. He didn't rush to Balthazar's aid like he should have. No, instead, his first reaction was to grab Dean's hand and get him out of there. Sure, he wanted to yell at him but the only thought in his head at the time was to get Dean the hell away before Balthazar retaliated or someone else stepped in.

Cas rubs his eyes wearily, "I hate you," he sighs. The words didn't come out maliciously, they came out light. It was the only thing Cas could think of to describe his infuriation. He didn't mean it, of course he didn't.

"No," Dean denies, "you don't." He could never face the thought of Cas hating him. Cas doesn't answer because both he and Dean know the truth. Cas almost despises that Dean knows it for sure. He kind of wishes Dean might get upset over his choice of phrasing, that maybe Cas possibly hating him would hurt but, Cas was wrong.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Cas asks sadly.

Dean chews his lip, "Doing what?"

"This," he says, "acting like you care so much."

Dean stares at his feet, "I can't help it," he admits, "you just… make me crazy."

"Yeah, well… you too," Cas snipes quickly.

"I, just…" Dean sighs, "don't know how to act, Cas… I've never really… felt like this before."

Cas frowns, "What? You mean… with a guy?"

"No, Cas," Dean almost snaps, "I mean, ever."

Cas bites his lip and fights the temptation to grab Dean and kiss him. Dean takes a step forward, seeing the surrender in Cas' eyes. He reaches out and brushes Cas' cheek.

Cas hates this, hates that Dean throws some pretty words at him and he falls into putty. _No,_ Cas thinks, _I'm_ _not finished yelling._

He pushes Dean away, "You can't act like this Dean!" He cries, "You can't beat up Balthazar!"

"And why the fuck not?" Dean yells back, "He wants you, Cas! He's your ex-boyfriend for fuck's sake! Am I supposed to be okay with this?!"

"Why the fuck do you even care?" Cas cries.

"You're mine, Cas… no one else to allowed to have you."

"Dean, I'm all for you acting possessive in the bedroom but this is real life… I'm not screwing him, I'm not gonna let you decide who my friends are!"

"That's not what I'm doing Cas… It just frustrates me that he clearly wants you and I'm expected to pretend like I don't care?"

"There's a difference between caring and acting like a Neanderthal!"

"I'm sorry but when Balthazar touches your ass, I should damn well have the right to knock him out!"

"Why? What gives you that right? You're not my boyfriend!"

"Well I should be!" Dean yells without a second's hesitation. As the words come out of his mouth, he realises what he just said. He exhales to calm himself.

"What?" Cas asks, his voice now vacant of fury.

Dean bites his lip in aggravation at himself, "I, uhh," Dean begins, "should be… your boyfriend, Cas."

Cas feels his heart leap into his throat. Did Dean just… Cas shakes his head. He can't forget what happened because Dean's just told him he wants to be his boyfriend. _Dean wants to be his boyfriend._

"Fuck you," Cas spits because he knows that he's given in. Dean looks up in hurt but his face lights up in pure delight as Cas launches at him. He runs to Dean and crushes their lips together. Dean's so excited by the reaction that he wraps his arms around Cas and lifts him.

It's in this moment that Dean knows that there's something so much more than he thought there could be between him and Cas. A feeling so terrifyingly strong. He refuses it so thoroughly that it never comes to him as an actual thought but he knows. His entire being knows, it's just his brain that needs to catch up. This… feeling for Cas… it's already embedded into his soul and, mostly certainly, his body, but his mind is yet to realise it because, deep down, Dean doesn't think he deserves such happiness. As soon as he realises it, it's real, and then it only gives the world yet another opportunity to take someone important away from him. It's the survival instinct – his subconscious protecting his heart.

Dean pins Cas to the wall, rests his hand on his hip and leans into him with his other hand against the wall.

"I'm taking you home," Dean whispers against Cas' lips but it's a request.

Cas just nods and lets Dean hold his hand as he walks them to his car. Even when they reach the pathway and people can see them, Dean doesn't let go, he holds Cas close to him and lets everyone see.

When Dean reaches the Impala, he opens the door and Cas slides in. Dean jumps into the driver's seat but stops before he starts the engine.

"If you…" Dean begins, "if you want to make sure Balthazar is okay… I'll go with you… and apologise… if you want me to."

Cas chews at his fingernail and smiles to himself, "Dean," he addresses seriously, "thank you but you need to take me home right now or I'm going to attack you right here in this car."

Dean can barely control his grin as he starts the engine and drives out of the car park. He places his hand over Cas' and keeps their fingers entwined as he drives with one hand.

Cas immediately jumps on his phone and messages both Balthazar and Gabe. He feels guilty for leaving Balthazar there with a bloody nose but he's a big boy and can take care of himself, right?

Cas chews his fingernail nervously as the night's events play over in his head. _I should be your boyfriend_. The words had actually come out of Dean's mouth. Cas can't help himself.

"Dean, stop the car," he starts.

Dean frowns, "What?"

"Stop the car," he demands.

Dean pulls the car over and puts her into park. Before he can question it, his lap is occupied as Cas straddles him.

Cas crushes their lips together and grinds his groin down against Dean. Cas' hands pull at Dean's shirt immediately until it's off.

Dean moans into Cas' mouth. Cas runs his hands all over Dean's chest. "Dean," Cas whispers in between kisses, "Did you really mean what you said?"

"Yes," Dean groans, "yes, Cas… I want you… I want to be with you."

Cas moans into Dean's mouth, "Say that again," he whispers.

Dean smiles against Cas' lips, "I want to be with you," he says and manoeuvres Cas so that he's lying down on the seat. Dean trails his lips down Cas' neck, "Be with me, Cas," he pleads with a smile in his voice, "let me be your boyfriend."

The words send Cas over the edge. It's everything he wants from Dean and the words he never thought he'd hear. Dean Winchester's asking him to be his boyfriend. He's never wanted that so much before. The few people he's been with, he's never felt anything close to what he feels with Dean. He knows he promised Gabe but this is worth it, even for a few seconds of complete bliss. He forces their lips together and devours Dean's mouth. Cas' hands fumble quickly over his belt buckle and then over Dean's, "Yes," Cas breathes, "Yes."

Dean rips Cas' shirt open, he doesn't even bother with the buttons. He trails his lips down the front of Cas' stomach until he reaches his hips. He leans back and tugs at Cas' jeans until they come off. Dean then leans over and wraps his lips around Cas' member and starts to move. Cas moans drunkenly.

Dean eagerly slips a finger into Cas as he runs his mouth up and down his shaft. Cas moans again.

"Dean," Cas breathes, "I need you…" He attempts to pull Dean towards him, "Kiss me," he begs. Dean moves up and crushes their bodies together as he kisses Cas.

Cas can't take it and he takes control. He hitches his legs up and wraps them around Dean's waist. Cas slides his hand down between him as a guide before he uses the force of his legs to pull Dean into him in one, quick moment. He gasps at the sudden burning sensation.

Cas rolls his hips in desperation to get Dean to move. It still hurts, he isn't ready but he needs it. Dean devours Cas' mouth as he eagerly thrusts into him. Cas' hand rests on Dean's neck as they kiss.

"Hmm," Cas moans as his body starts responding in the good way and every time Dean moves, he feels himself coming undone. His fingers lock into Dean's hair to keep their lips together. Dean's breathing becomes erratic as his pace becomes wild. He has to pull his lips away but he keeps their foreheads glued together. Cas can feel his hot breath on his lips and his rigid breathing just turns him on even more.

"God, Cas," Dean groans as he slams into his lover… His boyfriend. He loves the way Cas bucks upwards, meeting his forceful thrusts. "You feel so good," he breathes.

"So do you Dean," Cas responds, "I'll never get sick of this feeling."

Dean can't help the smile that creeps into his lips as he kisses Cas. Cas feels it and smiles back. Dean's mood changes and so do his movements. It's as if Cas' words somehow make things more intimate and he feels the need to slow down. He rolls his hips slowly and sensually, pushing himself deep within Cas. Cas practically whimpers. Dean doesn't kiss him but his lips brush against his. Dean keeps his eyes on Cas, they never waver.

"Dean," Cas breathes, "harder," he begs.

Dean eagerly obeys and begins slamming into Cas as hard as he can. Cas cries out. His hands reach above his head and push against the car door, pushing himself further against Dean, "Faster," he whispers and Dean obeys. Dean devours Cas' neck as he repeatedly slams into him. Cas' sounds are going to send him over the edge.

Cas' hands find Dean's hair and he grips him tight. His other rests between Dean's shoulder and bicep. His rigid, hot breath is on Dean's neck as he uninhibitedly moans.

"Oh God, Dean," Cas groans, "harder." Dean moans at Cas begging and bucks into him even harder. "Oh, yes, Dean… just like that… ah," Cas continues to mutter.

"Oh, God Cas, I love it when you moan," Dean groans. Dean can tell that Cas is on the edge because his grip on Dean tightens. He pulls his hair so hard that it hurts but Dean only welcomes the feeling. His nails dig into Dean's shoulder so hard that Dean will surely scar. His breathing quickens to an unbelievable pace and, suddenly, Cas cries out. Dean plunges himself deeper into Cas as he feels his lover contract and erupt against his member and his own stomach. Cas' breath calms as he comes down and Dean slows his movements. Cas grasps Dean's face and sloppily meshes their lips together. Dean stops all together. He moves his lips down Cas' chin, across his jawline and down his neck. He softly kisses Cas' chest and nibbles at his nipples. Cas softly whimpers. Dean continues down to Cas' stomach. He looks up through his lashes and Cas is watching him carefully. Dean half-smiles before licking Cas' stomach, cleaning him.

Cas stutters a gasp, "Fuck, Dean," he whispers. When Dean is finished, he crawls back up Cas and crushes their lips together.

Cas doesn't let Dean continue. He manoeuvres Dean and himself so that he's straddling him and grinding up and down on Dean. Dean groans, "Fuck, Cas… you look so good like this."

Cas pulls at Dean's hair and devours his mouth. Dean groans every time Cas slams down against him. He feels himself build, every movement of Cas' bringing himself closer and closer to the edge. "You're so fucking hot, Cas," Dean moans against his lover's mouth.

Cas moves to kiss Dean's neck, "After what _you_ just did, are you kidding me?" He muffles against Dean's skin. Dean chuckles and leans his head back to touch their lips together again.

"You taste good, Cas," Dean muses and Cas groans against his lips. He grinds himself harder and faster against Dean. Dean feels himself tittering on the edge, "Cas," Dean whispers, "I'm… I'm… Oh, God, yes... ride me."

Cas' responding groans sends Dean over the edge and he erupts into Cas. As he comes down and his breathing slows, Cas crawls off him and pulls his clothes back on. He reaches over to gingerly touch Dean's shoulder.

"Oh, no, Dean," he begins, "I'm sorry."

Dean looks to his shoulder to see five, distinct scratches on his shoulder. Cas drew blood, "Don't worry," Dean says as he puts his hand over Cas', "I kind of like that you've left your mark on me," he grins.

Cas smiles back as Dean pulls his shirt back on. He holds Cas' hand for the entire ride home and, every so often, he brings it to his lips and kisses the back of his hand. He starts to feel the mark on his shoulder sting but it only makes him smile, like the phantom touch of Cas.

**Sorry this took so long, University has been hectic and destroying my soul :) **

**I left you guys with a cliff-hanger last time and it's still up in the air and I'm sorry but the next chapter is coming soon – within days, promise… It's just hard to find appropriate places to stop chapters but I've stopped it at a good place this time... well, hopefully in your opinion… Anyway, Enjoy**


	8. Chapter 8 - final chapter

It's five in the morning when Dean carefully slides out from under Cas and leaves. He makes sure he brushes Cas' forehead with his lips before he does so.

He heads back to his dorm with a smile on his face. When he gets to his room, Ash, his roommate, is fast asleep. Dean crashes onto his own bed. Ash is the only person in the world that knows Dean barely sleeps in his own room anymore and, yet, he doesn't ask questions.

When Dean wakes it's twilight and Ash has disappeared. He drags himself out of bed and checks his phone for the time. He should probably get some extra work done, like study. He's never been that type of person before. Dean heads to his computer and decides to check his mail – it's been weeks since he last checked it.

He scans through the twelve new emails in his inbox. He deletes the junk mail and that leaves one, lonely email that isn't junk. The sender is labelled as _unknown_ but the subject line reads 'you should see this'.

Dean clicks on the email to see a file attachment that's clearly a video. Dean clicks on the file.

It maximises and sound instantly fills his room. The sounds of gasps and groans – familiar ones. It takes a moment for him to recognise the images on screen. When he finally recognises Cas' face contorted in ecstasy his stomach drops. He almost feels relief when he sees that the man on his knees in front of Cas is himself. He'd had a momentary surge of fear that an unknown source had sent him evidence of Cas with someone else. Dean wouldn't be able to handle that. The relief doesn't last long as Dean realises the new threat: blackmail. Surely, it has to be. He quickly closes the window and further investigates the email. At the bottom of the document are three little and yet devastating words: Leave Cas alone.

Dean feels like his heart is caught in a vice. His breathing grows erratic instantly. This video on the internet would destroy Dean. His friends would see it, Bobby would see it and Sam would see it. _Sam_… what would Sam think? Would he be able to look Dean in the eyes anymore? Would Bobby still call Dean his son? They've never discussed this as a family. Bobby's an old-fashioned man and Sam's a contemporary kind of guy but it's a whole different story when you watch your older brother blow some guy on the internet.

Not to mention the social impact. Imagine all of Dean's old girlfriends seeing it, claiming they knew all along… maybe they'd even reveal more about Dean's preferences in the bedroom. Guys wouldn't look at him the same, maybe they'd expect Dean to be attracted to them? He couldn't take that. Dean's never hated himself more for the shit he used to do to Cas. Talk about getting his comeuppance.

And then there's Cas' reputation at stake. Dean doesn't know how open he is about his sexuality. Even if he is open, again, it's a whole other thing to have his intimate encounters online.

And then there's Cas… Just Cas. The thing at stake… what Dean's being blackmailed to give up.

Dean responds with one, simple word.

_No_

As soon as Dean considers leaving Cas, the answer is right there. The repercussions seem to fade away, like they don't matter, they're not important. Not when the alternative is leaving Cas and not being with him.

Dean receives a reply within seconds.

**I'll release the video**

Despite the fact that the email is 'unknown' Dean has a sinking feeling that he knows who it is. The person who's suddenly back in Cas' life, the one who used to love him and the one who smiled smugly when Dean threw his elbow in his face. Dean knows it. He knew it the first time he laid eyes on that sick, cunning bastard. It makes Dean all the more enthusiastic to refuse his demands.

_Go ahead… I'm not giving him up_

Balthazar stares at the screen with an infuriated grimace on his face. He thought this would be so easy. He thought Dean would give in immediately. How can someone who's so clearly emotionally unstable be okay with what he's threatening?

**Are you sure? One click and this video goes viral… think about Cas.**

Dean smiles, he can sense him getting scared. His blackmail clearly isn't going as planned. Dean decides to step it up a notch. What a great feeling he gets from beating him at his own game.

_Cas will support me… if it means that I get him and you don't get to touch him… Balthazar. _

"Fuck!" Balthazar curses. This isn't going at all how he planned but he can't back down now. If Dean knows, even if he just suspects, then Balthazar is screwed. Cas will know and he'll never want to see him again. Balthazar slams his fists down on his desk, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He has one other option. Lucky for him, Dean's such a hothead that this should be a piece of cake. Unlike his other, ill-considered plan.

Balthazar smiles to himself as he writes the next message.

_I've already touched him, Dean._

As Dean reads the words, his stomach stirs uncontrollably. His heart pounds in his chest like a jack hammer. It's not true… don't let it be true. _Of course it isn't_, he thinks, _Cas told him that never happened and he believes him._

**That's a lie… you never touched him, Balthazar… he wouldn't let you.**

Balthazar's answer is quick.

_Is that what he told you? I took his virginity, Dean._

The anger boils up in Dean.

**You shut your mouth**

_I touched him Dean… I was his first. I made him beg for it and he moaned my name while I rode him like an untamed bronco. He's a noisy little guy in the sack… you should know… The way he tilts his head back and closes his eyes when he can barely control his pleasure… The only difference was that it was my name on those gorgeous, cock-sucking lips, begging me to fuck him… begging me to make him come… and I did… every time. _

Balthazar knows it's not true but he recalls traits from the video to really get under Dean's skin.

"Fuck!" Dean shouts. He can barely feel the ground beneath his feet. If it's there, it's shaking with him. His nails dig into his palms but he can't feel the pain.

He practically breaks the keyboard as he responds.

**I'm going to kill you.**

Balthazar smiles to himself and writes back.

_By all means, I'm in 3B and, I assume, Cas has told you which building I'm in or… maybe he doesn't always tell you when he's here with me… He certainly lets my neighbours know. _

Dean can barely see two feet in front of him as he heads to Balthazar's building. Red spots of hate are blurring his vision. Dean can't even recall how he got there but he stands in front of a door labelled 3B. He kicks the door down and Balthazar's sitting in his computer chair staring at him, with a smug, satisfied smile on his face. Dean launches at him, clutches him by the front of the shirt and pulls him off his seat. Dean's knuckles collide with Balthazar's already bruised nose. Dean throws another, splitting Balthazar's lip open. He punches him again and again until he notices that something's off. Behind the blood, Balthazar's laughing. It's horrifying.

"Why the fuck are you laughing?" Dean demands.

Balthazar can barely control his laughter, "Because it was so easy… how stupid do you have to be to beat up someone who's trying to get you out of the picture?" The devastation rushes through Dean. Balthazar's smiling with teeth full of blood, "how do you think the school board will respond when they hear you've been charged with assault, Dean?"

Dean frowns, "What're you talking about?"

"I'll dob you in, Dean… there's security camera's all over the building you fucking moron!" Balthazar's smile finally turns to a horrible grimace as he shouts the last words at Dean.

Dean shakes his head, "Cas will never speak to you again."

Balthazar's smile returns, "You're not going to tell him, Dean… you're going to walk away… or you'll get expelled."

"No, I won't…" Dean refuses, "I won't let you get away with this you sick freak!"

"What choice do you have?" Balthazar asks, "How will little Sammy survive college without you taking care of him? How will poor, uncle Bobby feel when he finds out that all his scrimping and saving at that shitty auto shop was all for nothing?"

"How do you know about that?" Dean asks.

"There's not much I don't know about you Dean…" Balthazar smiles, "and there's not much you can stop me from doing to Sam once you leave."

Dean launches his fist into his face again and Balthazar laughs.

"Don't you dare threaten Sam!"

"He'll get eaten alive here, Dean… and you know it."

Dean lets go of him, letting him drop to the floor, "Fuck," he whispers.

"I'm giving you a chance to bow out gracefully, Dean…" Balthazar pauses to spit blood onto the floor, "When Cas hears my story and I've erased any evidence of the video, which, as you probably can guess, I'm capable of doing… you'll lose him too… it's your decision."

"You sick fuck… you're hurting Cas doing this, you know that?" Dean tries a different approach to reason with him.

Balthazar smiles, "You really think you're the best person for him?" He asks, "You're emotionally broken, Dean… you're a fucking train wreck."

Dean just shakes his head. He's not angry anymore, he just feels… empty.

"Fuck you," he says softly as he backs away and makes to leave.

"You have a week, Dean…" Balthazar says from his post on the floor, Dean stops, "choose wisely."

Dean leaves and, as he heads to the Roadhouse, he feels his world come crashing down around him.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas sits on his bed with his textbooks and notebooks open. It's been a week since he's seen Dean. He has to admit that he's a little worried but it's not like Dean's ignoring him. He still texts Cas to let him know that he has some family issues to attend to which Cas understands but, still, he can't help but worry. Not to mention that he hasn't gotten laid in a week and it's killing him.

When he hears a knock at the door, his heart sinks. It's past eleven, it could only be one person.

He opens the door to see Dean and his face lights up. Dean feels even more nervous than before, why must Cas look so happy to see him? Why does he have to make this so much harder than it already is?

"Oh, thank God," Cas gushes. Cas seizes Dean by the front of his shirt and forces their lips together, "I've missed you so much." When Cas opens his mouth against Dean's, Dean can't resist. He kisses Cas back and holds him tight. He can't help it. Cas tastes better somehow. Cas pulls Dean against him and drags him towards his desk, "It feels like forever," he says against Dean's mouth, "I need you so bad."

"Cas," Dean says between kisses, trying to get his attention. Cas just moans when Dean says his name and presses their bodies together harder. Dean can feel his hard member and it makes Dean's pants tighten. He can't resist. It's not bad of him to have one last run with Cas, right? Dean knows it's pointless arguing with himself because he couldn't reject Cas even if his life depended on it. He lets Cas drag him towards his desk. Dean lifts Cas onto his desk and manoeuvres himself between his legs. Cas pulls Dean's shirt off and then attacks his belt.

"I don't even care what you do to me," Cas whispers against Dean's lips, "Just touch me."

Dean groans loudly at that promise. When Dean's belt is undone, Cas slips his hand in and begins rubbing Dean's hardness.

"Oh, God," Dean whimpers.

"Feels like you've missed me, too, Dean," Cas chuckles.

Dean just nods, "Yes, Cas," he agrees, "I've missed you so much." He can't help it… it just slipped out. He holds Cas close to him as they kiss, unwilling to let him go. His hands wander down to Cas' pants and he slides them off. Then he moves to the shirt. He needs to feel Cas' bare chest against his.

Dean can barely control himself and he feels Cas on the edge too. He takes a moment to trace Cas' beautiful, plump bottom lip with his finger before he slips it into Cas' mouth. Cas licks and sucks eagerly and it makes Dean groan with anticipation.

"Fuck," Dean whispers as he removes his finger and presses it against Cas' entrance. Cas stops him.

"No, Dean," he says, "I need you… just fuck me, please?"

His words make Dean quiver. Cas lies down on the desk as Dean removes his pants completely. He takes a moment before forcing his way into Cas. Cas cries out.

"I'm sorry," Dean worries but Cas shakes his head.

"Don't…" Cas dismisses his concerns, "you feel good…" Cas closes his eyes. He looks so beautiful, Dean can't help himself. He leans over and places soft, tender kisses along Cas' neck as waits for Cas to relax. Cas' hands find Dean's hair and his breath is in his ear, "Move, Dean," he pleads.

Dean obeys and slowly eases in and out of Cas. Cas whimpers. Dean moves slowly, enjoying every blissful moment of being with Cas. He tastes Cas' skin and feels his soft lips against his own. Cas' hands rest on his back. It's such a simple and unimportant action and yet it's something that makes Dean feel safe, precious. He wants this to last forever, even though he knows it won't. It'll probably make it worse for him later but he doesn't care, he needs Cas.

"Faster, Dean," Cas implores and Dean almost sighs in disappointment. Dean wants to go slow, savour it. Cas just wants to fuck. Above wanting this to be… special, he wants Cas to have what he wants.

Dean moves faster. He pounds against Cas furiously, growing even more enthusiastic as Cas groans appreciatively.

"Oh, Dean," he moans against his ear. Dean sits up to better see Cas. He runs his hands up his stomach and over his chest. He grips Cas' shoulder tight as he thrusts into him. Cas looks like he's concentrating with his eyes closed, his brow furrowed and his bottom lip between his teeth. Every so often, his lips part beautifully and a desperate moan escapes him.

"Dean, I'm gonna…" Dean stops at the words. _No_, he thinks, _this can't be over._

Cas doesn't just look disappointed, he looks downright hurt, "Why'd you stop?"

Dean doesn't answer. He pulls Cas up, lifts him off the desk and carries him to the bed. He puts Cas on the bed, finally slipping out of him as he does so.

Cas looks up and Dean leans down to press their lips together, "How bad do you want me Cas?" Dean whispers. He crawls over Cas so that he's hovering above him but their bodies aren't touching.

Cas smiles, "I don't want you, Dean," he says, "I _need_ you… please," he begs. Dean's going to miss that.

"Tell me again, Cas," Dean begs.

"I need you Dean," Cas repeats and it could almost hurt Dean it feels so good. He's awful, he's a bad person but he can't stop. It's like a sickness, a drug… he knows he shouldn't but he does anyway.

Dean grins wickedly before standing, and roughly flipping Cas over. Cas gasps. Dean grabs Cas by the hips and pulls him up so that he's on his hands and knees. Dean rubs his hardness against Cas' backside in a circular, teasing motion. Cas coos softly.

"Dean, please," he begs.

Dean just smiles, "What's wrong, Cas?" He asks.

"Dean," he says in a warning tone, "put. It. In."

Dean smiles and slowly eases into Cas and he sighs. He moves but it's at a frustratingly slow pace.

"Dean!" Cas yells, "Please!"

Dean just chuckles but doesn't speed up, he continues to tease Cas, "What're you going to do about it, Cas?" He asks.

Cas grins. He pulls himself away from Dean, turns, grabs Dean and forces him down on the bed. Cas straddles him quickly and forces his way onto Dean.

Dean chuckles as Cas' nails dig into his chest and he starts moving up and down on Dean. He eagerly increases his pace.

"You're an ass," Cas tells him through groans.

Dean grins, "And you look beautiful in control," he says.

Cas bites his lip and gives Dean a lasting look before he sets into an even more furious rhythm and tilts his head back in ecstasy. Dean groans. The unbelievable feeling doesn't compare to the sight. Cas is so beautiful, why did he never stop to appreciate it before?

When Dean grasps Cas' member in his hands, Cas only moans louder and rides harder.

Dean feels himself build and he can sense that Cas is almost there too because he bounces on Dean even faster.

"Dean…" he moans.

"Oh, Cas," Dean whispers, "I need you…" he says so quietly that Cas can't hear him.

Dean feels himself on the edge and he watches Cas climax before he follows him and erupts into his lover. Cas' breathing slows, his nails unclench from Dean's chest and he heaves a satisfied sigh.

Cas collapses onto the bed, "That's just for starters, so you know… you're not leaving tonight and you sure as hell aint sleeping." Dean smiles but it's kind of vacant. He looks to Cas… Now's the time right? He watches Cas' chest slowly heave up and down.

It wouldn't be so bad if he just hugged Cas for a while, right? Just to… say goodbye.

Dean reaches over and pulls Cas in as close as he can. Cas can sense Dean's strange mood and he meets Dean's fierce eye contact. He's absorbing Cas' face with his eyes like he can't get enough. Dean holds his jaw and pulls Cas in for a long, intimate kiss. Dean kisses him for a long time. It doesn't lead to anything; he just kisses him slowly and sensually.

Cas lies on his stomach with his arms buried under the pillow he's resting his head on. His entire back is exposed. Only his backside is covered by a sheet. Dean lies on his side next to him and watches Cas. The only thing keeping him from being completely naked is the same sheet sitting over his lap. He just watches Cas' form and listens to his breathing. He's not sleeping but he has his eyes closed. Dean lightly traces Cas' back with his finger. This is it, right? He should leave now before he does any more damage. Just… one last night, would that be so bad?

"Cas…" Dean begins.

"Hmm?" Cas responds.

"When did you know that you were gay?" Dean asks. He doesn't know why he asks, he just wants to know as much about Cas as he can… while he still can.

"I was sixteen," Cas explains, wearily opening his eyes, "I thought I was asexual for a long time."

"Asexual?" Dean asks.

"It means no sexual orientation… I mean, it's not like I didn't have sexual desires but… I was just so awkward when it came to trying anything." Dean chuckles, "Shut up, don't laugh," Cas says but he's smiling. "I mean, I had friends, I just… couldn't talk to girls who flirted with me."

"So, how did you know?" Dean continues to trace mindless pictures on Cas' back.

"Well… I suspected… the only time I've been with a woman was my neighbour, Meg… She had a crush on me for years but I was never that interested but, one time she kind of… came on to me. I got so nervous that I just started talking about when we were eight and her father walked out…" Dean chuckles again and Cas blushes, "Shut up, it was insensitive… I was an idiot… she yelled at me, kicked me out and then never spoke to me again."

"Oh, Cas," Dean laughs, tickling his skin.

Cas laughs too, "I was still confused…" he explains, "I had this best friend… his name was Sammandriel… He wasn't gay but a little curious… we decided to try it out when we were sixteen. It went horribly… neither of us knew what we were doing, it was messy and awkward but I knew. When I kissed him and touched him it wasn't like when I kissed Meg… I actually felt something. Despite that the sex didn't really go so well, at least I knew. Sammandriel said I didn't really do anything for him… after that, I knew I liked kissing guys I just… realised that I wasn't really ready to go further. Then I met Balthazar at a party. He was a friend's older brother." Dean feels his stomach drop, "He was nice and interested and asked me on a date. He wasn't uncomfortable by my awkwardness; he thought it was cute… I liked spending time with him but Balthazar was… well, he really wanted to, you know, but after my first time, I just wasn't ready. He was clearly in love and got a little intense so I broke it off."

"So, you really never slept with Balthazar?" Dean asks.

Cas frowns at him and Dean attempts to smooth out the lines between his eyebrows. The action turns Cas' frown into a smile.

"No, I told you I didn't… I never slept with him," he explains, "it wasn't until my first year of college that I slept with someone else… just some guy I dated for a while and we kind of, just, fizzled out. Then, my last boyfriend was a guy named Crowley, he was kind of a dick… cheated on me and stuff but," Cas shrugs, "it didn't really bother me because it's not like I was in love with him but I still broke up with him when I found out."

"So you've only been with three people?" Dean asks.

"Well, four," he says and smiles, "since I met you."

"And what's the verdict on me?" Dean asks softly.

Cas smiles, "Still out," he grins, "but I'm easily swayed…" he winks. Dean smiles sadly, he wishes he could make that verdict a good one but he knows he won't. "You've never told me about you," Cas says.

Dean smiles, "What do you want to know?"

Cas shrugs, "Your dating history."

Dean exhales, "There's not much to tell… I've never had much of a relationship… the longest was two months with a girl named Lisa… apart from that, it's only ever been one night stands."

"How many?" Cas asks nervously, even though he's kind of scared of the answer.

"I don't know," Dean admits, "a fair few but I'm always safe… well, except with you… I don't know why…"

"Same," Cas mutters, "Do you at least know how many guys?" He asks.

Dean frowns, "Cas," he says seriously, "I've only been with you…" he says. "I've never been with a guy… I've spent the last couple years trying to suppress whatever it is I've been feeling… And… then, there was you… I've never officially apologised for the hell I put you through and I'm so sorry, Cas… I'm so sorry."

Cas nods, "I know, Dean," he says and presses his lips together, "I know."

"I just… I couldn't stand to look at you… you with your big, blue eyes… I could hardly take it… every time I saw you it just… made me… I don't know… feel things I didn't like… you made me want you and… I couldn't take it any longer… I gave in and, well, you know the story." Cas smiles but Dean pouts, "Cas," he says seriously, "what I did to you… it was… inexcusable… I'm so sorry I hurt you…" Dean wishes he could promise that he won't hurt him again but he can't. He shouldn't be saying anything like this, he should stop talking all together. This isn't fair to Cas and Dean's being selfish… he's doing this because _he_ can't say goodbye but Cas doesn't deserve what Dean's doing, he deserves a clean break. Dean needs to do this now, before he makes it worse.

"Cas…" Dean begins sadly.

Cas nods, "I know Dean," he begins, "I forgive you."

Dean feels his eyes start to well impossibly. How can Cas be so forgiving? Dean can't help himself. He knows he shouldn't, he screams at himself but he can't stop. He grabs Cas by the back of the head and pulls him in to crush their lips together. _Just one last time,_ he promises himself. Dean's lips move to graze Cas' shoulder and he trails his lips over his lover's back. He straddles Cas from behind and rubs his back as he presses his lips against his skin. Dean is gentle and soft. He lies back down next to Cas on his side and pulls Cas against him, wraps his arms around his chest and waist and he gradually enters him.

Dean doesn't let go the entire time. He slowly eases in and out of Cas, gently and wonderfully. His lips never stray far from the crease between Cas' neck and his shoulder blade. Cas reaches back to grasp Dean's hair tenderly and graze his chin with his hand. He moans but it's soft. Every so often, he whispers Dean's name. Dean wants to watch him but he can't, not when he can barely control the water in his eyes as it is. Every time Cas whispers his name like it hurts him, like he needs him desperately, it gets harder.

Cas finds this odd… Dean and he have never been like this before but he welcomes it. Something about how Dean will hardly let him stray an inch tells him that Dean needs this. They both reach a peak and Cas cries out beautifully as they both climax together.

Afterwards, Dean doesn't let Cas go for a long time. When Cas finally gets out of bed and puts his clothes on, Dean does the same. The sun is coming up and he'd usually leave at this time. He can't put in off any longer. He's already pushing Balthazar's deadline to the limit. He's spent the last week drinking until he passes out. He never reaches a sober decision. He just… can't get expelled. He can't leave Sam here and he can't let Bobby's hard work go to waste. He can't be selfish… he can choose his own wants over his family's… he just… can't.

He needs to do this now.

"Cas," Dean begins and he can feel his heart beat nervously, "I, uhh… I need to talk to you."

Cas turns to face Dean and sees the sadness on his face, "What's wrong?"

"I, uhh…" Dean bites his lips. Forcing the words out feels like the hardest thing he's ever done, "I, uhh… can't see you anymore."

Cas' stomach drops, "What?" He whispers.

"I…" Dean says and he finally gathers the courage to look up at Cas, "I came here to break up with you."

Cas' face is devastating, "Is this a joke?" He asks, his voice quivering.

Dean shakes his head, "No… it's not."

Cas bites his lip, he feels like his world has just been shattered, "Why!?" He demands, his voice finally filling with anger.

"I just… can't do this."

"Then why did you come here, Dean?" Cas demands. Dean can hear it in his voice; he's absolutely furious, "Did you want one last _fuck_ before you're done with me? Why would you ask me to be your boyfriend just to dump me? Are you sick?"

"It's not like that!" Dean tries to explain.

"Then what? You come here intending to break up with me? What happened? You kiss me and fuck me… you lay next to me and hold me! You confessed and apologized… what the fuck?!" Cas screams.

"I know I'm sorry," Dean whispers with his eyes on the ground.

"So why? Is this a sick game to you? Do you get off on fucking with me?"

"No," Dean says softly.

"Then why, Dean? Why couldn't you just dump me and be done with it?! Why'd you have to make sure that I suffered?!" Cas has never shouted so loud in his life but he has no control over his emotions.

Dean snaps, "Because I couldn't say goodbye!"

Cas stops dead, "What?" He whispers.

Dean licks his lips and puts his head in his hands, "I couldn't say goodbye, Cas…" He whispers, "I didn't want to."

"Then why are you breaking up with me?" Cas asks softly.

_Shit_, Dean thinks, he shouldn't have said that, he should've been a man and told Cas that he simply doesn't want this anymore. He should've been a man and ended it the moment he walked in the door. "I, uhh…"

"What!?" Cas yells.

"I can't be gay, Cas!" Dean yells. He can't even look up at him. He can't see the heartbreak there, "I… just, can't…"

"Everything you said…"

"Was true," Dean says quickly, "but it doesn't change the fact that…" Dean bites his lip, it's almost a punishment for what he's about to say, "I don't want to be this way."

"Get out," Cas says quickly as he feels himself breaking down. He storms towards Dean, grabs him by the front of the shirt and throws him against his door, "I wish you'd never walked into my room, Dean… I wish you never came into my life… I wish you just continued to treat me like shit, like always."

"Cas…"

"Get the fuck out!" Cas yells as he opens the door and throws Dean through it. When he closes the door again, he lies against it and slides down as his emotions finally overcome him and he breaks down.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas doesn't see Dean, not even a glimpse of him, for a week. He deleted his number and messages so that he couldn't be tempted to text or call him during the nights he's spent in bed with a bottle of vodka locked in his grasp.

He's hardly left his bedroom except for classes for fear of running into Dean. He hasn't even attended the classes he has with Gabe, for fear of confessing the truth and having Gabe look sympathetically and disappointedly at him. He only sees him when Gabe bursts through the door.

Cas jumps, "Gabe?"

"Where the hell have you been?" Gabe cries, "I've been trying to contact you and your phone's off."

"Is it?" Cas asks, "I haven't noticed."

Gabe takes in Cas' appearance. He's unshaven, tired and looks like he's been hit by a truck. "What's wrong with you?" Cas sits down on his bed.

Cas looks to Gabe and he can't help his emotions, "I'm sorry Gabe," he explains, his voice quivering, "I tried…"

"Tried what?"

"I tried not to fall…" he explains, the tears welling.

"Oh, Cas," Gabe soothes and he sits down on the bed and takes Cas immediately into his arms as he cries against his shoulder, "It's okay," he calms. "Do you want me to kick his ass?" Gabe asks, trying to get a smile.

Cas chuckles thickly but refuses.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Dean feels like he's spent most of his time at the Roadhouse lately. The only difference tonight is that Sam's with him and he's actually eating something that isn't whisky.

Sam watches him with a careful eye, he knows when his brother is upset.

"Dean, are we gonna talk about what's bothering you?"

Dean frowns, "What's bothering me?"

Sam shrugs, "You tell me."

"Nothing," Dean lies, "I'm fine."

Sam nods but doesn't believe it, "Okay," he says, "is this about finals next week?" He asks.

Dean's heart sinks. He had totally forgotten about finals, "Yeah," Dean agrees, "I'm a little stressed."

"I can help you study if you want," Sam suggests.

Dean shakes his head, "No," he refuses, "you've got your own study to worry about."

"Dean…"

"No, Sam!" Dean snaps and then realises the unnecessary anger in his voice, "I… just… don't want you worried about me… that's my job."

Sam nods, "Yeah," he agrees, "okay." Sam lets it go.

What Sam doesn't know is that Dean has to drown himself in alcohol every night before he can even bring himself to sleep. Sometimes, he wakes up in the middle of the night, hoping to reach out and touch Cas but the bed is always empty. The bed will always be empty.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas sits with Gabe on a blanket on the grass. Only with Gabe's help, is he able to be on campus grounds and not feel distraught. He has to move on. He's not going to waste his time crying over someone who's not worth it. Finals are only next week. If he can't suck it up and get through his exams, he may be screwed for the rest of his degree. He's not going to let one, little prick ruin his rose. Cas is better than that.

It's still hard though. Being outside, knowing that Dean could walk by and having to see him again, it hurts. But Gabe is making it better; he doesn't leave Cas' side.

They study together as much as possible, trying to prepare. Balthazar joins them. Cas hasn't seen him in a while and his face looks a little worse for wear.

"Jesus," Cas says, inspecting Balthazar's face, "Is this what Dean did to you?" He asks. Even saying his name hurts. Cas hasn't seen Balthazar since the club a couple weeks ago but they'd spoken over the phone. Balthazar had said that he was more upset that Cas had lied to him about Dean living 'out of town' than he was about getting his face busted. Balthazar had to allow himself to heal before he faced Cas. He still had bruises around his nose but his busted lip and bruised eye socket have healed from his second beating. Only his nose is taking its sweet ass time to heal. However, Balthazar had been sure to take Polaroids to use as collateral against Dean.

Balthazar shrugs, "It's no big deal," he says. "Your boyfriend's surely protective."

Cas shudders and Gabe scowls at Balthazar for bringing that up, "We broke up," Cas says simply.

"Oh," Balthazar plays dumb, even though Dean had emailed him almost immediately saying 'it's done… congratulations… Cas is broken, just as you wanted.' "I'm sorry."

Cas nods and ignores it, "Yeah," he says. He feels Gabe's hand grip his own tightly for a moment.

"So, _Balthazar,_" Gabe says his name with a little bitterness in his tone. He hates Balthazar for being a reminder to Cas. He'd never say this out loud but Cas is like a baby bird, he needs Gabe to protect him or he'll break, "how are your final studies going?"

"Fine," Balthazar says briskly. "I could use a study buddy, though," he turns to grin at Cas.

"Cas is taken," Gabe says quickly and smiles tightly, "By me."

Cas frowns at Gabe, questioning him for his odd behaviour.

"Oh," Balthazar says, "Well, if I'm disturbing your studies I'll-,"

"Don't be silly," Cas dismisses, "you're not disturbing us."

Cas glares at Gabe who looks a little irritated but lets it go and Balthazar sits with them for the rest of the afternoon. When Balthazar leaves, Cas turns to Gabe.

"What was that about?" He asks.

"He annoys me," Gabe answers.

"He didn't know, Gabe…"

"Yeah, yeah," Gabe dismisses. "He could still _pretend_ like he's not thrilled that you're single now."

Cas just frowns at his friend, "What's wrong, why are you grumpy?"

"I'm not," Gabe denies, "I just… don't want _more_ people taking advantage of you…"

"He's not taking advantage…"

"You're hurt and vulnerable, Cas."

"Shut up!"Cas snaps and then regrets it instantly. He knows Gabe is just trying to help but he can only take so much. Before he can apologise or Gabe can storm off, like he expected, Gabe's hand grazes his knee.

"I'm sorry," he says softly, "I'm sorry."

"Me too," Cas says and he squeezes Gabe's hand affectionately. Cas smiles weakly.

He glances up briefly and his heart stops as he meets a pair of familiar, green eyes staring back at him. It only lasts a second before Cas looks away but it's long enough to hurt. He squeezes Gabe's hand as hard as he can.

"Gabe…" he whispers.

"I know," Gabe responds, squeezing Cas back. After a few seconds pass, Gabe speaks, "He's gone," he tells him and Cas relaxes.

"Thank you," he whispers gently.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas feels better to have something else to focus on. Once he's thrown himself into his studies, he starts feeling better. He has a distraction for the time being and he doesn't spend his entire time moping over what he's lost.

Dean doesn't do so well. He tries to study but he can't do it without thinking about Cas. Constant reminders of him follow Dean everywhere and prevent him from picking up anything other than a bottle.

When Dean finally sits down for the exam that Cas helped him with, he doesn't have high hopes. He's shit, after all, how could he be so delusional to think that he'd actually have a smidgeon of a chance to do this?

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas heads home after his first final. He's going home to study some more. He heads past Dean's friends and some devastating memories flood back to him. He's too distracted to realise what's happening until he's falling through the air. He hits the pavement hard and his elbow scraps along the ground, surely taking off a layer of skin.

He looks up and one of Dean's friends is grinning down at him. The rest of them chuckle and head off. Cas looks around and everyone's staring at him. He feels himself blush and tries to gather his things with dignity before heading home. He thought this was done with. He didn't question it before but the bullying had stopped since Dean and he had gotten serious, was that Dean's doing? Does Dean not care anymore what happens to him? The questions are too painful for him to consider but, the more he tries to ignore them, the more pressing they get.

Cas makes it to his room and inspects his arm. It's bleeding but only on the surface. It's only a graze but a severe one. It stings. He puts something on it but it doesn't help his inner pain. He feels embarrassed and hurt but he tries not to get angry. It won't help and he can't take it out on the one he's really angry with.

He doesn't study, he sits and stews on it.

It's eight 'o' clock and Gabe hasn't heard from Cas all day. He starts to worry. He's been checking up on Cas periodically since Dean left him. The last time Cas didn't speak to him, he'd had his heart broken. Gabe heads over to Cas' to check on him.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Dean walks into his room and Ash is sitting on his bed with his computer in his lap.

"Hey," Dean says, he was hoping he'd have some privacy.

"Hey," Ash responds, "good to see that you aren't hanging out with those jerk friends of yours anymore."

Dean frowns, "Yeah," he agrees, "It's been a while." It's true that Dean's hardly spent any time with his friends. Ash is right; they are jerks with Dean as their ring leader. The truth is, though, Dean stopped hanging around them because he didn't have time. He would much rather spend time with Cas and, when he wasn't doing that, he was studying so he _could_ see Cas.

"I always thought you were better than that, Dean," Ash continues, bitterness flavouring his tone. "Those guys are assholes."

"I know," Dean admits sadly, "but they were following me."

"Well now they're worse than you," Ash explains, "they tripped some kid over today in front of everyone… that kid you beat the shit out of in the computer lab," Ash spits.

"What?"

"Yeah," Ash agrees with himself and closes his laptop, "so, congratulations for not being an asshole anymore but at least clean up after yourself." Ash glares at Dean before storming out.

Dean should be upset because Ash is right, he is an asshole but all he sees is Cas… someone hurting Cas… _his_ friends hurting Cas because of the bullshit _he_ started. Dean practically runs from his room.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas rolls his sleeves down when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and Gabe's standing there with a concerned frown.

"You okay?"

Cas frowns, "Yeah, of course," he says. "Why?"

Gabe enters Cas' room, "You've been ignoring my texts," he explains.

"Oh, I lost my phone," Cas explains.

Gabe nods and accepts the explanation, "Wanna go out?" He suggests.

Cas shakes his head, "No," he refuses, "I should probably get some more studying done."

Gabe just nods, "Okay," he says. "Just… let me know if you want to… you know… get out."

Cas nods and smiles appreciatively, "Of course."

Gabe takes off back to his dorm. He's halfway there when he hears disgruntled noises. He follows them curiously.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Dean knows where they usually hang out because Dean's been purposely avoiding those places. He heads there now, though. If they were at a party tonight, he'd know about it.

When Dean sees the group of guys they celebrate his coming with cheers. He knows which one would have tripped Cas. Roman likes to pretend he calls the shots when Dean's not around. Picking on Cas would've been his idea of a power play. Do something Dean _specifically_ told him not to. Roman's smug smile gets wiped straight off his face when Dean's fist comes down upon it. He only gets one good punch in before the other guys grab him. Roman holds his nose in shock.

"What the fuck?" He yells.

"You stay away from him!" Dean screams at the top of his lungs.

"What?"

"Cas!" Dean explains, still trying to break away from his constraints. "I told you not to touch him!"

"What are you, like in love with him or something?" Roman yells back.

Dean doesn't deny it, "I'm warning you, Roman!" Dean continues to yell, "You touch him again and, I swear to God, I'll _fucking_ kill you."

Dean shakes off the people holding him back and storms away.

Gabe stands at a distance, staring at the display, catching the last few moments of the fight. _What the fuck just happened?_ He wonders. _Was that about Cas? _He wonders. Nothing happened to Cas, as far as he knows.

Gabe dials Cas' number and he answers after a few rings.

"Hey," Cas answers, "I found my phone!"

"Convenient," Gabe mutters.

"What?"

"Nothing… look, Cas… did something happen today?"

"No… what're you-,"

"C'mon, Cas… you're the worst liar in the world… just tell me."

Cas sighs, "Okay, but don't freak out and do something stupid."

"Scout's honour," he says.

"One of Dean's friends tripped me over today," he says, "Dean wasn't there… he doesn't know."

_Yes he does_, Gabe thinks, "Yeah."

"Gabe, _don't_ do anything stupid."

"I won't…" Gabe says, "I promise."

Gabe doesn't tell Cas what he just saw and hangs up. He doesn't want him to get his hopes up for something that may be misinterpreted.

But how else can he interpret it? Why is Dean trying to protect Cas? Why is he acting like he cares about him?

"What the fuck is happening?" He whispers to himself.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

For the next week, Gabe keeps his mouth shut about what he saw. He does, however, keep a careful watch. He sense something _strange_ happening. Gabe thought it strange from the start. He doesn't like Dean, he never has but, even Gabe knows that there's certain ways you don't act if you feel the need to deny your sexuality. You don't show up at a gay club and knock out someone hitting on the guy you're sleeping with because he doesn't mean anything to you. You don't ask someone to be your boyfriend if you 'can't be gay'. And you certainly don't beat up your friends and risk them finding out about your secret sexual partner if you don't care about that person. Dean's behaviour is more than strange… Gabe just needs to find out what the real reason behind it is. And, more to the point, he needs to protect Cas until he knows that he's not misreading Dean's actions.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Dean enters his professor's office. He doesn't know what to expect but butterflies flutter nervously in his stomach. It's the first time he's left his room since he broke up with Cas. It was strange, being sober. He'd received an email from his professor about organising a meeting so, here he is.

"Dean," he addresses seriously and his stomach drops, "I made sure I graded your exam as soon as possible… I know you would be anxious." Dean eyes the piece of paper in his hands.

"And?"

The professor exhales and hands him the paper, "Congratulations," he says.

Dean looks at the big, red, capital A and he can't believe it. An A! Not even an A minus… a solid A.

"Son of a bitch," he mutters.

His professor holds his hand out and Dean shakes it, "Well done, son."

Dean nods, "Thank you," he says, with a wide smile on his face. As he leaves the office, he feels like he's walking on air.

He can't help but smile proudly at himself – for the first time ever. Dean sets eyes on Cas, sitting on the ground with Gabe. Dean's happiness gets in the way and he forgets everything for the moment. His feet take off as he runs towards him.

Cas feels like his heart stops as he sees Dean runs towards him. Even more because Dean's smiling broadly, "Cas, get up," he instructs him.

Cas just frowns at him, "What?"

Dean reaches down to grab Cas' hand and yank him to his feet so that they're at the almost-same height, "Cas," Dean begins, "I got an A."

Cas' face falls completely and he's momentarily disarmed, "What?" He asks.

"I got an A," Dean repeats, still obviously thrilled.

"Oh my god" Cas says and then his smile meets Dean's in largeness. "Oh my god!" He cries again and he can't help himself when Dean rings him in for a hug and Cas jumps on him. Both of them forget where they are as Dean spins him enthusiastically.

Dean eases Cas to the ground and, without thinking, reaches out and pulls him in, crushing their lips together in a deep, passionate kiss. They break and Dean notices the surprise in Cas' eyes.

"Dean…" Cas says softly.

"Yeah," Dean agrees, dropping his hand, the evidence of his realisation suddenly all over his face, "I know… I'm… I'm sorry." Dean scans the vicinity to ensure that Balthazar is nowhere to be seen. Gabe's looking at him with raised eyebrows, "I'm sorry," he whispers again before scurrying away nervously.

Cas turns to Gabe, "What the fuck just happened?" He asks.

Gabe shrugs, "Beats me… Guy can't make up his mind."

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Dean sits at the bar with a glass of whisky in his hand. He takes the occasional sip. He doesn't look when he hears the door open. He doesn't lift his eyes from his drink. Someone parks themselves next to Dean but he doesn't look up.

"Can I get a beer?" The neighbour asks and Dean freezes. _That voice_, Dean thinks. He looks up and big, beautiful, blue eyes are looking at him. Cas doesn't look sad or distraught, he looks a little serene.

"Cas?" He whispers curiously.

Cas nods, "Hey," he acknowledges.

"What… what are you doing here?" He asks.

Cas smiles tightly, "I wanted to talk to you… about today."

Dean nods, "Okay," he agrees and takes another sip.

It took Cas a lot to bring himself here but he needed to. He needs the closure. It's just hard to keep a calm façade around Dean… hard to compose himself.

"Dean," Cas begins seriously, "If you don't want to be with me that's fine but you can't act like that."

"I know…" Dean says quickly, "the kiss…"

"Not just that…" Cas begins and then has to force himself to get the next words out, "you can't light up like I'm your favourite person… or hug me like you never want to let me go… It'll just screw with me."

Cas is trying to hide it but Dean can hear the pain in his voice. It hurts him, "Yeah," Dean responds a little briskly, beginning to wonder why Cas is having this talk with him. He knew it was just a matter of time before Balthazar moved in on Cas. "You probably wanna get on with your life," he says with a little bitterness in his tone.

"Something like that," Cas says quietly. _Not that I think I can_, he thinks.

Dean swallows, "Yeah," he begins and he can barely control the edge to his voice. "Well… congratulations, I wish you and Balthazar all the happiness in the world." Dean stands and throws a couple of twenties on the bar.

"What?" Cas asks.

Dean gives Cas a lasting, stern look, "Goodbye, Cas," he says in a hard voice before turning to leave. He heads out into the car park and stops as he reaches the Impala.

Cas follows Dean out, "Dean, what are you talking about?" He demands.

Dean turns to face him and he sways a little where he stands, "May as well give in, Cas…" He spits angrily. "Balthazar's waiting."

Cas' hands flex into fists, "I don't want him and how dare you act like that bothers you!" He shouts.

"Yeah, like you don't want him," Dean retorts fiercely, "I mean, Balthazar makes more sense for you… He's open, he's comfortable… He's not emotionally stunted like me…"

Cas shakes his head, "You don't get it…" he whispers sadly.

"What? You haven't thought about it?" Dean yells, unable to control his anger. His inner voice that knows he's being cruel is far too drunk to realise that he's being unfair. Cas doesn't deserve this. If he wants to be with Balthazar, he shouldn't have to feel like he's betraying Dean.

"Of course, Dean," Cas says casually and Dean feels his heart break, "You don't think I realise how much better he would be for me… how much safer… how I know that he wouldn't hurt me like you do?"

"Then why don't you go after him?" Dean snaps, "You obviously want to."

"Because he's not you Dean! Okay?" Cas shouts, "Balthazar _can't_ hurt me… not like you can… I'll never be able to see anyone as more than a friend because they're not you!"

Dean stops shouting, "What are you saying?"

Cas rubs his eyes like he's finding it difficult to function, "Isn't it obvious Dean?" He finally looks up to yell, "I'm fucking in love with you!"

Dean stares at Cas. There's water in his eyes and a strain in his voice that only comes when he's highly emotional. His heart feels like it's caught in a vice and his hands are sweating. He can't look anymore. He turns away, "God damn it Cas!" Dean yells before turning back, "Why do you have to make it so hard?" Cas looks hurt but Dean starts to ramble, "Why must you be so perfect? Why can't you be just like everyone else? Why can't you disregard me like everyone else? How can you see me for who I truly am, look at my flaws, see me for the emotionally crippled, fuck-up I am and still love me? Huh? Why Cas?" Cas tries to breathe as Dean yells. It's true… He doesn't care about Dean's issues… he loves him, he wants him exactly the way he is. "Why can't you just make it at least a little bit difficult to love you?"

Dean rolls his lips and presses his mouth into a hard line. He shouldn't have said that. Cas feels his eyes well. He can't control himself. He runs towards Dean, grabs him by the chin and pulls their lips together. The reaction sends Dean over the edge and he eagerly holds Cas against him. He parts Cas' lips and devours Cas' mouth with a deep, intimate kiss. Cas' body against him feels incredible. He thought he'd never have this again. He knows he shouldn't have it now. Nothing's changed. Cas loves him and he loves Cas but that doesn't matter, not when Balthazar still owns his ass.

He pulls away, it's probably the hardest thing he's ever done. Cas' plump lips are less than an inch from his own. It would be so easy to claim them again.

"I can't," Dean whispers and it physically hurts him, "I'm sorry."

He turns away from Cas' broken expression and gets in his car. He drives away, trying to erase that horrible image of Cas. Utterly devastated at Dean and, yet, completely delighted at Dean's words.

He pulls over when Cas and the Roadhouse have disappeared from his rear view mirror. If he doesn't stop, he'll crash. In the confines of his vehicle, he screams.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas feels even more distraught than he did before. Dean's confession only makes him hurt more. Dean loves him, he loves Dean and yet that's not worth accepting his sexuality for. He hurts, he hurts so bad and he's starting to consider drastic measures.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Balthazar heads over to the picnic table where Gabe and Cas are sitting.

"Hey Cas," he begins and Cas smiles at him. Gabe just glares. Balthazar considers asking him what the hell his problem is but he knows that he needs to look like the innocent one if he's ever going to separate Cas from all these bad influences. Dean's out… Gabe's next.

"Hey," Cas greets.

"Can I talk to you?" He asks and gives Gabe a sweeping once over, "Alone," he clarifies.

Cas nods, "Sure," he agrees and walks over with Balthazar to have a bit of privacy. "What's up?" He asks.

Balthazar looks nervous, "Look, Cas," he begins, "I know that things didn't exactly end very well with us when we tried dating… and I know that you just broke up with someone and I don't want to change our relationship so… don't feel obligated or anything… I just thought I'd at least try… it's okay if you say no…"

"Balthazar," Cas interrupts and Balthazar looks up, disappointed. Cas doesn't need to make a decision, it's already there. He's sick of being sad over Dean. He owes it to himself to at least _try_. "I'd love to go out with you," he says.

Balthazar's face lights up, "Really?" He asks and Cas nods.

"Yes," he agrees, "I… need a break."

Balthazar grins, "Terrific," he enthuses, "Do you wanna meet up tomorrow night? Eight at that Roadhouse?"

Cas nods, "Sure… I'll see you there."

"Great," Balthazar beams before patting Cas' arm affectionately and heading off.

Cas heads back to his table and Gabe is wearing a stern expression.

"What was that about?" Gabe asks.

Cas shrugs, "He asked me out," he explains.

Gabe makes a horrified face, "Of course he did… little weasel sneaks in as soon as you're single."

"I said yes," Cas interrupts.

"What?" Gabe yells, "Are you kidding?"

"What?"

"Cas, that's a really bad idea," he says, "I don't think Balthazar really has your best interests at heart."

"I don't care," Cas says quickly and Gabe looks concerned. "I just… need to forget."

"Balthazar is not good for you, Cas."

"Dean wasn't good for me!" He snaps, "I need to be distracted… what's the harm in having some fun?"

"You're giving Balthazar exactly what he wants."

"He's not the enemy, Gabe," Cas explains, "he's a good guy."

Gabe chews his lip, "I think it's just a little shady that he moves in on you so quickly."

Cas shrugs, "I _am_ single… what's the problem."

_The problem is that I don't think Dean left you because he wanted to_, Gabe thinks to himself.

"I just… don't trust him," Gabe explains.

Cas nods, "I know," he says. "You have every reason to distrust my choice in men," he says bitterly. He should probably listen to Gabe but he can't. He just needs the pain to stop.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Gabe decides that action needs to be taken and he knows just who can help him. When he walks into the computer lab, he sees the red hair in the back and a faint sound of 'walking on sunshine' blaring through the headphones over her ears.

When she sees Gabe, she glares and removes her headphones.

"Charlie," Gabe grins down at her.

"Gabriel," she acknowledges, "whenever you come and see me I can always expect trouble."

Gabe grins, "I need a favour."

Charlie tilts her head to the side, "What could you possibly need from me? Want to hack into the dean's computer and change your grades?"

Gabe looks offended, "How could you think so little of me?"

Charlie rolls her eyes, "Because you paid me to do it in your first year."

Gabe just grins, "Well, this one's a little different… I need you to hack into someone's computer for me."

Charlie frowns, "Why?"

"Because I don't trust him," Gabe explains.

"That seems like a sufficient enough reason to invade someone's privacy."

"Hasn't stopped you before," Gabe grins and Charlie rolls her eyes.

Charlie breaks a smile, "I'm not risking expulsion for less than two hundred," she explains.

Gabe frowns, "I don't have that money lying around! I'm a college student that doesn't sell dope for goodness' sake!"

Charlie smiles, "Not my problem."

Gabe pouts, "Please, Charlie," he begs, "pretty, pretty please… I need this!"

Charlie rolls her eyes, "No dice, Gabe…" she refuses, "it's not worth it just for your own piece of mind."

Gabe sighs, "Can you, at least, just hack into his email? Just… snoop around."

Charlie rolls her eyes again and sighs, "Fifty for an email hack," she says.

"You're a pain in my ass, Bradbury," Gabe says as he pulls out his wallet and searches through it. He pulls out some cash and slams it onto her desk, "Forty-five," he says.

Charlie grins and takes the money, "Name?"

"Balthazar," Gabe says, "I don't know his last name but I doubt there's another Balthazar at the school."

Charlie grins again before immediately typing furiously. Gabe stands to look over her shoulder as she works. Gabe loves this part, it's fascinating.

"So, what's this guy's deal anyway?" Charlie asks, "Did he bang your sister or something?"

"Worse," Gabe says quickly, "he's trying to bang Cas."

Charlie laughs, "It probably wouldn't hurt Cas to get laid…"

"It already has," Gabe says bitterly and Charlies decides not to push the subject.

"Okay…" she says, "Balthazar… here he is… in his senior year?" She asks.

Gabe nods, "That's the one."

"Okay… email… here we go," Charlie talks him through it. She types furiously and mutters to herself, "electronic credit card bill… nothing out of the ordinary… few porn sites… a few emails with Cas…" Gabe and Charlie scan through them but it's only casual chatter, "nothing serious… Gabe, there's nothing here."

Gabe sighs, "Is that all you can do?"

Charlie scoffs, "You're talking to the master, Gabe," she dismisses and starts typing into little green and black boxes that only people like Charlie know how to make appear. "There's a few emails here that have been deleted… not deleted normally but properly… he knows what he's doing."

"Can you get to them?"

Charlie chuckles, "He may be good but he's not Charlie-Bradbury-good."

Charlie continues to type in stuff that Gabe doesn't understand. It takes ten minutes before something happens.

"Thundercats are go!" She cries before a series of documents appear on the screen. "Looks like he's tried very hard to delete a series of emails to… _Dean Winchester_?"

"What?" He cries.

"Why is Balthazar sending emails to Dean Winchester?" Charlie squints at the screen as she reads, "blackmailing him to leave Cas alone," Charlie gasps, "Dean's _gay_?"

Gabe points a finger at Charlie, "Confidentiality agreement," he reminds her and she nods, "is that really what it says?"

Charlie nods, "yeah, it's all here but… uhh… kind of looks like Dean threatened to kill him and, then… a week later… there's an email from Dean confirming that he ended it…" Charlie's voice trails off as she finds something.

"What is it?"

"There's a…" Charlie swallows, "video… from the emails, I'd say it's Dean and Cas."

Gabe grins, "Really? Open it."

"No," She refuses, "I'm not here to satisfy your sick curiosity."

"What else would you call what we're doing?"

Charlie rolls her eyes, "Is this what you were looking for?" She asks.

"Definitely," Gabe grins, "Can you print me out the first few emails… you know, the ones that don't show that Dean threatening him."

"Sure," Charlie agrees, "what're you going to do with them?"

The printer makes a sound like it's starting up, "Can you erase those files so that not even you can get to them again?" Gabe asks, "You can leave the first few but…"

"Keep Dean out of trouble?" She finishes his sentence, "No problem but, at least, tell me what you're gonna do with the emails."

Gabe flips through the printed files, "I'm going to keep a sick pervert away from my best friend."

"What about Dean? Won't he and Cas get back together after this? Is that what you want?"

Gabe sighs, "Dean loves Cas," he explains, "I know he does… I'll be back with more money."

Charlie stands, "No charge," she explains and Gabe looks at her curiously, "I'm dying to know how this turns out… let's rock this bitch."

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas sits at the bar with a drink in his hand. He tries to suppress the memory of when he was last here. When Dean had confessed that he loves Cas and Cas had done the same. They'd had a brief moment of passion before Dean pulled away and rejected Cas once again.

He'd felt emptier than before. Somehow, Dean's love just made things worse. Now, he waits for Balthazar, someone he doesn't have feelings for. Well, not really but Cas believes that learning to love is better than falling in love. Certainly, the former won't lead to as much heartbreak. He feels a little guilty, as if he's using his friend but, then again, it's only a first date. Balthazar knows that he's… well, on the rebound, surely he's okay with it? Cas won't even touch the fact that the guilt he's feeling stems from Dean's previous jealousy. He was so caught up in Balthazar being more than a friend to Cas and, yet, here Cas is… first thing he does when they break up. But, then again, why should Cas care? Dean doesn't want him anymore, why should he care how Dean feels?

Cas hears the door open and looks back to see Balthazar enter and smile at him. Cas grins back.

"Hey," he says nervously.

"Hey," Balthazar returns, grinning from ear to ear as he takes the bar stool next to Cas. "How's it going?"

"Fine, want a drink?" He asks and gestures to the bartender for another round.

Balthazar nods and takes the beer offered to him. Cas and Balthazar spend the next hour talking. They reminisce and, Cas has to admit that, he's having a pretty good time. After the third beer, Cas starts on the harder stuff. Only because Balthazar brings up an unspeakable subject.

"So, how're you doing?" Balthazar begins, "With all this… break-up stuff?"

Cas bites his lips, "I'm… umm… fine," he says unevenly.

Balthazar nods, "Did you love him?" He asks, a little bitterly.

Cas looks shocked, he wasn't expecting such a probing question.

"Umm, I really don't want to talk about it…" is all he says.

Balthazar nods, "Sorry to pry," he says quickly.

Cas smiles but it's weak, "It's okay," he says, "it's just… fresh."

Balthazar bites his lip, "Is this too soon?" He asks.

Cas shakes his head, "It's fine," he admits, "I want to be here."

Balthazar smiles, "Good," he says, "Cas," he addresses seriously, "would it be okay if I… well, kissed you?"

Cas ponders. It's what he wants… a distraction.

Cas smiles, "You want to go back to my place?" He asks.

Balthazar grins widely, "Yeah," he agrees, "I'd love to."

Balthazar pays the bill and follows Cas out.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Dean opens the door to see Gabe looking angry. Dean's stomach drops. He had kind of been expecting this.

"I need to talk to you," the small man says.

Dean sighs, "Listen, Gabe… I know why you're here but… if you're here to threaten me – message received and if you want to punch me… go right ahead… I deserve it." He looks distraught, Gabe can see it.

"I'm not here to punch you, Dean," Gabe admits, forcing his way through the door, "not that I wouldn't like taking a shot at it just for kicks."

Dean inhales and exhales, "Then what?" He asks, "Are you going to lecture me about Cas? Save your breath… I don't need _you_ telling me what a horrible person I am, I already know."

"Cas is on a date with Balthazar," Gabe says quickly.

Dean sways where he stands as Gabe's words cause a head rush. He feels like he's going to vomit. He doesn't realise that he's almost on the verge of passing out until Gabe's hand has seized his bicep to steady him. When Dean can stand on his own two feet, he can't face Gabe's concerned expression. He pulls away from his hold and attempts to compose himself.

He clears his throat, "So?" He asks, "He's single, Balthazar's single… why shouldn't they go out?"

Gabe just raises his eyebrows, "Please, Dean… don't act like you don't care… I just watched you almost pass out."

Dean bites his lip, "Why are you here?" He snaps, "Are you trying to rub it in? Punish me for hurting your friend?"

Gabe sighs, "No, Dean… I know you love Cas."

Dean flinches, hearing it come from someone else hurts even more, "What's your point?" He barks.

Gabe holds out the documents in his hands, "Explain these," he implores.

Dean takes the papers and flips through them, "Where'd you get these?" He asks. He'd tried to save these emails but when he returned to his computer, everything was gone, there was no evidence of their conversation. Balthazar was careful to even erase evidence of Dean's message when he'd used Balthazar's unblocked email and told him that it was over.

"I have friends in high places," Gabe explains, "or low places… underground… whatever your ethical view on the matter."

Dean sighs, "I beat the shit out of Balthazar," he explains, a little shameful.

"Good," Gabe says quickly, "I figured you might… lose your head… but we can do something about it… this proves Balthazar has tried to blackmail you."

Dean swallows and forces the papers back into Gabe's hands, "If Cas wants to go out with Balthazar, that's his prerogative… No one forced _him_ to say no." Dean knows he shouldn't be angry at Cas. He hurt him, why wouldn't Cas go out with Balthazar? Dean still feels betrayed like, somehow, Cas should know, deep down, that Dean loves him and isn't the asshole he's acting like. Dean always knew that there was something there and, apparently, Cas did too.

"Dean… You and I both know that some creep is influencing _our_ Cas… are you really going to do nothing?"

"I tried to do something," Dean responds briskly, "and I just made it worse."

"Dean," Gabe addresses seriously, "Cas is only with him because he's trying to forget about _you_… Do you really want Balthazar taking advantage of his vulnerability?"

Dean winces. No, he doesn't want that. That's the last thing he wants.

"It doesn't matter," he decides aloud, "Balthazar still owns my ass… I would gladly get on my knees and beg Cas to take me back but I can't get expelled, Gabe…"

Gabe rolls his lips together, "I'm taking care of it," he explains.

"What?"

"I'm taking care of it," he explains, "As we speak, any evidence against you is being removed… not legally so, I hope you're not opposed to that."

Dean frowns, "Why? I mean… why would you want me back with Cas?"

Gabe shrugs, "Picking the less of two evils."

"I'm a form of evil?" He asks, a little vulnerably.

"I think you're a dick, Dean," Gabe confesses, "but Cas loves you and, to be honest, I'd do anything to erase the memory of him weeping into my chest because he fell for you." Dean can't control his pained expression at the words. Even in front of Gabe, he can't keep his eyes dry. Gabe continues, "I think you're the only person who can make him happy… and take that pain away."

Dean bites his lip, "Where are they?" He asks.

"Roadhouse," Gabe explains, "as hard as I know it will be… don't give Balthazar another excuse."

Dean nods, grabs his jacket and heads out.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas lets himself and Balthazar into his room but he doesn't flick the light on. The nervous feeling in his stomach makes him queasy. He's not even excited, really, just anxious. He hates this nervous feeling, he hasn't had it in years. With Dean, everything's so easy. The first few times, he just took control and Cas couldn't feel anything else but pure desire. He supresses the memories and just focuses on Balthazar, standing in front of him.

"You want a drink?" Cas asks, "I've got…" he looks around his room. He doesn't really have anything. He kneels to check under his bed where he keeps his only-recently-acquired-stash. He pulls out a clear bottle and stands, "Half a bottle of whiskey," he offers. He'd caved and bought a bottle, even though it causes old memories to resurface. Now, he'll make some new memories.

Cas opens the bottle and takes a swig and then offers it to Balthazar. Balthazar smiles before accepting the offer. He takes a deliberate step forward and invades Cas' personal space. In the darkness and with the smell of whiskey close to his mouth, he can almost imagine that it's Dean standing in front of him.

"Cas…" Balthazar whispers and it's so clear that it's not Dean's voice. Cas doesn't want the illusion shattered, no matter how unhealthy that is. He needs this.

Cas puts a finger to Balthazar's lips, "Don't talk," he whispers. His hands trail down to Balthazar's shirt and he yanks him against him, "Just make me forget," he begs. Cas crushes his lips against Balthazar's and starts pulling at his clothes.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Dean hurries to the Roadhouse. He bursts in, scanning the room quickly but he's not here. Cas isn't here.

He rushes to the bar, "Ellen?" He asks the barkeeper.

"What's up, kid?" She asks.

"Did you see a brunette kid in here earlier… yay big, probably wearing a tie… _really_ blue eyes," he says desperately.

Ellen nods, "Yeah," she says, "he was in here earlier… probably left about twenty minutes ago… with some blonde kid."

"Do you know where they went?" Dean asks.

Ellen shakes her head, "Sorry, hun…" she shrugs, "I don't keep tabs on my costumers… otherwise I'd be making a fortune from stay-at-home-wives and your grumpy, old uncle." Dean groans, "What's the matter?" She asks.

Dean shakes his head and looks into Ellen's gentle eyes. If he's going to stop Balthazar and Cas… he needs to accept that he can't hide anymore. Not because he's sick of repressing himself but because he won't repress Cas. He wants everyone to know what he's got because he's going to fight like hell to get it back.

"That blonde kid's trying to move in on my boyfriend," Dean explains and he watches Ellen's eyebrows rise.

She stutters over her words as she explains, "Well," she begins, "you better hurry, kid… they were looking a little… intimate."

Dean's stomach drops, "Thanks Ellen," he says quickly as he runs back outside. Dean heads straight for Cas' room. If there're not there, he'll go to Balthazar's and if they're not there… he doesn't know what he'll do.

Thought of what they might be doing start running through Dean's head. Balthazar touching and kissing _his_ Cas, he feels sick. He picks up the pace.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Balthazar grabs Cas' waist and presses himself into him. He moans. _Finally,_ he thinks, _finally I get Cas_. He's as sweet and soft to touch as Balthazar imagined.

The feel of Balthazar's hands all over him feels… wrong. He knows it should feel good, make him tingle but it doesn't. Balthazar's tongue in his mouth doesn't turn him on. It's wrong, it's all wrong because he's not Dean.

Cas' hands seize over Balthazar's as he reaches for Cas' belt, "You're not him," he whispers.

"What?" Balthazar asks.

"I'm sorry," Cas says, "I can't do this, Balthazar, I'm sorry."

Balthazar doesn't respond, nor does he move, "What?" He quivers, "Are you kidding?"

"I'm sorry," Cas says again and gently pushes Balthazar's hands away. His sudden change of mood makes him uncomfortable and slightly nervous, "I think you should leave."

Balthazar shakes his head in disbelief, "Unbelievable," he mutters. "What, Cas?" He blurts, louder and fiercer than before, "Am I too _nice_ for you?" Cas flinches but Balthazar doesn't stop, "I guess the only kind of guy that can get into your pants is an asshole like Dean Winchester."

"Apparently I just attract assholes," Cas snaps.

"You know, what?" He hisses, "You were a tease in high school and you're still a fucking tease."

Cas exhales angrily, "You think you can bully me into sleep with you? I'm not seventeen anymore Balthazar… You can't make me feel guilty because I don't want to fuck you."

"It's him, isn't?" Balthazar spits, "You're in love with him?"

Cas grinds his teeth, "Dean is none of your business," he spits.

"Why are you protecting him after the way he's treated you?"

"What the hell do you know about how Dean treats me?" Cas asks, "You don't know anything."

"I know he'll never love you the way I do, Cas!"

"I'll never love you the way you want me to, Balthazar," Cas admits, "I can't."

Balthazar breathes deeply, "He'll never love you like you want him to," he says, "I could've been your cure, Cas… if you'd let me."

Balthazar turns on that note and leaves.

Cas crawls onto his bed as Balthazar's true words ring loudly in his head: 'he'll never love you'.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas sits up abruptly as someone bursts through the door. His stomach drops as he thinks that Balthazar might be back, looking to torment Cas further. He tries to wipe the tears away and Dean comes into focus.

"Dean?" Cas asks, "What're you doing here?"

Dean looks down at Cas and sees the tears in his eyes. The worst possible scenarios start playing over in his head. He doesn't even think about it as he kneels in front of Cas and immediately starts wiping away the moisture from his cheeks.

"Cas?" He whispers, "What'd Balthazar do to you?"

Cas frowns and pushes Dean away from him angrily, he's too drunk to even care what he looks like or what implications his words may have, "Balthazar didn't do this to me, Dean," Cas spits, "you did."

"Cas…" Dean whispers.

"Just get away from me!" Cas yells.

"Cas please…" Dean begs, feeling himself grow emotional, "I love you…"

"Don't," Cas refuses, "don't you dare say that to me… I can't…"

Dean seizes Cas' face between his hands, "Cas…" Cas struggles, trying to push Dean away, "Castiel!" He practically shouts and Cas stops dead. No one ever calls him Castiel. He stares into Dean's pleading, green eyes and there're glossy with wetness. "I never wanted to break up with you… I want to be with you… I love you."

Cas pushes at Dean before seizing him by the front of his shirt, "Stop fucking with me," Cas pleads, "I can't take it anymore, Dean… you come here and tell me that you love me… I can't keep holding back…"

"Then don't," Dean responds, "don't hold back."

Cas breathes in and exhales, "Why are you doing this to me?" He whispers and the agony is clear on his face, "you're just going to hurt me again."

"I can't let you go," Dean says desperately, "I never wanted to."

"And what?" Cas asks, his fervent lips only inches from Dean's, "Now you're okay with us?"

"Now, I don't have Balthazar blackmailing me to stay away from you."

"What?" Cas whispers.

"Balthazar forced me to, Cas," Dean explains, "he's fucking crazy… I don't care if you… with Balthazar, Cas… Just… I hope you can take me back… Please believe me… Please don't choose him."

Dean is silenced as Cas' lips force his to close. Dean eagerly grips Cas' chin and enters his mouth. Cas briefly pulls away, "I couldn't…" he whispers, "he wasn't you… all I want is you."

Dean yanks Cas down off the bed and onto his lap. He kisses him deeper and harder than before, unwilling to let go and unable to get enough.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Dean runs his fingers through Cas' hair as his head rests on his chest. He kisses the top of his head, "You're so beautiful," he whispers, thinking that Cas is asleep. Cas raises his head to smile at a blushing Dean.

"And you're perfect," he says back and kisses Dean's chest, "never change."

Dean smiles, "You really want to be with me?" He asks, "I'm an asshole and you're an angel."

"You're amazing, Dean," he begins, "I wish you could see that."

"It's enough that you see it… No one's ever looked at me the way you do… Like I'm precious… important… Before you… it's like I was living in darkness… I feel like you gripped me tight and raised me from perdition or something…"

Cas chuckles, "Dean…" he begins, blushing.

"I love you, Cas," he says.

"I love you too," he says softly, "I always will." He scraps his lips over Dean's chest again.

Dean smiles and tilts Cas' chin and guides their lips together, "I can't wait to show that off."

Cas frowns, "Dean, you don't have to come out to please me… I can wait-,"

"No," Dean interrupts, "I want everyone to know but first…"

"But first what?" Cas asks, a little nervously.

"First, you have to meet my brother."

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Dean paces nervously and Cas watches him from his post on the picnic bench, "Relax, baby," he soothes, "it'll be okay."

Dean nods, "I know," he says, "I just… didn't think I'd be so… edgy."

Cas wishes he could reach out and hold his hands but they decided that they'd tell Sam first and let him adjust before they let him see any public displays of affection.

Cas just nods, "If you don't want to do this…"

"Of course I do," he assures Cas, "it's just… I'm currently trying to search through all my memories for any hint of Sam's attitude towards this… I have no idea what his reaction will be."

"Hey!" Cas calls, causing Dean to halt from his pace to look at Cas, "It'll be okay," he assures again. He makes a kissing gesture and Dean's face lights up.

"Thanks," Dean beams.

Cas smiles but it disappears and he nods, "Here he comes," he says.

Dean turns to see Sam heading towards them, "Hey," he greets and Dean pulls him in for a hug.

Sam eyes Cas, "Who's this?" He asks.

Cas stands to hold out his hand and Sam takes it, "I'm Cas," he greets.

"Sam," Sam nods and then looks to Dean for guidance.

"Um, Sam," Dean begins, "Cas is… a good friend of mine," he begins, his voice quivers nervously, "he's… uhh…" _Just get it out,_ Dean thinks. Cas doesn't think about his actions. He slides his hand into Dean's for support. It provokes Dean's confession, "My boyfriend," He blurts out.

Sam's eyes widen and they drift to Dean and Cas' locked hands and then to both Cas and Dean's face, "Really?" He asks.

Dean nods and swallows nervously, "Yes," he says. He stares at Sam's face expectantly but nothing gives him away.

Dean's eyes widen as Sam burst out laughing. He looks to Cas but Cas looks just as confused as he is.

"Oh, thank God!" He cries.

Dean just frowns, "What?" He asks.

Sam smiles, "I thought you were… homophobic," he confesses, shaking his head, "Kevin and I hooked up a while back," Dean's eyes widen, "I mean, I'm not gay, I know that but I desperately wanted to talk to you but didn't think I could…"

"So, you're okay with this?" Dean asks and Sam smiles.

"Of course, I think it's great," he pulls Dean in for another hug. Then, he pulls back and brings Cas in for a hug, "And even better that you found someone…" Cas grins widely at Sam's enthusiasm.

"He's coming to Bobby's on Sunday night," Dean informs Sam proudly, "that's why I wanted to have dinner."

Sam grins even wider at Cas, "Dean's never brought someone home… you must be pretty special," he says.

Cas can't help but blush, "I hope so," he says softly.

"I love him," Dean blurts out and Sam looks more caught off guard than when Dean just came out of the closest.

Sam grins, "Then he's family," he says and Cas can't get the smile off his face at that comment.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas and Dean hold hands as they head over to meet Gabe and Charlie, sitting on the grass. People stare but Dean doesn't care. Even when his friends stare at him like they're utterly astonished, Dean only grins at them and usually does something like bring Cas' hand to his lips.

"Look at you two," Charlie beams, "you should be on a poster for gay pride."

Cas chuckles and sits down on the blanket. Dean joins them.

"So, how'd it go?" Dean asks.

"I took all Balthazar's evidence from his room," Charlie says, "there's nothing he has that will implicate you, Dean… and we have enough evidence to get him expelled."

"Good, let's do it," Dean says quickly, taking the file Charlie's offering him.

Cas takes the file off Dean, "No," he says. Dean looks at Cas to show his outrage but Cas isn't looking at him. His eyes are off in the distance.

Dean follows his line of view and sees Balthazar standing in the middle of the path, staring at them nervously.

Dean exhales angrily and makes to stand but Cas stops him.

"I'll handle this," he says and stands.

"Cas…" Dean begs.

"Please, Dean," Cas implores, "he almost took you away from me… I need to do this."

Dean can't say no to those pleading eyes. He nods and Cas takes off towards Balthazar.

"Cas…" Balthazar begins.

"Don't," Cas says quickly, "I know what you did."

Balthazar swallows, "They broke into my room…"

"And you hacking my computer to spy on me, that's much better?"

Balthazar's jaw clenches, "I did that to protect you…"

"And I'm doing this to protect Dean," Cas says quickly. "I've got your emails here," he informs him. "How could you do that to me?"

"I love you, Cas," Balthazar explains, "Dean can't-,"

"I want you gone," Cas says simply, "either you disappear from my life or I show these to the dean…"

"Cas, please," Balthazar begs, "I need you… I can't go without you again." He takes a step forward and Cas steps back.

"Don't make me sic Dean on you," Cas warns.

Balthazar grinds his teeth, "This isn't fair!" He snaps.

Cas can sense it happening before it does. He turns just as Dean comes running. He uses his body to stop Dean from attacking Balthazar.

"Don't you shout at him!" He cries.

"What's wrong Dean, you want to hit me again? Go ahead!" Balthazar cries.

Cas holds Dean back, "Don't Dean," he soothes softly. He doesn't need to shout, Dean listens to him no matter what, "He's not worth it." Dean looks into Cas' eyes and he can tell that he's sure, "I'll take care of it," he assures Dean.

Dean backs away but Balthazar doesn't stop, "Pussy!" He cries.

Dean turns back but all it takes is a stern look from Cas and he walks away. Cas turns back to Balthazar.

"You speak to him like that again and I swear to God, _I'll _punch you," Cas says quickly and Balthazar looks utterly horrified.

"You wouldn't," he says.

"Try me," Cas says quickly, "I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have the heart to get _me_ expelled."

"No," Balthazar admits, "I would never do that to you…" He sighs, "I'll… leave Cas… because you want me to."

Cas nods, "Good," he says.

"Is there anything I can do, to make this better?"

"Just leave quickly," Cas says.

"Yeah," Balthazar agrees, "I will… but you need to know that _he_ will never love you like I do."

"You don't know anything about him, Balthazar," Cas says quickly before walking away.

Cas kneels down next to Dean again, "Well?" Dean asks.

"He's leaving," Cas says, squeezing Dean's hand. "I told you I'd take care of it."

Dean pulls him in for a kiss, "Yes," he agrees, "you did… you're amazing and sweet and sexy in control," he whispers.

"Barf," Gabe mutters, "I don't need to know about your weird, domination fetish, Dean."

"You were the one who wanted to watch their video," Charlie mutters.

"I'm sorry, what?" Dean asks, "You watched our video?"

Gabe looks a little lost for words, "Of course not!" He gushes, "I didn't actually watch it."

"Because I wouldn't let him," Charlie intervenes.

"Gabe!" Cas cries.

"I was a little curious, so sue me!" He yells, "I just wanted to know who… you know… is the, uhh… bottom."

Cas chuckles and Dean lightly joins in.

"It's obvious, isn't it?" Charlie blurts, catching everyone's attention, "Dean's clearly the bitch!"

Cas laughs loudly, "Why do you say that?" Dean demands.

Charlie shrugs, "You just seem like the type who'd like to get dominated," she says and everyone laughs. Dean begrudgingly cracks a smile.

Cas leans over to whisper into his ear, "She's right, you know," he says, "you _do_ seem like you want to be dominated."

The corner of Dean's mouth twitches mischievously, "You certainly know how to read me," he whispers back, "maybe you'd like to… explore that assumption later."

Cas grins, "I'd love to…"

"And, umm," Dean begins nervously, "maybe Charlie's right about the… bottoming thing," he whispers.

Cas pulls back to raise his eyebrows, "Really?" He asks.

Dean shrugs shyly, "Yeah maybe," he says and then grins, "you interested?"

Cas bites his lip, "Very," he says before moving in to press his lips against his lovers.

_-|||oooO~Oooo|||-_

Cas' hand sits comfortably on Dean's knee as they drive to Bobby's. Sam sits in the back with his earphones in his ears.

"It'll be fine," Cas soothes Dean, sensing his uneasy nerves.

Dean just nods, "Yeah," he agrees, "I just… don't know what he'll say."

"You didn't know what Sam would say," Cas responds, "and that worked out great."

Dean smiles, "I wouldn't be able to do this without you," he enthuses as he brings Cas' hand to his lips.

"Well, you wouldn't have to if it weren't for me," Cas says, causing Dean to laugh.

"Thank you," he says.

Dean pulls up to Bobby's place and Cas follows him inside.

"Bobby?" Dean calls, heading straight to the fridge for three beers. He hands them out and eagerly takes a big gulp of liquid courage.

"In the garage!" Bobby calls, "I'll be out in a sec," he says.

"I'm going to… make myself scarce," Sam says awkwardly as Bobby comes into the kitchen.

Bobby immediately pulls Dean into a hug, "Come over to eat my food and drink my beer," Bobby says lightly.

"You're a grumpy old man," Dean laughs.

Bobby pulls back to appraise Cas, "Hey," he greets, "I'm Bobby," he says as he holds out his hand.

Cas takes it, "Cas," he smiles broadly.

"Cas is my boyfriend," Dean blurts out quickly. He doesn't want to stand here and consider every word carefully like he did with Sam, that just made him more nervous. This way, it's out there and he can't take it back. Cas' eyes widen uncomfortably and he takes a big gulp of his beer. Bobby's expression doesn't change.

"Alright," he says blandly, "that's, umm… nice." He says. "So, does that mean you're staying for dinner?" He asks and Dean breaks a smile. Cas lights up too.

"If that's not too much trouble?" Cas asks humbly.

Bobby shrugs, "The more the merrier," he says. "Any… boyfriend of Dean's is welcome in my home…" Bobby goes to turn away but stops to frown again, "there is only one right?"

"God, I hope so," Cas says quickly.

Bobby chuckles and Dean shoots Cas an accusing look. "Where's your brother?" Bobby interrupts, "I need him in the kitchen… Sam?"

"Coming," Sam calls from the lounge room, coming in to wrap an arm around Bobby and head towards the stove.

"I think that went well," Cas whispers.

Dean sighs, "I'm so glad that's over."

Cas chuckles, "So," he begins, starting himself on his own tour, "is this where you grew up?"

Dean smiles, "Yeah," he says, "want to see my bedroom?"

Cas turns to grin, "I'd love to."

Dean leads Cas upstairs and into his teenage bedroom. Cas takes in every inch of it, like it's oxygen. Every tiny speck of the room is a contribution to Dean and who he is. Cas doesn't think he'll ever get enough of that.

Dean creeps up behind him to wraps his arms around his waist, "I think Bobby likes you," he says and Cas can hear the smile in his voice.

"Thank God for that," Cas says.

Dean chuckles, "Careful, I might start to think that I'm important to you." Dean's lips trail against Cas' neck softly. Cas chuckles, "Thank you…" Dean begins softly, "for being here with me… for being with me at all."

Cas sighs and leans back into Dean, "I wouldn't be anywhere else in the world," he says.

Dean turns Cas and presses their lips together. He gently pulls away, "You don't know what that means to me," he whispers. "That you're here… that you want to be… that you love me… it feels too good to be true."

Cas smiles, "I'm here Dean," he whispers, "I'll always be here… forever."

"Forever?" Dean clarifies, "Do you mean that?"

Cas presses his lips softly against Dean's, "Yes," he says softly, "if you'll have me."

Dean looks into Cas' eyes and he reaches up to hold his chin. His beautiful face is like a work of art to Dean. The only one he ever imagines having. The only one he ever wants to look at.

"I love you, Castiel," Dean says, "and I'll marry you as soon as you let me."

Silence fills the air for a moment, "Do you mean that?" Cas whispers.

Dean nods, "Yes," he whispers against Cas' lips. The words had just slipped out but now he knows that he means them. He realises how much he wants it. He wants Cas, in every way possible. He wants to marry him. "Marry me?" He whispers.

Cas breathes deeply, "Yes," he agrees, "of course I will." He crushes his lips against Dean's desperately, clutching himself as close to Dean as he can.

Dean's hands run through Cas' hair, "I love you," he repeats. Cas grins as he presses his lips against Dean's once more and directs him towards his bed. Dean sits as the back of his knees collide with the bedframe.

Cas smiles down at him, "I love you too… Dean Winchester and I will gladly be your husband."

**I hope you like, I know it's not perfect but it's been a rush to get out. I've been going crazy with all these bits and pieces in my head. It was fun :) I hope you liked it. **

**Final reviews? Please and Thank you.**


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